I feel bad about blocking her on social media

[questionsforthenouns]

After I blocked her this morning on fb and instagram, I started feeling bad. For a number of reasons:

 

1- It makes me look immature by not being able to handle seeing her on social media, and it makes it seem like I'm trying to use what little power I have in this breakup situation

2- We have lost our last bit of connection, which was seeing things about each other over social media sites, since we are not communicating any longer

3- It somehow makes me feel that it will prevent her from reaching out in the future.

 

I know all of you are so gung-ho about the practice of NC, but idk. I don't know why I feel bad. Maybe you guys could offer some guidance.

[calgary]

this is exactly how i've been feeling about removing her.

 

I think it made me look weak and i feel guilty because she was actually pretty decent and honest with me about the whole thing. She asked if i wanted to meet up when she's home in a few weeks. Haven't spoken since the break up.

 

I agree it's for the best. But I completely understand how you feel too.

[Mi7522]

After I blocked her this morning on fb and instagram, I started feeling bad. For a number of reasons:

 

1- It makes me look immature by not being able to handle seeing her on social media, and it makes it seem like I'm trying to use what little power I have in this breakup situation

2- We have lost our last bit of connection, which was seeing things about each other over social media sites, since we are not communicating any longer

3- It somehow makes me feel that it will prevent her from reaching out in the future.

 

I know all of you are so gung-ho about the practice of NC, but idk. I don't know why I feel bad. Maybe you guys could offer some guidance.

 

If she broke up with you she will understand it is the right thing to do for you to move on and heal. If she truly wants to get a hold of you she will move mountains to contact you and will find a way.

[dyna85]

You absolutely did the right thing.

 

a) Who cares what she thinks. This is about doing what's best for YOU. Blocking her is necessary to jump start the healing process. Seeing her pictures/updates would inevitably hold you back, so this was a crucial step towards moving in the right direction. This is the opposite of immaturity. You are now empowered because you've blocked her, and your brain and body will thank you later.

 

b) If she wants to ever get in touch, I'm sure she has your phone number.

 

c) Not true. If the only effort your ex would have made to get back in touch would be through FB, that is lame and who needs that?

 

Your mind can really do a number on you when you're fresh out of a BU. Some things we think are true, are really not.

 

I hope that helps.

[questionsforthenouns]

You absolutely did the right thing.

 

a) Who cares what she thinks. This is about doing what's best for YOU. Blocking her is necessary to jump start the healing process. Seeing her pictures/updates would inevitably hold you back, so this was a crucial step towards moving in the right direction. This is the opposite of immaturity. You are now empowered because you've blocked her, and your brain and body will thank you later.

 

b) If she wants to ever get in touch, I'm sure she has your phone number.

 

c) Not true. If the only effort your ex would have made to get back in touch would be through FB, that is lame and who needs that?

 

Your mind can really do a number on you when you're fresh out of a BU. Some things we think are true, are really not.

 

I hope that helps.

 

That was helpful, thanks. But if I can be honest with myself, part of the reason why I did it was so that she would SEE that I blocked her, in an effort to have an impact on her feelings. Which makes me feel guilty

[organizedchaos]

After I blocked her this morning on fb and instagram, I started feeling bad. For a number of reasons:

 

1- It makes me look immature by not being able to handle seeing her on social media, and it makes it seem like I'm trying to use what little power I have in this breakup situation

2- We have lost our last bit of connection, which was seeing things about each other over social media sites, since we are not communicating any longer

3- It somehow makes me feel that it will prevent her from reaching out in the future.

 

I know all of you are so gung-ho about the practice of NC, but idk. I don't know why I feel bad. Maybe you guys could offer some guidance.

 

1. No it doesn't. It's all about your healing now.

2. You lost that connection when you broke up. Seeing her online will hold you back.

3. She doesn't have a phone or email account?

[questionsforthenouns]

But what mostly triggered me blocking her this morning was when I was checking instagram (obsessively lately because of the recent BU) and I saw that my ex had started following this guy at the same time that he posted his first picture, giving me the idea that she had helped him create a profile and they have probably been hanging out/ doing whatever the f**k she is doing out there. Probably hooking up. Idk it just hurts. I wanted to try to hurt her back by cutting off ties, even just by deleting social media

[Nascarfan]

Hey brother, I think you're feeling bad because of the way you see your actions. Here's what I have to say about that.

 

1. You have to do whatever you have to do in order to move on from this. You're responsible for taking care of yourself. If you don't do it, who else will? In regards to what she thinks, it doesn't matter. You have to deal with this the best way you know how and not let anyone judge you for taking care of yourself. "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

 

2. If you don't lose that last bit of connection, you won't be able to move on (and if you do, it will be much harder and take much more time than it has to). That's why so many people here advocate NC. It's to help you get where you need to be in order to find the right person.

 

3. If she does ever want to contact you for something that's important to her, she will find a way. However, don't wait for it because it may never come. It's a win-win if you are indifferent.

 

Love yourself, learn from this situation, and walk on. The sooner you implement these things, the sooner you are going to find the right person for you, and they're never going to leave your side. Hope this helps

[organizedchaos]

But what mostly triggered me blocking her this morning was when I was checking instagram (obsessively lately because of the recent BU) and I saw that my ex had started following this guy at the same time that he posted his first picture, giving me the idea that she had helped him create a profile and they have probably been hanging out/ doing whatever the f**k she is doing out there. Probably hooking up. Idk it just hurts. I wanted to try to hurt her back by cutting off ties, even just by deleting social media

 

Prime reason to block right there. You will over analyze every like or friend she connects with. Been there done that. You'll spin these crazy stories in your head and make yourself miserable. All without having any idea what's going on. You are better off not knowing. Out of sight out of mind man.

[questionsforthenouns]

Hey brother, I think you're feeling bad because of the way you see your actions. Here's what I have to say about that.

 

1. You have to do whatever you have to do in order to move on from this. You're responsible for taking care of yourself. If you don't do it, who else will? In regards to what she thinks, it doesn't matter. You have to deal with this the best way you know how and not let anyone judge you for taking care of yourself. "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

 

2. If you don't lose that last bit of connection, you won't be able to move on (and if you do, it will be much harder and take much more time than it has to). That's why so many people here advocate NC. It's to help you get where you need to be in order to find the right person.

 

3. If she does ever want to contact you for something that's important to her, she will find a way. However, don't wait for it because it may never come. It's a win-win if you are indifferent.

 

Love yourself, learn from this situation, and walk on. The sooner you implement these things, the sooner you are going to find the right person for you, and they're never going to leave your side. Hope this helps

 

Prime reason to block right there. You will over analyze every like or friend she connects with. Been there done that. You'll spin these crazy stories in your head and make yourself miserable. All without having any idea what's going on. You are better off not knowing. Out of sight out of mind man.

 

Thanks for the responses guys. Blocking is the best way to go I have decided. Now I just need to focus on not checking her pages to see if she's changed a profile pic or whatever. Stupid. This whole thing is stupid. Breakups are ****ing hell

[dyna85]

That was helpful, thanks. But if I can be honest with myself, part of the reason why I did it was so that she would SEE that I blocked her, in an effort to have an impact on her feelings. Which makes me feel guilty

 

You don't have to feel guilty. It's only natural to want her to feel some type of way, given that she hurt you.

 

Blocking is the best way to go I have decided. Now I just need to focus on not checking her pages to see if she's changed a profile pic or whatever. Stupid. This whole thing is stupid. Breakups are ****ing hell

 

I agree that breakups are hell on earth, but to maximize your chances of moving forward (even if intrinsically every fiber of your being rejects this idea), you need to get out of this pattern of getting your fix through social media. It will bring you down every single time, without fail, and it will hold you back in a big way.

 

Don't believe me? Check the posts of those who cling to their ex to an extreme years later. Guess what they're doing? Still checking FB and other social media.

 

Even if your anxiety is through the roof and you just HAVE to take a peek to feel better -- DON'T DO IT. Every time you resist this temptation, you're helping yourself move towards a better future.

[questionsforthenouns]

You don't have to feel guilty. It's only natural to want her to feel some type of way, given that she hurt you.

 

 

 

I agree that breakups are hell on earth, but to maximize your chances of moving forward (even if intrinsically every fiber of your being rejects this idea), you need to get out of this pattern of getting your fix through social media. It will bring you down every single time, without fail, and it will hold you back in a big way.

 

Don't believe me? Check the posts of those who cling to their ex to an extreme years later. Guess what they're doing? Still checking FB and other social media.

 

Even if your anxiety is through the roof and you just HAVE to take a peek to feel better -- DON'T DO IT. Every time you resist this temptation, you're helping yourself move towards a better future.

 

You are absolutely right, but I don't know how I can prevent myself from doing it. Because even if I block her, there is still public content that I can see. Which keeps me coming back

[Elle1975]

3- It somehow makes me feel that it will prevent her from reaching out in the future.

 

It's 2015, MANY ways to reach someone if she really wants to.

 

Are you keeping her on because you are hoping she will change her mind and reach out?

[Zoe Lilith]

After I blocked her this morning on fb and instagram, I started feeling bad. For a number of reasons:

 

1- It makes me look immature by not being able to handle seeing her on social media, and it makes it seem like I'm trying to use what little power I have in this breakup situation

2- We have lost our last bit of connection, which was seeing things about each other over social media sites, since we are not communicating any longer

3- It somehow makes me feel that it will prevent her from reaching out in the future.

 

I know all of you are so gung-ho about the practice of NC, but idk. I don't know why I feel bad. Maybe you guys could offer some guidance.

 

 

You shouldn't feel bad at all, here is why;

 

1 - you blocked her because you are moving on and she is now history, that is not immature, it's the right decision.

2 - what connection? The relationship ended. Regardless who ended it, you don't have to communicate with each other anymore, that's what break up is. What's the point?!

3 - reaching out? Her life, mental health or any issues are none of your business anymore and vice versa.

 

You did the right thing! You should feel good about yourself for taking the first step. There is nothing immature about it. good luck

[questionsforthenouns]

Thanks for the support guys. This is a really tough time. In fact I am having a break down at this moment. Who do you guys call or talk to when you are slipping?

[questionsforthenouns]

It's 2015, MANY ways to reach someone if she really wants to.

 

Are you keeping her on because you are hoping she will change her mind and reach out?

 

Somewhat. It's our last thread of communication without direct contact so it's a bit hard to cut it. But I blocked her on instagram and facebook. It's for the best

[Mi7522]

Somewhat. It's our last thread of communication without direct contact so it's a bit hard to cut it. But I blocked her on instagram and facebook. It's for the best

 

Dude block her on everything, trust me if she wants to get a hold of you she will find a way. You either cut off all communication to heal or you leave something open to give you hope and continuously pull the scab off. Your choice obviously on what you do.

Edited February 8, 2015 by Mi7522

[organizedchaos]

Thanks for the support guys. This is a really tough time. In fact I am having a break down at this moment. Who do you guys call or talk to when you are slipping?

 

Friends? Family?

[Elle1975]

No one.. my girl friends.. mostly no one. I have set goals in my life.. I just put my energy where it matters most.

[darkbloom]

After I blocked her this morning on fb and instagram, I started feeling bad. For a number of reasons:

 

1- It makes me look immature by not being able to handle seeing her on social media, and it makes it seem like I'm trying to use what little power I have in this breakup situation

2- We have lost our last bit of connection, which was seeing things about each other over social media sites, since we are not communicating any longer

3- It somehow makes me feel that it will prevent her from reaching out in the future.

 

I know all of you are so gung-ho about the practice of NC, but idk. I don't know why I feel bad. Maybe you guys could offer some guidance.

 

1. Maturity is overrated. The power that you have is picking your **** up and moving on with your life.

2. You lost your last bit of connection when you broke up. Social media is an illusion.

3. You are already broken up. Thinking about what she thinks and if she is going to reach out is not healthy and I will repeat YOU ARE BROKEN UP. If she wants you back, she will brave hell and high water to get back to you. If not, she will feed you bs breadcrumbs that will prevent you from healing.

 

You need to start feeling good about yourself. No contact is basically the best thing to save you from yourself.

[Chi townD]

But what mostly triggered me blocking her this morning was when I was checking instagram (obsessively lately because of the recent BU) and I saw that my ex had started following this guy at the same time that he posted his first picture, giving me the idea that she had helped him create a profile and they have probably been hanging out/ doing whatever the f**k she is doing out there. Probably hooking up. Idk it just hurts. I wanted to try to hurt her back by cutting off ties, even just by deleting social media

 

 

 

And for this VERY REASON is why you need to block them on all of your social media.

 

 

Or else we would be hearing post like, "She put some pics on her Facebook of her at a party. She looks happy and having fun while I'm dying over here." or "She seems to be liking this other dudes posts a lot and I just saw that she added him to her friends list" or "she just posted a pic with this dude that has her arm around her". And finally! "She just changed her relationship status from single to in a relationship!"

 

 

You don't need to see any of that! I speculate just reading what I wrote didn't sit pretty with you! Ignorance is bliss in cases like this!

 

 

NC is for you and you alone. To help you heal from this and move on. NC is not for you to look "immature". NC is to protect you from hurting worse than what you already do.

 

 

Hang in there. DO NC and start making positive changes in your life.

[mightycpa]

You are blocking her, so it is a magnanimous move for her benefit.