I didn't really want to learn a sport even though I said I would...

[genuinelyloverly7]

Hello LS! I joined an over 35, co-ed soccer team last summer, and had a pretty good time running around in the heat of the South and playing what I call sloppy soccer. (8v8, half fields, and i didnt even know what offsides meant). I didn't really know the rules, only that I should do what my teammates said to do, and run run run! I had become interested in soccer (I like to call it futbol, but I am in the USA so no-one knows which game I mean) after living with an ex for over 7 years who was a fanatic for the game.

Last fall a new team formed for the full (11v11) team and field season and I joined that one, anticipating a team where we would have a good time and enjoy our games, like in the summer. I figured id study up a little and have a mellow fun social outlet. But we were short the whole season (by at least 1-5 people each game) and didnt win a single game.

 

The new spring season is about to start this sunday coming up and I don't really want to play! Not because we lost, or might lose our games. But because I am realizing I don't really care about team sports that much! I have little to no motivation to learn the rules for organized sports; it doesn't really fit into my lifestyle. But I enjoy watching it enough that I figured I might enjoy playing it casually.

 

I will stay with my team this season because I gave my word, and I hate quitting things when I know Id like it better if I was better at it...

 

I need to get in shape; I have enough body image issues without adding on feelings of social inadequacies on top of them. So I need to do it fast. But my second practice of the season is tonight and I don't want to be slow and goofy-footed, cold and miserable, in front of a bunch of strangers! What do I do but suck it up? or call in sick... no, I can't do that...

 

I probably need to study and practice the game; I barely know the rules enough to play. My teammates are gtting tired of it after one and a half seasons of my playing. But other than gaining more self-discipline, I can barely see the point of it- how will this shape my mentality and thought process afterwords? I perceive group competitive sports as a substitute for war thoughts. So am I creating a more adversarial mentality within myself when I learn team sport psychology? I don't want that.

 

On the other hand: Its only 12 weeks=8-10 hours a week on practice, and the game. I can enjoy the learning and growth from the experience, and not go back again if I don't want to.

 

BUT... I am just getting my personal business started and going. I need to put A LOT of time into that. I didnt realize these two things would be lining up like this timewise. Everyone else on my team spends a lot of time at work, but those are all corporate structured jobs, which leaves more structured free time, I guess. They also have kids. So I feel like it is an excuse to say I don't have time. But I feel like I don't have time! I am trying to become financially stable as an independant contracter in a new field in my area, as well as work on a side project for my families business. Thus my feeling like I should just quit and focus on my work and the classes and projects coming up in the next 12 weeks. It is an amazing coincidence that the two are overlapping, but might it not also be a sign to focus on one or the other? Soccer is no competition to my career. But I gave my word...

 

Thoughts? Opinions? Thanks all.

Edited February 5, 2015 by genuinelyloverly7
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[StalwartMind]

Despite participating in what I assume is a more relaxed type of sport commitment, I would have researched the rules myself before day one. That advice is of course irrelevant at this stage, but you could also of asked one of your teammates to explain the basics to intermediate concepts of football. It's really not that difficult and it can be learned fairly quickly. I understand that not everyone care to commit on a super high level when they are to try something, but I feel that the experience and results typically are much better if you actually do bother to at least put in some minimal effort.

 

I value that you feel some responsibility because you gave your word, however if you feel team sports are not really for you, then I would actually reconsider what I am doing. As someone that takes pleasure in competition and a lot of different sports, I don't recognize your mentality and thoughts on what competitive sports are a "substitute" for. People work and perceive anything team related quite differently, but again like relationships communication is key to something being more enjoyable and successful. If I had noticed you were struggling with the rules of the game I would of pulled you to the side, maybe after practice and spend some time with you to explain you the game and how YOU could make the most of it. Awareness of your teammates and fellow humans in general is a very valuable trait that perhaps too many lack. I personally find it interesting to help someone maximize their potential regardless if they'll never be the best at something, or their current condition prevent them from reaching that stage.

 

There's no question I'd prioritize my personal business if I was you, there is also no real shame in withdrawing for something, because you feel it isn't quite as fun as you may of hoped for. Sometimes you are just around the "wrong" people or it's not really the right time. Sport mentality and activity is also a bit different in Europe (where i am from) compared to say the North America. From a very young age I was exposed to structure and organization through sport and that has probably helped me with how i approach, perceive and think about most things today.

 

I pardon if above is a bit rambling, but I feel you could probably still enjoy this, although none of it seems very ideal. Do you not have substitute players when you have games, because that could be pretty ideal considering that player absence is more common among adults in more relaxed environments. It would be great to have a solid group and extra players, however if the trend is that you are always players short then you are not getting the full experience.

 

I'd recommend you think about it a bit more, there isn't any point in "wasting" time on something, if those around you aren't as helpful as they could be or committed into making it an experience that is worthwhile.

[genuinelyloverly7]

Thanks for your input StawartMind- I had gone over it in my head today and realized/decided that I would just stop complaining, enjoy the challenge and the pure fun of running around and learning something new. Mindset is everything! Well... that and being flexible and in shape. ��

 

I am definitely not a team player in my everyday; my parents are artists and very laid back and free-spirited and individual/loner types, as am I. Add to that the lack of support I was given for my desire to run track (because I was slightly bigger than most of the girls, I was made to do shot-put/discus and I hated that) by my school- my parents were supportive if not enthusiastic... it just didn't clock for them to encourage that I guess. But yes I got a little bitter towards team sports when I wasnt allowed to go out for track the next year, and was effectively banned from sports for the rest of my primary school years, all because I didn't rate in the correct percentile in 7th grade.

 

About the war comment; I guess I was venting there a little; the sports oriented students were not kind to me, and I was probably not kind to them either, in high school. I was a fish out of water, and am just in the last few years learning that not all sports-focused men/people are aggressive and angry people.

 

I definitely feel like I had more fun and learned more about the game when I was on the 8v8 team season; at least that team had ebough to be evenly matched. I know the team is struggling for players, and the league was kind enough to let us play without the full complement all the time, so we could stay on the score-board. But not having enough team-mates again for the second season will be frustrating. And yes, I am a baby about the cold, haha. It is the one thing that gets me more than anything else. So that is a huge deterrent.

 

To update you; I went to practice (a 45 minute drive away from my house; games are 30-40 minute drives) tonight and got an email update on my phone saying practice had been cancelled due to the weather <cold and muddy> and lack of enough people confirming, which I did. So I got all zen about it for the next time, I guess. So we are meeting for our first game this Sunday at 3pm; I will see if my home yoga and playing with the ball is enough. I will also watch some games on youtube... any suggestions? I play defensive midfield right now, but when we are low we float all over.

Edited February 6, 2015 by genuinelyloverly7

[genuinelyloverly7]

Wow; I think I had to just get it all out in this original post. But I am going to practice every week, and games every Sunday, and enjoying it a lot. Now, it really helps that we have two new players that rock, so we have won all three of our first games.

 

But I also feel like I am playing better, in better shape, feeling more energetic (eating optimally always does that for me), and just going with the flow.

 

The business plans are progressing so I feel like they aren't getting in the way of each other right now.

 

Things are lookin' up!