persevere Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 We broke up, with her saying she needed space but cryptically saying we could still see each other. I got a message 5 days later from her saying "I hope you are okay". I didn't respond. Thoughts as to why someone would do this? Link to post Share on other sites
Mi7522 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 She's giving you breadcrumbs to boost her ego. Ignore it and continue NC 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Cedar27 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 (edited) We broke up, with her saying she needed space but cryptically saying we could still see each other. I got a message 5 days later from her saying "I hope you are okay". I didn't respond. Thoughts as to why someone would do this? Tell her you don't want to talk to her again unless she is willing to give the relationship another shot. We can spend all day trying to be a mind reader, trying to uncover the true meaning behind this text, etc. Waste of time. If you want to get back with her i'd suggest letting HER come back to you. Also, ask yourself what YOU did to cause the break up/push her away, and work on those deficiencies. Or else when if guys get back together, it will go right back to square one again. Edited February 6, 2015 by Cedar27 Link to post Share on other sites
Mi7522 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Tell her you don't want to talk to her again unless she is willing to give the relationship another shot. We can spend all day trying to be a mind reader, trying to uncover the true meaning behind this text, etc. Waste of time. If you want to get back with her i'd suggest letting HER come back to you. Also, ask yourself what YOU did to cause the break up/push her away, and work on those deficiencies. Or else when if guys get back together, it will go right back to square one again. WHAT? Please do not listen to this advice. She at the very least was emontionally cheating on you, chances are she is/was. YOU did not cause this break up she did. TBH leave this alone, even if you asked for her to come back you would just be a doormat to her. Please continue NC 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cedar27 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 (edited) WHAT? Please do not listen to this advice. She at the very least was emontionally cheating on you, chances are she is/was. YOU did not cause this break up she did. TBH leave this alone, even if you asked for her to come back you would just be a doormat to her. Please continue NC The OP's post was like a few sentences….what evidence do you have she was "at the very least emotionally cheating". The judgements that people make here on so little information is increasingly ridiculous. I mean, does this guy have another thread or something? What am I missing here? I also agree with you that he should go NC but make it clear that he can't be friends with her. That's never a good idea. He wouldn't be asking her to come back either, he would be saying to her they are either going to work on their relationship together, or just be apart because staying in contact is not a good idea. Also while he is broken up he should ask himself how he may have contributed to the break up. Many times both parties contribute to a break up, that's pretty well established. So OP should look inward and see if there's anything he can do better the next time he's in a relationship. I mean you are so quick to judge OP's ex and say she was cheating without evidence, what if OP himself was a bad boyfriend to her? What if was verbally abusive to her, talking to other women inappropriately, etc and that caused her to leave? Why don't you make that leap about him? You make lots of other leaps, try directing it at the dumpee and see how stupid it sounds. Also, try to remember this is the second chance forum. People come here who are considering reconciliation. The "you're dead to me forever" cult gathers in the other sub forums. Edited February 7, 2015 by Cedar27 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author persevere Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 (edited) Perhaps I didn't make it clear and I apologize. I did put up another post under the cheating section (cheating with her boss). However, I felt she was cheating on me but had no proof. Things were going very well. Spent xmas together. Met my family, etc. Then..poof. A breakup. saying "there's a problem". "I need space" ... very cryptic. Yes, there were things I could have done differently, for sure. I was not perfect, but I had not done anything to her that would really warrant a breakup in my mind. I was curious as to why she would even bother with that text. She did break up with me. But to send a text 5 days later was rather odd, thinking she may want another chance, etc. I am continuing with NC but it has been hard.... Edited February 7, 2015 by persevere Link to post Share on other sites
Cedar27 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Perhaps I didn't make it clear and I apologize. I did put up another post under the cheating section (cheating with her boss). However, I felt she was cheating on me but had no proof. Things were going very well. Spent xmas together. Met my family, etc. Then..poof. A breakup. saying "there's a problem". "I need space" ... very cryptic. I was curious as to why she would even bother. She did break up with me. But to send a text 5 days later was rather odd, thinking she may want another chance, etc. I am continuing with NC but it has been hard. Yeah I was unaware of any other thread…so I was surprised that others would suspect cheating automatically. There are no easy answers man. Although NC is a very good way for people to get over others, and heal themselves…its not always a one sized fits all answer to those wanting reconciliation. Although admittedly a long cooling off period with little to no contact after a break up is almost always needed. What ever came of the whole cheating thing? Also what is it that you want out of the two of you from this point forward? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Take two of the following and call me in a few months: - Become a ghost to her. - Do not check up on her in anyway possible. She's dead to you. Yes, she cheated. Next. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 (edited) NC is best for you. "I hope you are okay" doesn't mean anything, only that she doesn't respect you at all, because a decent girl should understand that after she dumped you, those meaningless texts can hurt and confuse you, so she should have been a little more respectful. She isn't. She just cares about herself. Edited February 7, 2015 by lolablue17 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author persevere Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 NC is best for you. "I hope you are okay" doesn't mean anything, only that she doesn't respect you at all, because a decent girl should understand that after she dumped you, those meaningless texts can hurt hurt and confuse you, so she should have be a little more respectful. She isn't. She just cares about herself. True. I got this text on the day she returned to work after the holiday break. Her cohorts, who I met at their xmas party and got along with well, were probably all asking her about things. She may have had 'some' guilt and her boss probably told her to try to smooth things over so I wouldn't stir things up and tell his wife, etc. It seems like he was pulling a lot of strings with her. Link to post Share on other sites
jake2495 Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 if you want to reply go for it. just be careful. she may want to reconnect but she may also be doing it out of guilt. if i was you i would text her and see where it goes! hope it goes well for you!! Link to post Share on other sites
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