Miss Mojo Posted March 5, 2001 Share Posted March 5, 2001 hi joe, the one thing i will never understand is why people have to tell their partners *what they did* with other people. e.g. hands down the pants, rubbing genitals etc. my advice: DO NOT GO INTO DETAILS!!!! for starters, it's pretty crass to go into details of what happened, and secondly when people find out about these details, the partner who's hearing what happened, tends to create scenarios in their head and see things that didn't happen, read into things, compare themselves, become MAJORLY insecure etc.... you wrote: I can tell she doesn't want to tell me everything why on earth would she want to???? are you pushing the issue? if you are, stop it because you are only going to hear things that you don't want to hear! It seems like everytime she tells me the stories it's as if it's not even the same one! She changes it so that I won't get as mad, but I get madder because I can tell she's changing the stories, such as making them sound less severe, like it wasn't such a big deal, etc. you nailed it in the second sentence buddy!! she's changing the stories so you won't get madder! and IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL NOW because IT IS HER PAST!!!!! There's just been a lot of things that bother me right now, and it's a really hard time. you'll continue to have a hard time if you don't let it drop. EVERYONE has a past of some sort. it doesn't matter now, in the present (which is not the past) if she didn't feel comfortable doing something. that's all part of growing up and learning what you do and don't like. 99% of us have been in a situation sexually when we were younger where we've thought, "no, i don't want to do this". it does not matter now. my ex put me through a similar situation. i.e. we knew how many people we'd each slept with - i never gave details, but he couldn't handle my piddly less than 8 past and tore himself up over it. trying to get through his damn head that what happened before i met him was exactly that - BEFORE I MET HIM, just drained us both in the end. and it was all borne out of his insecurities. and that's where your problems are stemming from too. you have to understand that you are wasting a lot of valuable time and energy and a good relationship by worrying about her past, when she is in love with you now!!! if her past meant anything to her, she wouldn't be with you now, right? so from a chick who's been there too, FORGET ABOUT IT!! the only person making a mountain out of a molehill here is you. and may i suggest that your girlfriend doesn't go into details..... Link to post Share on other sites
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