Dog Woman Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 I'm divorced but up until a few months ago had been having an affair with a married man. The affair ended and I'm in NC with my ex MM. I haven't been looking for another relationship but a single coworker started showing an interest in me and hinted we go for a drink after a conference we had both attended but I passed the suggestion over - not really wanting to get too involved with anyone. However we became friends on facebook and sent the occasional message to each other. He has been teasing me about me looking for other men and I jokingly said that it was he who was eyeing up women. I explained I wasn't that bothered about another relationship at the moment. I would be happy to have him as a friend but nothing else - he's 10 years younger than me and we don't appear to have that much in common, other than we are hardworking and conscientious in our jobs. For the last couple of weeks he has been avoiding me and only speaking when he needs to - its awkward and I can't work out whether he is embarrassed or has just lost interest. I'm not sure how to handle this. Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Hmm, it's hard to say. Unfortunately a lot of workplace romances can make things awkward if you break up. Since as you mentioned, it doesn't seem like you have much in common and you're not ready for a relationship, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Just be cordial and go about your workday. If he was really interested in you, he might be hurt since he was put in the friendzone. There really is not much you can do at this point other than just to be friendly at work. "Hi, bye, casual conversation etc" He'll get over it eventually. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 He got rejected, so he's embarrassed and probably doesn't want to just be friends. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GG3 Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Maybe he is afraid to talk to you too much after that so you won't feel harrassed. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Let him avoid you. It doesn't really matter why he's doing it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dog Woman Posted February 11, 2015 Author Share Posted February 11, 2015 The awkwardness between me and cooworker has been resolved. He has been promoted this week, something I have known about for months and he thought I knew about it but wasn't sure so he has kept quiet. I too haven't broached the subject, not wanting to put him in a position where he would be breaking a confidence. I decided to congratulate him yesterday and we ended up having a chat about various work related stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
loverboy69 Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 The awkwardness between me and cooworker has been resolved. He has been promoted this week, something I have known about for months and he thought I knew about it but wasn't sure so he has kept quiet. I too haven't broached the subject, not wanting to put him in a position where he would be breaking a confidence. I decided to congratulate him yesterday and we ended up having a chat about various work related stuff. As a man I can tell you that we are all sensitive even if some claim otherwise. Plus it's not easy being just friends with someone you have feelings for. We tend to back off and avoid you if we feel rejected. I'm glad you were able to at least chat. Believe me though if he still really likes you the moment he sees you flirting or being overly friendly with another guy at work he will pull the cold shoulder / silent treatment thing on you again. If he does don't assume he's playing games with you he'll just be a little broken hearted each time up until he finds someone else and can mentally and emotionally move on. When he reaches that final level you'll be able to be friends with him like everyone else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dog Woman Posted February 17, 2015 Author Share Posted February 17, 2015 Many thanks for your post loverboy69. It has been interesting to hear a man's perspective of my situation. My cooworker's attitude has definitely changed since I approached him to congratulate him. I don't know whether he has decided to give up on me and just be friendly but professional or whether he could be dating someone as he has been leaving earlier more often instead of his usual pattern of working late. The main thing is we are being professional in the office and there is no awkwardness now. Link to post Share on other sites
Man15 Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 or anyone in your business circles. I avoid them as much as possible and keep them on LinkedIn. Link to post Share on other sites
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