bessiemk Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Hi i met this guy at work. We really do not speak anything else except work related matters. He is married and i am too (still, going thru separation). Sometime ago i started noticing him more and more and staring. Of course i like to look at a guy that is cute...but then he noticed...and the flirt started...i have never flirted with anyone like this, i am a bit shy on this and i cannot stare at anyone. But with him i cannot stop looking and i see myself changing my work stations so i can be with him. We look so much in each other eyes, we smile and it is a moment like i have never experienced. We do not talk a lot as i said. And i got him sometimes looking at me while i was busy...He bites his lips and the other day he just put his had on my shoulder and just squeezed it and no need to say i was ...I go talk to him and i cannot even say anything cause we start staring and i can feel we would like to do it longer but we just can't, too many people around. Besides that, he does not look for me or anything. I know he is busy but a guy that is interested does his share of work ah? Well he is married and this can be a lot of problems for me cause it is at work...maybe i am being naive, i do not have a lot of experience on these matters but...i just wonder what is he thinking... Any help? Thanks a lot... Link to post Share on other sites
LoverOfDance Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 HE IS MARRRIED!!! That's why he's not making any moves. My God, I'm really trying not to judge you right now. What is your problem?? Leave him alone and find someone else! There are so many handsome and amazing men out there. Why do you choose to go for one who you KNOW is MARRIED? I really don't get it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bessiemk Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 (edited) Yeah i know he is married and i think i just want to know someone likes me as i am going thru a vulnerable time. Anyway he is married and i am just wondering why is he doing it too. I started by looking just for fun and it was supposed to be just my own thing..i mean, i look at men but that doesn't mean they will do it back. but i got this confused when he started doing it too and i got now hooked on it...and believe me, u can judge me cause i am doing it to myself. All that goes in my head is exactly that. But somehow i just want to know if i am liked or not...sad... Edited February 6, 2015 by bessiemk Link to post Share on other sites
LoverOfDance Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Of course he likes you. If you're both staring at each other and looking deep into each other's eyes and doing all that stuff then he's definitely attracted to you. Doesn't mean he plans on taking it further though. Although if you make a move, he might actually just go with the flow and give you what you want since he wants it too anyways. BUT, there is a 99% chance that he will not leave his wife for you. I would advise you to let it go. Affairs are usually heartbreaking. And the one who usually gets hurt is the "other woman". Find someone else. Believe me, it is not worth it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 As you said, you're going through a vulnerable time and you're seeking validation that you can still attract someone -- but it would not be fair to disrupt a marriage simply because you are needing an ego boost for a rebound situation!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 If you want an ego boost stick to single people. That's just basic decency. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bessiemk Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 Please do not judge me. I am aware of the situation but i just cannot avoid feeling confused and sad and desperate of course. I will have to let it go of course. But i wanted to know others opinion too....pity the situation is as it is:( Link to post Share on other sites
Author bessiemk Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 thank so much for your answer. And thank you for not judging me and giving me a good advice. I appreciate it. Believe me, i am really surprised that i can even think about being with a married man. I just found him really cute, but i was not obviously prepared that he would do it too. it completely took me for surprise and now i am a nerve wreck... Link to post Share on other sites
Author bessiemk Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 Of course he likes you. If you're both staring at each other and looking deep into each other's eyes and doing all that stuff then he's definitely attracted to you. Doesn't mean he plans on taking it further though. Although if you make a move, he might actually just go with the flow and give you what you want since he wants it too anyways. BUT, there is a 99% chance that he will not leave his wife for you. I would advise you to let it go. Affairs are usually heartbreaking. And the one who usually gets hurt is the "other woman". Find someone else. Believe me, it is not worth it. thank so much for your answer. And thank you for not judging me and giving me a good advice. I appreciate it. Believe me, i am really surprised that i can even think about being with a married man. I just found him really cute, but i was not obviously prepared that he would flirt with me too. it completely took me by surprise and now i am a nerve wreck... Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Yeah i know he is married and i think i just want to know someone likes me as i am going thru a vulnerable time. Anyway he is married and i am just wondering why is he doing it too. I started by looking just for fun and it was supposed to be just my own thing..i mean, i look at men but that doesn't mean they will do it back. but i got this confused when he started doing it too and i got now hooked on it...and believe me, u can judge me cause i am doing it to myself. All that goes in my head is exactly that. But somehow i just want to know if i am liked or not...sad... Start by liking yourself first. Then you won't play second fiddle to another man's wife 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kamila Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 When a guy I could be potentially interested in is engaged, married or has a girlfriend, I draw a wall up high. The guy may find it annoying, but that's how it works. If you're taken, then I'm also. If he's not taken, that's something else ... You keep your distance because you're the person who has the most to lose here. Beware, he could be taking advantage of you. You responding to his flirting is a sign you could give in into him. You're his side-dish. Someone he can spend some good time with. He's married... let him go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bessiemk Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 i guess you are all right. I was the one starting the staring...i never even considered it flirting cause i was just admiring a cute guy... then he saw he had a change to get me as a 'side-dish' probably... Thanks a lot everyone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bessiemk Posted February 12, 2015 Author Share Posted February 12, 2015 well, for everyone's relieve, he/we stop looking. He stopped doing all. I can see he gets a little nervous but no looks. Doesn't try to see or come close or anything else. Maybe he was just having fun and saw that i was so interested that kinda lost the interest. Or that he just thought this is too much. Whatever it was, we do not look. We do not contact. Briefly we exchange words. Not sure what happened. No, do not take me wrong, but if a guy is trying to get you and see that he can get, why not continue? if he is trying to use me that is. It was fun before, even if i knew nothing would happen. Now it is just weird. Which is weird.... Anyway, over. Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 Marriage is huge - my best advice is to WAIT. At least a couple months after the divorce is final. You need that time to recollect your thoughts and feel comfortable by yourself. Don't rush into anything. Link to post Share on other sites
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