Nuno2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 (edited) Hi guys! I'm 33 years old, and my "girlfriend" is 48. We've been togheter for almost 5 years, and probably we will marry in October. She used to be a very hot woman, with much sex desire. Sometimes even more then me. I even said to myself "she just want's to f***". Well, now, we have it like once in 2 weeks... This last year was like this, going down. Ok, we don't have as much peace as before, we fight more. In reality, I don't want to fight, I just wan't to be heard, just need to say what is on my mind, what bothers me. And she just can't stand it, she says I'm acting like a victim, and wanting paybacks. What should I do to make her wanting me again? She says it's not me, it's her: her age, and also her astrological map. Ok, I understand. But don't you think she should try? I feel rejected when I do my part, when I try to make my moves, and she just says "No, I want to sleep" in a cold way, not caring about my needs and felings. Were is the woman that took of her panties the first time I kissed her, and jumped on me on a 69 on the 3rd time we had sex? She was wild. Man, now nothing. I'm feeling desires of watching porn, a lot these last weeks, and even think on breaking up, but I love her, she's awesome. How to turn on a woman? Edited February 6, 2015 by Nuno2015 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 stop acting like the victim? what is it you argue about? housework? money? what? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 She needs to go to her doctor and have her hormones level checked. At her age she probably pre-menopausal and no amount of talking is going to convince her to sleep with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Find someone your age with a similar sex drive. The newness of your relationship is gone, and your lady has likely settled into her normal libido. With this age difference, dont expect you two to be on the same page, especially as time moves on. Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 She got you sucka. Sounds like the whirlwind beginning has finally settled into a dull eerie breeze. Look, don't marry this woman if you're unhappy with this...the bottom line is she isn't going to feel she needs to justify anything to you, she's just going to expect you to accept it and find other ways to make you feel guilty over it. What's funny to me, is that what was good enough when she met you isn't good enough now. So basically people are going to criticize you and tell you how badly your behavior was and has been...which is the "cause" of why you aren't getting sex when the woman didn't give a damn the whole time until now...but, no it's your behavior NOW...because THAT makes sense. Should have never been good enough to begin with if you ask me. Anyway, just move on from this woman...you're young enough to date younger and older women, you don't need a 48 year old. Use your "youth" while you have it, or simply lose it fighting over this likely incompatible relationship. Just because a woman has sex with you and wants it all the time in the beginning...doesn't mean it had anything to do with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nuno2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 We argue about stupid, simple, silly thing's such as, the other day I was sick and was going to stay in bed, she did a lot of noise at home, and also her son. I was upset, but kept quiet. Later a complete unnecessary phone call of her waked me up, all of this after a really bad night with almost no sleep. later she was pressuring me to make dinner... and i just said I was sad with this lack of respect and caring. I she was upset with this, yelled at me, saying lot's of stuff about me. Ok, it feels odd to be tipping this crap. She just doesn't allow me to make any complaints. Guys, she's awesome as a person, she is the woman I was looking for, all my life. Even in terms of sex, amaizing, the best. It's hard to think that we will definately stop having sex at least 3 times a week (perfect for me). I still hope that time will come, it was like this 1 year ago. I like to make love, she likes to f*** , I mean to her making love is f**'in, she likes it hot. Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 You've been together for 5 years...it's not going backwards, the best years are likely behind you. Now is the phase where many women just expect things to gradually decline and settle into a mode of stability and relative peace...and this means you not whining or complaining and making them feel badly about what they don't want. You sound a bit immature and obsessed with the sex situation, and you seem to be really sensitive and easily controlled/influenced by what she says, she seems to have the control and be the dominant partner...it's possible she's just getting tired of it and consequently turned-off. But you're still living in the past...you need to address your relationship issues for anything to improve at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I guess she is no longer emotionally connected with him, for whatever reason, so now sees sex as a chore. This is not necessarily her age nor she has settled into her so called "normal" libido. She has lost her desire to have sex WITH HIM and that is what he needs to address. What IS he saying that bothers him, that causes the fights between them? What has actually turned her off? Is it the sex itself or is it growing resentment about her life in the partnership? Nothing kills desire quicker than resentment, bitterness and unhappiness. Without the newness of the relationship is the sex a bit dull, a bit mundane, a bit like he is carrying out a bodily function, is it no longer fun or does it no longer feel like "making love". Whining for sex is such a huge turn off too. He needs to work on the emotional attachment, firm up the relationship, make her feel wanted, and not make her feel like she is just some place to dump his stuff when he gets horny or feel she has to perform to order. Is his looking at porn turning her off; 48 years old - she may be having doubts about her attractiveness and feels she cannot compete with porn stars. Does she have a medical problem is sex actually painful as that would halt desire too, depression, hormonal imbalance, poor self esteem, can cause lack of libido too if that is what she is actually suffering from. BUT long in depth chats are in order here, not just about the sex but where she sees this relationship heading. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 BUT long in depth chats are in order here, not just about the sex but where she sees this relationship heading. Well, actually, no. I've learned that when a woman says that her astrological map makes her not want a man, then this attitude is fixed in the stars and it is immutable in the long-term. He needs to listen, and bail without discussion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Well, actually, no. I've learned that when a woman says that her astrological map makes her not want a man, then this attitude is fixed in the stars and it is immutable in the long-term. He needs to listen, and bail without discussion. OK, I forgot about the stars... LOL! Yes, that does put a different spin on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nuno2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 Well, actually, no. I've learned that when a woman says that her astrological map makes her not want a man, then this attitude is fixed in the stars and it is immutable in the long-term. He needs to listen, and bail without discussion. Thank you very much for your replies. Actually she told me she found this lack of libido weird, so that's why she taught to this very good vedic astrologist, which I know and trust, who saw this astrological moment. There are some vedic prayers she's starting to do in order to minimize the effects of this planets. I know it sounds weird for most of you, but for us, that work in a field somewhat close to this, is something that we just know to be true. So she actually is starting to make an effort for this to change. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 There are some vedic prayers she's starting to do in order to minimize the effects of this planets. I know it sounds weird for most of you, but for us, that work in a field somewhat close to this, is something that we just know to be true. this bears repeating to minimize the effects of the planetsI take it back. You're perfect for each other. Weird is an understatement. I'm curious. What field of endeavor is close to astrology? Casting chicken bones? That was probably a little rude, but seriously. What field is that? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nuno2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 " She has lost her desire to have sex WITH HIM and that is what he needs to address. " resentment about her life in the partnership? Nothing kills desire quicker than resentment, bitterness and unhappiness. Whining for sex is such a huge turn off too. He needs to work on the emotional attachment" Well, I really hope not, that she hasn't lost completly the desire for sex with me. Maybe it's just me refusing that reality, but she also refuses it, she says it's not that, not me, it's her drive for sex. Please be carefull when you make a statement like that, cause you look so sure, and you can negatively influence a person which is an emocional down state. To me it's ok, I thank you for replying, but again don't be so sure. You are right about resentment. I know it's that. The thing is I also feel resentment, which is the cause of our fights, but what I feel for her, and my desire for her stays the same. She is the most interesting and sexy woman I I can separate what is a fight due to our emotions and thoughts, our personalities, and what is our Love, what we had and want to have. I don't want to fight, but to talk, and it's hard to make her realise my points of view. But even after that, I can hold her, hug her and say I want us to be ok, I don't want to fight you. Yes, I need to work on this attachment. Before I was the man, you know, I was like in a restaurant, or a bar with friends relaxing and she was always kissing me, and arousing me. Now it's me, asking for a kiss, a hug, etc. I have to stop acting like this, but this feeling of loosing her makes me want to grab her. Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nuno2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 this bears repeating I take it back. You're perfect for each other. Weird is an understatement. I'm curious. What field of endeavor is close to astrology? Casting chicken bones? That was probably a little rude, but seriously. What field is that? LOL "Casting chicken bones?" To say close is to say it wrong. We work with pranic healing, aura reading and we are in contact with persons that work seriously in astrology. And in the Vedic Astrology traditon, there is a serie of pratices, like chanting mantras and prayers that actualy helps. A lot. But you need to have faith. So,not trying to convince you, just saying what it is. Before meeting serious people on this matters, I was also suspicious. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 LOL "Casting chicken bones?" To say close is to say it wrong. We work with pranic healing, aura reading and we are in contact with persons that work seriously in astrology. And in the Vedic Astrology traditon, there is a serie of pratices, like chanting mantras and prayers that actualy helps. A lot. But you need to have faith. So,not trying to convince you, just saying what it is. Before meeting serious people on this matters, I was also suspicious. As to the chanting, prayers and all that, I can see how that could influence someone, because they are making an effort to change themselves. I see this as far more likely than words or thoughts somehow affecting an invisible and unmeasurable connection between certain planets and a person. Gravity is the closest thing I can think of that describes that invisible relationship between planets and a person, but of course, gravity is measurable, and is not affected by words or thoughts, to the dismay of many dieters. Ordinarily, I try not to get involved in what people believe, but sometimes it's just so far out there that I can't keep my mouth shut. Please forgive me. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I've no idea about astrology but I do know that I was in a RS for 14 years and the sex never dwindled like that for us. All those years we were a 3 times a week minimum couple. We rarely argued, had a lot of respect for each other and communicated well. We shared chores etc equally or when one of us was extra busy with life the other would compensate. We also had date nights regularly. How often do you date her OP? How often do you 'not sweat the small stuff' so that you can have a nice day or evening together rather that start or react to a fight. Living in harmony is about controlling your own reactions (we are all able to do this) and being aware of what is worth arguing over and what just isn't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nuno2015 Posted November 5, 2016 Author Share Posted November 5, 2016 I should had read this 1,5 year ago, didn't realise this answer. Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
TheTraveler Posted November 6, 2016 Share Posted November 6, 2016 You're 33. I'd drop her and go pound someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
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