ThumbingMyWay Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 SO... most who know my story, know I have been thru alot...and that I have learned alot. SO...with in the last few days I have learned the following from 3 close friends: #1 - He recently got back with his GF. They had a 5 year relationship that ended becasue he was not considerate of her needs...during their off time....he figured out and took alot of responsibility for her leaving. BUT they have got back to gether and are working thigns out. He called me and told me....I was so happy for them. He said, he wants to hang out more casue my wife and I are a good couple and he wants to do more tings as couples. Little does he know my hole situation.....but I am here for him #2 - Long time childhood freind. Married a woman he knew for less than 1 year. Turns out that this woman is verbally abusing him and he left her the other day cause he couldnt take it anymore. He actually moved out of the house and took all his things. I guess SHE went bilisstic....threatened him and stuff. He is really confused and doesnt know what to do. He knows MY WHOLE story...and knows what I am going thru....and he is asking ME for advice?. I told him ONLY he knows what is best for him. MY opinion would be to RUN and never look back...but I havent told him this yet. His W is 38, has had 5 canceled engagements and is 3 times divorced....all over the same things....SHE is verbally abusive and her men leave her everytime. My firend is in denial...and I hope he see her for what she is. The only way they can make it is if she gets some serious help with her inner problems about what it means to be in a relationship. #3 - Long time friend who doesnt know my situ. Hes been with this girl for about a year now. She has a 2 yo boy from previous relationship. My firend has played the role of father to him. BUT now, I come to find out she is pregent with his child. He tells me this,a nd I am excited for him. Then he tells me, but I dont love her anymore...I dont feel it for her....he says, I am in love with her best friend and she likes me too. They have not been toghter yet, but they both feel it. So here he is....pregnant GF and he loves her best friend.....f-uped situ...and he dont know what to do.....I dont know what to tell him. So here I am.....having been thru betrayel and I have 3 close friends all experinceing similar relationship problems. I dont know what God is telling me to do. I believe what happended to me was his prupsoe for me to grow. But now I believe he wants me to use what I haveed learned to help others with the same problems....so here is my opportunity to do this.....its almost like this was supposed to happen....I am in a position to help others...but I ma scared as to how to approach all of this....considering I am still not well myself in my situ.... sometimes life wont leave you alone.....so make the best of it... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 They have not been toghter yet, but they both feel it. So here he is....pregnant GF and he loves her best friend.....f-uped situ...and he dont know what to do.....I dont know what to tell him. No s***, but tell him to post on LS. If you're comfy with that... Thumbs, the best thing I can tell ya is just being a friend, listening and offering friendship is going to mean alot to your buddies. With your insight and good energy anybody with any problems who is around you is going to feel better. I have a really wonderful friend who just oozes energy - No matter what mood she is in, it's just there...I always feel better after I've spoken with her, she just lifts me up. You have that same quality. Link to post Share on other sites
fleafly Posted April 2, 2005 Share Posted April 2, 2005 Hey Thumbs, hope all is well... Now I have to relate a story! although its with only one friend.... This person used to be my best friend, long story short, we had a huge disagreement a few years back, and we have not spoken since that time. right after my discovery, out of the blue my friends mother called me one day, telling me that my friend has fallen on hard times and could really use a friend. So I called him, we met up, patched up our differences and started talking again. This was almost a god send to me, because little did he know, I needed a friend at this point in my life more then anything. Anyways, he recently broke up with his fiance, someone he was seeing for three years and I had never met. So all three of us met up one day, and decided that we might go out the next night. She lives about 50 miles from us, and me and my buddy went out to the bar the next night, as she was busy untill about 9:30. He decides at about 8:30 that we should start heading up to her house. so we can meet her at 9:30. I thought this was a bad idea and told him we should wait for her to call, mainly because I didnt feel like driving for 50 miles for nothing. But I did. As soon as we get near her house, she calls, says she is home, but maybe we should meet some where else because she has company. It turns out that her company is the person she broke up with my friend to go out with. My buddy is FURIOUS at this point I have never seen someone so mad before. He was telling her on the phone that we are on the way to her house and he is going to kill them both, and I honestly believed him. So I turn the car around, and start heading back home, trying to convince him that nothing good is going to happen, and he needs to deal with it in his own way. He looks at me and says, "what would YOU do, this guy came into our lives when we were having problems, said all the right things, and next thing you know, hes ****ing my fiance!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE?? DO YOU?? I didnt have the heart to tell him I knew exactly how he felt, I just couldnt do it. Ill tell you something else too. As you probably know, I was seeing other women for awhile when I initially moved out. You might not believe this, I still dont. the first woman I went out with had the same birthday as the OM. The second woman I saw had MY BIRTHDAY, and a daughter that has the same birthday as my sons, talk about life not leaving you alone... flea Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThumbingMyWay Posted April 2, 2005 Author Share Posted April 2, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup No s***, but tell him to post on LS. If you're comfy with that... Thumbs, the best thing I can tell ya is just being a friend, listening and offering friendship is going to mean alot to your buddies. With your insight and good energy anybody with any problems who is around you is going to feel better. I have a really wonderful friend who just oozes energy - No matter what mood she is in, it's just there...I always feel better after I've spoken with her, she just lifts me up. You have that same quality. thanx...I will be the best friend I can be. A true friend tells you the truth....false friends tell you what you want to here....I will do my best to offer support, without getting involved...I got my own sh*t to deal with Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThumbingMyWay Posted April 2, 2005 Author Share Posted April 2, 2005 Originally posted by fleafly This was almost a god send to me, because little did he know, I needed a friend at this point in my life more then anything. Not sure of your faith Flea....but He does guide us when we are most down. I truely believe that. You were reunited with this friend for a reason....what you do with it is up to you. Is a great thing when we notice and act on the "signs" in front of us. He offers help everyday....its wether we see this help with our eyes or feel it in our heart..... as for me...I am feeling good today....wife is up seeing her mom for the weekend....I miss her....but she needs this time with her mom...and time away from us. Hopefully some more fog has lifted after talking with her mom..... Link to post Share on other sites
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