Involved with a married woman and can't stop

[autumnnight]

We do very very dumb things when we are reeling with grief. Then those dumb things become the wall we use to keep from facing the grief. Then the grief becomes so scary we are terrified to get rid of that wall.

 

But you have to. You HAVE to. Think about the crushing agony you felt when your wife died. That is very similar to what this man is going to feel when he realizes (and he will find out) that the two of you have killed his marriage.

 

This seems simplistic, but if I were you, I would send her an email and end things cleanly. Not a rambling love note. An "I am sorry, this is wrong. Do not contact me again." email. Than change or block any possible form of communication. Don't answer your door if it is her. Get into IC as soon as possible, and a grief group.

 

Then grieve. For real.

 

You will get through it. It will suck a lot. But you will get through it.

 

And when you are healthy, you will find someone who is right for you at the right time and in the right way.

 

And your precious wife will look down and smile at you.

[cinque423]

We do very very dumb things when we are reeling with grief. Then those dumb things become the wall we use to keep from facing the grief. Then the grief becomes so scary we are terrified to get rid of that wall.

 

But you have to. You HAVE to. Think about the crushing agony you felt when your wife died. That is very similar to what this man is going to feel when he realizes (and he will find out) that the two of you have killed his marriage.

 

This seems simplistic, but if I were you, I would send her an email and end things cleanly. Not a rambling love note. An "I am sorry, this is wrong. Do not contact me again." email. Than change or block any possible form of communication. Don't answer your door if it is her. Get into IC as soon as possible, and a grief group.

 

Then grieve. For real.

 

You will get through it. It will suck a lot. But you will get through it.

 

And when you are healthy, you will find someone who is right for you at the right time and in the right way.

 

And your precious wife will look down and smile at you.

 

Very, very dumb indeed.

 

Not only have we been having great sex but I've been giving her money and hasn't thought anything of it. It hasn't been a lot, $2,500 here, $3,000 there. I have a good job and no longer have a wife, I am single. I work as an engineer. Betty knew about my job from my wife.

 

That plus the good sex is probably why when we tried to break-up it didn't last. She would call or come by my house. I was out of town for my job once and when I came back from a meeting, she was in my hotel room. Was holding her ankles and had her legs spread wide on the hotel bed. Saying "Come to me, you know you miss it, come get it."

 

That was the end of our break-up. We kept that hotel room for two days after my business trip was over. It was just her and I for the whole two days.

 

I will probably have to move from here all together to truly break it off from her.

[autumnnight]

Very, very dumb indeed.

 

Not only have we been having great sex but I've been giving her money and hasn't thought anything of it. It hasn't been a lot, $2,500 here, $3,000 there. I have a good job and no longer have a wife, I am single. I work as an engineer. Betty knew about my job from my wife.

 

That plus the good sex is probably why when we tried to break-up it didn't last. She would call or come by my house. I was out of town for my job once and when I came back from a meeting, she was in my hotel room. Was holding her ankles and had her legs spread wide on the hotel bed. Saying "Come to me, you know you miss it, come get it."

 

That was the end of our break-up. We kept that hotel room for two days after my business trip was over. It was just her and I for the whole two days.

 

I will probably have to move from here all together to truly break it off from her.

 

Honestly, she sounds almost like a stalker. This would worry me. This makes me even more sure this should end asap. And change the locks.

[CarrieT]

I've been giving her money and hasn't thought anything of it. It hasn't been a lot, $2,500 here, $3,000 there.

Not a lot to you might be a lot to her...

 

No wonder she keeps coming after you.

 

I was going to say that $2.5k is not chump change, but in your case, perhaps it is...

[Realist3]

My question is this, do you start to stress out or feel guilty being with another man's wife??? This is new territory for me because I used to ALWAYS respect the marriage vows and would NEVER even think of sleeping with another man's wife. Hell, I was married for 10 years myself yet for some reason I'm ok with this.

 

The very nature of this question... A man worried about whether he will feel guilt or stress at some point in the future.

 

Why on earth would you be worried about that? You don't have any, so what's prob?

[Pretywoman]

Lol I think Rainbow is right.. you are doing good..

why feel the guilt after long 3 years..

I felt guilty to my husband when I first had sex to my ap..

[CrystalShine2011]

Great story - is there a question? I've been on both ends and I can tell you: if her husband finds out it will not be pretty. A good idea might be to end it, and find someone that is single. Start fresh. It will be a good thing.

[Rainbowlove]

Not only have we been having great sex but I've been giving her money and hasn't thought anything of it. It hasn't been a lot, $2,500 here, $3,000 there. I have a good job and no longer have a wife, I am single. I work as an engineer. Betty knew about my job from my wife.

 

She's using you.

 

She knows if she spreads her legs, you are a sucker. Man, the power of wussy with a P.

 

She opens her legs, you open your check book.

 

Close both and move on.