Gaming

[Inlovewithabrit]

Okay so I have posted on here about my LDB and about his job situation. Though this is something else that I just do not know if I am being over the boat with or not.

 

Seeing how since he lives in the UK and me myself lives in the US the distance between us is pretty far. As well since I work almost 12 hour shifts each day, communicating is pretty hard.

 

So I only ask from him to take two hours out of his gaming time to Skype with me. Which is about 4 PM mountain time, and 11 PM his time. He used to want to do it all the time, (keep in mind we have only been together for five months now). But when I ask him he will say I cant, or I am busy, or I just do not feel like it. Ill ask him what he is doing and he will say, I am just playing my game, (Skyrim). Or sometimes Battlefield. So I kind of get offended, like I see it as he would rather play that then talk to me?, especially since we hardly get to talk as it is. So I am now at the point where I just do not feel like texting him, (KIK). Or asking to Skype.

 

Am I being overdramatic about this? Should I just let it go and accept he would rather game then talk to me?

 

Any advice would be appreciated. Since I have never dated a gamer before, im in hopes maybe someone from here has?

 

Also on a note, I have played the Xbox with him, that's how we actually meet, .

 

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

[emi]

Can i ask why you are still being stubborn?

You made another thread before saying he wont find job to come to you, and we did tell you to end it with him. Now you made another one saying more about how he doesnt give a rat ass about you. What exactly you wanting to hear? Reality is his love for you is lower than playing a game.

I am a hardcore gamer. Sure, when i play i dont really focus on chatting. But if i got an appointment i.e skyping with my loved one, sure i wont be on game and totally focused. So no, dont blame the game, blame the player

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay so I have posted on here about my LDB and about his job situation. Though this is something else that I just do not know if I am being over the boat with or not.

 

Seeing how since he lives in the UK and me myself lives in the US the distance between us is pretty far. As well since I work almost 12 hour shifts each day, communicating is pretty hard.

 

So I only ask from him to take two hours out of his gaming time to Skype with me. Which is about 4 PM mountain time, and 11 PM his time. He used to want to do it all the time, (keep in mind we have only been together for five months now). But when I ask him he will say I cant, or I am busy, or I just do not feel like it. Ill ask him what he is doing and he will say, I am just playing my game, (Skyrim). Or sometimes Battlefield. So I kind of get offended, like I see it as he would rather play that then talk to me?, especially since we hardly get to talk as it is. So I am now at the point where I just do not feel like texting him, (KIK). Or asking to Skype.

 

Am I being overdramatic about this? Should I just let it go and accept he would rather game then talk to me?

 

Any advice would be appreciated. Since I have never dated a gamer before, im in hopes maybe someone from here has?

 

Also on a note, I have played the Xbox with him, that's how we actually meet, .

 

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

[Inlovewithabrit]

Thank you again for your input. I guess I am just holding onto hope. I know what I need to do. I have never been in a LDR before. Really am unsure how to handle situations when the person is not physically here. Thanks again for the advice, .

[Pawstruck]

I'm a gamer too, and one of two things is happening here:

 

99% sure it's that he realizes that his relationship with you is going nowhere and you need to end it because he doesn't care any more. Also, you should prepare yourself for the possibility that he's cheating, because long-distance people do that sometimes.

 

1% possibility he's a total gaming addict who can't prioritize relationships over lines of code, in which case you need to end it.

 

This isn't "hope" you have... it's silliness. Let him go.

[Inlovewithabrit]

I know that I will need to let him go. It is hard because I thought it was all real. He is a total gamer, I know he is not cheating, and I know this is going to seem sad and pathetic but I can check xbox live on my phone and when I do he is ALWAYS on it. Which is funny, because when he "can" get on xbox is when he cannot Skype with me. So I am getting over it. Thanks for the advice everybody, . Time to move on haha

[teaspoon]

A possibility is that he has an addiction to gaming. He may have thought that getting into a relationship with you would be easier than a RL person, because you and him could game together.

 

If i've learned anything though, men aren't very upfront about their feelings or intentions (sorry men). So if there is a problem, they usually won't say anything and will start acting differently. Remember that actions speak louder than words.

[Blehh]

I'm a gamer too, and one of two things is happening here:

 

99% sure it's that he realizes that his relationship with you is going nowhere and you need to end it because he doesn't care any more. Also, you should prepare yourself for the possibility that he's cheating, because long-distance people do that sometimes.

 

1% possibility he's a total gaming addict who can't prioritize relationships over lines of code, in which case you need to end it.

 

This isn't "hope" you have... it's silliness. Let him go.

 

Towards the end of my LDR, this basically happened. (cheating sort of thing)

 

I honestly suggest you end it before it gets worse and you're left heartbroken. I know you're being stubborn, op, I've been in your shoes and 100% know how you feel. If he can't put in time to be with you then the relationship won't go anywhere. Once you start noticing the distance emotionally, I don't want to necessarily say he might be cheating but it could probably just be lack of interest for the relationship anymore, too.

I used to game with my ex all the time, it was our fun thing to do & we'd skype, hell we even met because of a certain game forum & it all grew from there. Once I noticed he started making excuses for skyping and would literally ignore me but still get on the game, obviously I could tell something was wrong.

 

Don't give these kinds of people the excuse to treat you like crap. Know you're worth more and you don't deserve any kind of ignoring or disregarding of your feelings.

[Els]

 

So I only ask from him to take two hours out of his gaming time to Skype with me. Which is about 4 PM mountain time, and 11 PM his time. He used to want to do it all the time, (keep in mind we have only been together for five months now).

 

Okay, I'm of two minds here. On the one hand, I don't think he is handling this well, and if he never bothers to talk to you then that is obviously problematic. In LDRs the main thing that keeps the bond strong is communication - if that is missing then there is really nothing left.

 

But I do also think your expectations are unrealistic. It is not feasible in the long term for couples to spend two hours every single day doing nothing except talking to each other. Sure, in the beginning it can happen, but it's not something that you should expect and try to mandate for the rest of the relationship. A more realistic expectation for the long term would be maybe 10-20 minutes a day of dedicated conversation, and the rest of the time just leaving Skype on and doing whatever, talking occasionally.