iDrumKing Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I'll be moving to the big city, Atlanta, in the next 2 weeks and as the title has stated... I'm scared. I'm 22 years old and have lived in a small town of 35k for all of my life. I've enjoyed everything that it has to offer and wouldn't choose to grow up anywhere else, but I need to venture off to something new and find bigger opportunities. With that said, I'm scared of the "unknown". I don't know the city life, people, etc. To a degree I feel a bit inferior and that I won't make new friends. I'll be living with my sister for a few months to save up for my own place, but after her wedding in May, she will be moving to Missouri, leaving me alone. Friends and family will all be back in my hometown. I'll also be leaving a developing love interest. I almost decided to cancel moving plans to stay and start this relationship with this new girl... but I had to be honest with myself and chose personal growth with the city. I'm just scared shi*less. Any advice from those who have made these types of leaps before? Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Moving home is right near the top of the list of stressful live events. You're uprooting yourself. That's scary. But you're doing it because you know you can do it. Fortune favours the bold. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tozz Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 (edited) I'll be moving to the big city, Atlanta, in the next 2 weeks and as the title has stated... I'm scared. I'm 22 years old and have lived in a small town of 35k for all of my life. I've enjoyed everything that it has to offer and wouldn't choose to grow up anywhere else, but I need to venture off to something new and find bigger opportunities. With that said, I'm scared of the "unknown". I don't know the city life, people, etc. To a degree I feel a bit inferior and that I won't make new friends. I'll be living with my sister for a few months to save up for my own place, but after her wedding in May, she will be moving to Missouri, leaving me alone. Friends and family will all be back in my hometown. I'll also be leaving a developing love interest. I almost decided to cancel moving plans to stay and start this relationship with this new girl... but I had to be honest with myself and chose personal growth with the city. I'm just scared shi*less. Any advice from those who have made these types of leaps before? Hi friend, I would be optimistic about moving to the city. I know that you might be afraid of your feelings about it, but since you cannot control your feelings, focus instead on something else. (Wow, that sounds like what a therapist would say. Mind you, I'm not one.) Anyway, I would focus on what the city has to offer, like places to go and see for entertainment, new friends you could possibly meet, and even work--what you could do in it. And like you said "personal growth," focus on that. Self-improvement is the highest faculty in my book--I can always do that. This includes making new friends, it's a skill that you always ought to attain, you just have to start by saying "hi." Think of it as an adventure. Good luck, be positive. Edited February 8, 2015 by Tozz 1 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 iDrumKing it's totally normal to feel scared sh*tless about a move away from home. On the flip side, it's very courageous and adventurous of you to do that. Plus, you have the security of living rent-free with your sister from now until her wedding in May. Use that time to get to know Atlanta and find a job, make some friends (whether that is through your sister's connections, community sports groups, church groups, Meetups). Give yourself a deadline of May to test the waters of Atlanta. If you don't like it, you can move back home. But, if within the next 3 months you find a good job and save up some money for a security deposit and rent on a studio or one bedroom apartment, then go for it! Before you know it, you'll feel calmer as you become more familiar with Atlanta and everything it has to offer. Your sister can help you get acquainted with the city too, which will make your adjustment that much easier and quicker. When I lived in Chicago that's what I did. I'd just returned from living and working abroad and wanted to move to another city / state. So I saved up some money and moved to Chicago where I know people. They helped me out by letting me stay with them for 3 months rent-free which I used to find a job, a roommate and an apartment. I lived there for a few years before I decided to move back to my home state and city. Now, I'm moving again in 6 months and am excited for it and all the changes it will bring to my life. Am I nervous like you? Of course am I. But since I've moved around a bit, I know what to expect and I know that there will be an adjustment period. I also know if I don't like my new city, I can always move back to my home state if I want to. So, don't limit your thinking too much. Like I said, give yourself a few months to adjust and get settled in with the help of your sister. Three months is long enough to know whether or no you'll like living in Atlanta. As far as your budding love interest, you can maintain a long distance relationship and see where that leads to. Don't end anything just because you move away. Relationships can and do survive the distance when both people want the same things from the relationship. It's when people's priorities change, that relationships end; whether it's long distance or close to home. Good luck with your big move! It's character building and will be an experience that will change your life in ways you can't imagine. Open your mind to new experiences and new relationships, and the world will give back to you what you give to it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted February 16, 2015 Author Share Posted February 16, 2015 Sorry for the late response. Thank you all for the kind replies and bits of advice. Thursday is the big move in day and while finishing up with moving furniture today, it's kinda sunk in just how real things are getting. As much as I "complain" about living at home with my parents, I'm going to miss them dearly. My friends are definitely up there with things I will miss. Building a new social circle sounds so difficult. As for the "love interest" I made in my OP, we both decided to end things with no hard feelings. It's not like we didn't want to try or that we we're giving up, it's just that we had a deep understanding that we wouldn't be as happy as we could be in a LDR. It just blows... Link to post Share on other sites
camillalev Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 You're about to have so much fun. It'll be stressful and potentially lonely at first but once you get jnto the groove(and you will) you're going to have a blast. Take it from someone who moved across the country to a huge city- you'll meet a ton of people and have a blast. That's what big cities are great for! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 It's an adventure! I moved from Minneapolis to Orlando a while back, and it really was a positive thing, as long as you keep an open mind! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted February 16, 2015 Author Share Posted February 16, 2015 It's an adventure! I moved from Minneapolis to Orlando a while back, and it really was a positive thing, as long as you keep an open mind! How and how long did it take for you to rebuild a social circle? Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 It's an adventure! I moved from Minneapolis to Orlando a while back, and it really was a positive thing, as long as you keep an open mind! Hey Im from Minneapolis and thought about moving to Florida. I didn't because I was afraid it would be 100% different as far as access to cultural things. I have a stereotype of Florida being just hicks and tourist traps. Please tell me I'm wrong? I wanted to move to California but it's 18% more expensive to live there than here in Minnesota. It's not a commuter state as far as public transportation goes, I hear that sucks bad. And good luck getting a studio or one bedroom to rent in a decent neighborhood that's under $1K. Plus, there are earthquakes and a water shortage drought so that's pretty scary. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 How and how long did it take for you to rebuild a social circle? How long it takes you to build a social circle depends on you and the people you befriend. For it to happen naturally, it could take a few months to really get to know people. When I lived in China it only took me a couple of months. When I lived in Chicago, it took me about 6 months to find a solid group of friends. There is no exact timeline for friendship building when you move to a new state. Making new friends depends on many factors aligning and it just takes time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted February 17, 2015 Author Share Posted February 17, 2015 How long it takes you to build a social circle depends on you and the people you befriend. For it to happen naturally, it could take a few months to really get to know people. When I lived in China it only took me a couple of months. When I lived in Chicago, it took me about 6 months to find a solid group of friends. There is no exact timeline for friendship building when you move to a new state. Making new friends depends on many factors aligning and it just takes time. I totally see where you're coming from. My hope is that I'm not gobbled up and spit out in the first couple of weeks lol. I'm great with new people, but I'm not so great with the icebreakers for a decent conversation. I usually hope that a subject gets brought up that I can work off of. I guess I have this premature idea that most city people are snobby/stand-offish? Being a people pleaser all my life I want to get everyones' approval. I'm a great guy and can be the best friend you've ever had. Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 I totally see where you're coming from. My hope is that I'm not gobbled up and spit out in the first couple of weeks lol. I'm great with new people, but I'm not so great with the icebreakers for a decent conversation. I usually hope that a subject gets brought up that I can work off of. I guess I have this premature idea that most city people are snobby/stand-offish? Being a people pleaser all my life I want to get everyones' approval. I'm a great guy and can be the best friend you've ever had. Just be yourself - always. People (the right people) will like you for who YOU are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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