Photos

[sophinla]

Was_strong,

I am in your wife's shoes. I am very strong, smart and capable. I work in a competitive enviroment dominated by strong men, and I kick ass. I'm married, have a beautiful family and a great husband.

 

Sexually I'm very submissive. I watch bdsm porn. I post pictures online. I learn and I explore. As the years go by I'm slowly discovering my sexuality. After all we are living in the digital age, and it is so easy to be in tune.

 

There are two things I will NEVER do. First is I will never have bdsm sex with my husband. It is hard to explain, but I do not want him to dominate me, ever. I want us to be at the same level. Giving him the power in the bedroom may and probably will mean relinquishing some of the power in everyday living.

 

Second is I will never have sex with another man. I love my family and my husband. I enjoy my fantasies but that's where it ends. I have self control. I have morals. I will never do anything in reality to hurt my family. My husband knows of my fantasies and online activities. He understands and trusts me. He leaves me alone.

 

Everyone is different. I have no idea how far your wife takes her fantasy. I just think you should give her the benefit of doubt. I know many women do have bdsm fantasies. If she has been a good mother and a good wife, I don't see why she can't have a little fun with her fantasies.

 

Not posting this to get judged. This is solely for Was_strong to understand things from another angle.

[beach]

Was_strong,

I am in your wife's shoes. I am very strong, smart and capable. I work in a competitive enviroment dominated by strong men, and I kick ass. I'm married, have a beautiful family and a great husband.

 

Sexually I'm very submissive. I watch bdsm porn. I post pictures online. I learn and I explore. As the years go by I'm slowly discovering my sexuality. After all we are living in the digital age, and it is so easy to be in tune.

 

There are two things I will NEVER do. First is I will never have bdsm sex with my husband. It is hard to explain, but I do not want him to dominate me, ever. I want us to be at the same level. Giving him the power in the bedroom may and probably will mean relinquishing some of the power in everyday living.

 

Second is I will never have sex with another man. I love my family and my husband. I enjoy my fantasies but that's where it ends. I have self control. I have morals. I will never do anything in reality to hurt my family. My husband knows of my fantasies and online activities. He understands and trusts me. He leaves me alone.

 

Everyone is different. I have no idea how far your wife takes her fantasy. I just think you should give her the benefit of doubt. I know many women do have bdsm fantasies. If she has been a good mother and a good wife, I don't see why she can't have a little fun with her fantasies.

 

Not posting this to get judged. This is solely for Was_strong to understand things from another angle.

 

Totally different Soph - mainly because she's been completely dishonest by leaving her husband in the dark yet doing this behind his back.

[Spectre]

Was_strong,

I am in your wife's shoes. I am very strong, smart and capable. I work in a competitive enviroment dominated by strong men, and I kick ass. I'm married, have a beautiful family and a great husband.

 

Sexually I'm very submissive. I watch bdsm porn. I post pictures online. I learn and I explore. As the years go by I'm slowly discovering my sexuality. After all we are living in the digital age, and it is so easy to be in tune.

 

There are two things I will NEVER do. First is I will never have bdsm sex with my husband. It is hard to explain, but I do not want him to dominate me, ever. I want us to be at the same level. Giving him the power in the bedroom may and probably will mean relinquishing some of the power in everyday living.

 

Second is I will never have sex with another man. I love my family and my husband. I enjoy my fantasies but that's where it ends. I have self control. I have morals. I will never do anything in reality to hurt my family. My husband knows of my fantasies and online activities. He understands and trusts me. He leaves me alone.

 

Everyone is different. I have no idea how far your wife takes her fantasy. I just think you should give her the benefit of doubt. I know many women do have bdsm fantasies. If she has been a good mother and a good wife, I don't see why she can't have a little fun with her fantasies.

 

Not posting this to get judged. This is solely for Was_strong to understand things from another angle.

 

Your post is full of contradictions. I'm not judging you, but you say flat out that "everyone is different" which pretty much automatically renders your specific story moot right? I'm not saying that to be rude, I'm saying that if everyone is different then that means the guys wife might be willing to do the things you won't. On top of all that, your story also had one pretty major difference in that you told your husband what you get up to, but you for some reason did not see the huge significance of that.

 

You might say "she is his wife she deserves the benefit of the doubt" which would normally be true, but she lost that benefit via the whole lying and putting nude pictures online thing.

Edited February 13, 2015 by Spectre

[Chi townD]

 

I think that (as usual) people are superimposing their own situations onto other situations, thinking they are all the same. They aren't.

 

 

Superimposing our own situations onto others thinking that they're the same?!?! My situation is a TOTAL departure from this kind of situation; therefore, I fail to see where I'm superimposing my situation into this thread. I never had to deal with my girlfriend snapping pics of herself in compromising positions of submissive humiliation and posting them on the internet for the world to see.

 

 

I can't say I can apply that to my situation.

[MJJean]

There are two things I will NEVER do. First is I will never have bdsm sex with my husband. It is hard to explain, but I do not want him to dominate me, ever. I want us to be at the same level. Giving him the power in the bedroom may and probably will mean relinquishing some of the power in everyday living.

 

Second is I will never have sex with another man. I love my family and my husband. I enjoy my fantasies but that's where it ends. I have self control. I have morals. I will never do anything in reality to hurt my family. My husband knows of my fantasies and online activities. He understands and trusts me. He leaves me alone.

 

Never say never.

 

Just wanted to give you some food for thought. Although I am on my first cup of coffee and not fully awake yet, so maybe I'm just giving you snack food for thought with little nutritional value...

 

I don't know how long you've been interested in BDSM or D/s relationships. I don't know how strong the desire to be dominated is for you. But if you're still exploring there is a chance the need will increase and you'll find yourself desperately wanting to act out at least some of your fantasies. Over time the frustration and desperation can lead a person down paths they never thought they'd walk.

 

I think you have an incomplete view of the D/s relationship. If you're into the scene sexually, but in no other aspect of your life that's ok and fairly common. If you and your DH were to make your fantasy a reality you wouldn't be less than equals or surrendering control to your DH outside of the bedroom. And even inside the bedroom it doesn't have to be an all the time thing. BDSM or D/s can be incorporated into the sexual repertoire just like anything else on the menu.

 

Think of it this way. If DH tells you he has a need and you meet that need does that make you less than equals? Of course not! This is the same thing. For a lot of us it's a need just like any other physical and psychological/emotional need.

 

My DH and I specifically discussed this and both came to the conclusion that we wanted my sexual submission to stay in the realm of the sexual and not bleed over into other aspects of our relationship. Personally, I think it's because I am the one who handles everything. I do the cleaning, cooking, car repairs, yard work, house repairs, any and all paperwork, etc. I'm good at it and don't want to give it up. We make all major and a lot of minor decisions together. Basically, he's seen the bosses job and does not want it.

Edited February 13, 2015 by MJJean

[sandylee1]

OP said the pics of bondage attire were her alone. All she had to do is set up her digital camera or cell phone on a timer to take those. There doesn't need to have been anyone else involved.

 

He specifically said the pic of her being spanked was taken fully clothed as a joke pic with her and one of her female friends.

 

 

Thanks MJ.

 

People are too quick to judge here sometimes.

[autumnnight]

I really see the desire to be submissive and the crisis situation that brought the OP here as two separate things. I know that it was the wife's secret participation in the former (to what extent none of us know) that brought it up, but really....I see the deception and secrecy as separate.

 

If it were me, I would think the first order of business before any discussion of incorporating "lifestyles" is to get to the bottom of exactly WHAT the wife did, if she did things with anyone, what is happening with these pictures, etc. Then some real safeguards and transparency needs to be in place. And whether we define it strictly as cheating or not, keeping something like this that IS public (whether she showed her face or not) from your spouse is a BIG DEAL.

 

The deception has to be dealt with first, and all truth has to come out.

 

Then the decision about BDS/submission/etc. could come into play.

[BetrayedH]

Never say never.

 

Just wanted to give you some food for thought. Although I am on my first cup of coffee and not fully awake yet, so maybe I'm just giving you snack food for thought with little nutritional value...

 

I don't know how long you've been interested in BDSM or D/s relationships. I don't know how strong the desire to be dominated is for you. But if you're still exploring there is a chance the need will increase and you'll find yourself desperately wanting to act out at least some of your fantasies. Over time the frustration and desperation can lead a person down paths they never thought they'd walk.

 

I think you have an incomplete view of the D/s relationship. If you're into the scene sexually, but in no other aspect of your life that's ok and fairly common. If you and your DH were to make your fantasy a reality you wouldn't be less than equals or surrendering control to your DH outside of the bedroom. And even inside the bedroom it doesn't have to be an all the time thing. BDSM or D/s can be incorporated into the sexual repertoire just like anything else on the menu.

 

Think of it this way. If DH tells you he has a need and you meet that need does that make you less than equals? Of course not! This is the same thing. For a lot of us it's a need just like any other physical and psychological/emotional need.

 

My DH and I specifically discussed this and both came to the conclusion that we wanted my sexual submission to stay in the realm of the sexual and not bleed over into other aspects of our relationship. Personally, I think it's because I am the one who handles everything. I do the cleaning, cooking, car repairs, yard work, house repairs, any and all paperwork, etc. I'm good at it and don't want to give it up. We make all major and a lot of minor decisions together. Basically, he's seen the bosses job and does not want it.

 

Agree a lot with this. My GF is submissive in the bedroom and I'm dominant. Some of the things we've done would make you blush. She really wants to be "taken."

 

Outside of the bedroom, she's my complete equal. You won't find anyone, including her, that would say I've ever disrespected her. And her submissiveness has never diminished my view of her.

 

It's bedroom fun and that's all it is. But it's hot as f*ck for both of us.

[Chi townD]

Thanks MJ.

 

People are too quick to judge here sometimes.

 

 

 

Yeah, I'm that quick draw asshat that likes to judge away!!!!! I misinterpreted what was written and when it was made apparent I posted that I agreed in the next damn post

 

 

Get off my back! Damn!

[Mr. Lucky]

And I can't help believing gender plays a big role here, especially considering where most of the vitriol is coming from.

 

Just as there seems to be an equal gender bias in those who minimize her behavior. Were she single, nothing wrong with her behavior. With her spouse's knowledge and consent, no problem. She could post/swing/sub/dom and get her freak on to her heart's content.

 

But neither of those conditions apply here. So we're back to square one...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Mr. Lucky]

Sexually I'm very submissive. I watch bdsm porn. I post pictures online. I learn and I explore. As the years go by I'm slowly discovering my sexuality. After all we are living in the digital age, and it is so easy to be in tune.

 

Is your husband aware of your activities? If so, your situation very different than the OP's...

 

Mr. Lucky

[autumnnight]

Just as there seems to be an equal gender bias in those who minimize her behavior. Were she single, nothing wrong with her behavior. With her spouse's knowledge and consent, no problem. She could post/swing/sub/dom and get her freak on to her heart's content.

 

But neither of those conditions apply here. So we're back to square one...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

True. I guess it's a good thing I haven't minimized her behavior. I just haven't claimed to be able to read mind or have a secret insight into what she - a complete stranger - has "definitely really done."

 

I do think that the OP needs to keep digging.

[Spectre]

We know she has put photo's online. That is all that really needs to be said. This would be an entirely different conversation if this was something the husband was aware of before hand, etc. It has nothing to do with gender.