Jump to content

I made a mistake but she wants to explore options


ElliotPiano

Recommended Posts

Me and my girlfriend were dating for 4 months before she went to college and we started a 7 month LDR and at the beginning of January I told her I wanted to take a break because I want to focus on applying to college and want to reduce the skype time. She took it as a break in which I didn't plan on coming back (that is my fault for leaving it at that and not explaining to her what I meant). Two weeks after the “breakup”, I did a really dumb thing and texted her criticizing her about what she said about me to her friends. Later that week I couldn't cope anymore and I called her at night and had a panic attack while trying to get her to take me back, she kept saying that we'll always be together even as friends (which my parents says is a defense mechanism), and I couldn't handle that thought. After the panic attack I really got over things, and with no emotion, I agreed to a breakup and I told her “You do you and I do me” and we’ll see if our paths brings us back together. She says she wants to explore her other options and I feel like the long distance will permanently keep her from considering me. I haven’t talked to her in 2 weeks, but I feel like I can’t do no contact now because I mutually agreed to a breakup. I still really love her (I also can’t get over the fact that we lost our virginity to each other) and want to be with her! I’m sorry that I hurt her, but she won’t take what I say seriously and I’m worried that she’ll move on just because I hurt her and throw away the connection we had. I’m willing to do anything, even if it means flying up there, but she told me to cancel my ticket. What do I do?

Edited by ElliotPiano
Link to post
Share on other sites
I told her “You do you and I do me” and we’ll see if our paths brings us back together.

 

^ I would do this, exactly as you said. Take some time apart, go NC and see what happens. The distance is tough in any circumstance, but especially at such a young age. She wants her freedom. You don't give it to her, and she is going to begin to resent you and that does you no good.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

If I put effort into exploring and it doesn't work out for me in the next year or two, do I tell her that I want to get back together and ask what her decision is, or do I just wait for her to contact me?

Link to post
Share on other sites
If I put effort into exploring and it doesn't work out for me in the next year or two, do I tell her that I want to get back together and ask what her decision is, or do I just wait for her to contact me?

 

The things you write here demonstrate that you are extremely irrational, unstable, motivated by panic, and generally not someone a girl can feel confident with.

 

She gets it. she understand perfectly well your situation, and i believe it scares her. She doesn't want all that drama.

 

So if you want a chance with her, the only way is to let go. This will be a good exercise for you for the long run, to learn how to control your emotions, or at least to control your behavior.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...