LifeandPerseverance Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 (edited) Went on a date with this guy earlier this week, and he made mention of us going hiking this weekend. Thursday, "we should go hiking" became "we should go to dinner" for Saturday. I was still cool with that, flattered and excited, and accepted. And he's mentioned it every day since. He's texted me every day this week...But now it's Saturday. And supposedly we're going to dinner..But now it's 11 AM (meaning a dinner date would take place in the next >9 hours)..and he's never attempted to set a time for dinner, or a place. Isn't that unusual? I like to plan. I'm a planner. I would like to have a time set the day before. I think it's considerate. In my opinion, it's rude to just expect that someone will be free, close to the time, without prior planning or consideration. I'm not gonna just drop everything and go. He texted me good morning, and I replied, hours ago, but he hasn't replied since. And no mention of a time for tonight. And then I looked..He's been active on tinder since then, yet can't reply to my text? Also...The weather hasn't changed. It's pushing 70 degrees--perfect hiking weather still. Yet no hiking? He lives a-ways out of town and has to drive in..Am I wrong to think it sounds like he has multiple dates lined up for today? And someone else got the hiking slot? And therefore, time for his date with me is waiting on the back burner because he's busy strategizing his other dates? He's off all day, and so am I. How much longer should I wait for him to set a time, before I just tell him NO about tonight? I feel like it's kind of pushing it. Am I right, or just being paranoid, and letting my inner ass$%$$^% show? Edited February 7, 2015 by LifeandPerseverance Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Woah, slow down. You're all over the place here. The hiking? Thought hiking became dinner? So why are you still expecting hiking? And here's a crazy idea...try texting him and asking him what time he was planning on for tonight so you're ready. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
trolloperative Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 TEXT: hey, what time are we meeting tonight 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 I have a date tonight and have no exact time planned. I'm a busy guy! Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 CALL him and ask what time you need to be ready. If you get voicemail, tell him, Hey ___, you need to tell me what time to be ready ASAP! Link to post Share on other sites
Poppygoodwill Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 You're not expecting too much. But I agree: take the bull by the horns and call him or text him yourself. ON the face of it, he has good intentions, so why assume the worst. If you get no response by, say, 2 pm, then I'd go ahead and make other plans and if he calls you later than that you can legitimately tell him that you tried to get in touch with no luck and since nothing had been fixed, you assumed it wasn't goign to happen. Bear in mind some cultures don't make set plans, you just swing on by when you feel like it. Things are much more free flowing. But if you're a planner who likes to know things in advance, then now is the time to teach him that is your expectation. If he knows that about you and, down the line, still doesn't set a time ahead of time, then you know something else is up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifeandPerseverance Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 Okay, I'd think maybe he just kind of goes with the flow and is a more spontaneous person..But the first date, he asked me, and planned the place/time the night before. So why no concrete plan this time? And he has texted me multiple times since I posted it--telling me his errands he's running, where he's getting coffee, etc. So why no "hey, what time did you want to get dinner tonight?" Just seems..Strange to me? Or I'm paranoid? Maybe I just haven't had enough coffee today. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 .But the first date, he asked me, and planned the place/time the night before. So why no concrete plan this time? Just let it go. Maybe I just haven't had enough coffee today. Or maybe too much? Link to post Share on other sites
Eighty_nine Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Maybe he's wondering or doubting if you're still interested in going. Just ask what the plan is. And soon! Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Call and make him tell you the time. Do NOT let him get started just farting around and showing up whenever the whim strikes him! However you get started is how he'll be forever. Teach him how to treat you starting now! Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Jesus, just text the guy already and ask him what time he's picking you up! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Just text him something casual asking him about the time so you know when to get ready etc . Seriously, it's not a crime. Plus it shows that you're interested too and creates more of a dialogue. Trust me on this. Then come back here and tell us what he says. Link to post Share on other sites
ThisisIt606 Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Personally, if I don't get the full details or if we having decided time and place, I will text the evening before and ask. If the day is dinner friday night, I'll text thursday evening something like "hey! thoughts on where you want to meet for dinner?" then he'll say something and hopefully set a time. If not, I'll ask "what time's good for you?" I go with the expectation (especially early on it dating) it's not going to actually happen until all 3 (day, time, place) are set and I'm on my way to the place. It's inconsiderate to just drag things out and wait until the day of to let someone know the details. If you really like someone and you have good dating skills you'll want to set the details. For example, I had a guy ask me out on sunday for dinner on Wednesday. I said sure and he asked me where I lived so he could pick a restaurant convenient for us both and he'd get back to me. Days passed and he didn't get back to me until Tuesday a little after 11pm with the date time. I saw the message Wendsday at noon, by that time I already had another date for wednesday night. Keep your life full and take plans that actually present themselves in full. Train early on that you have a busy life and if a guy wants to be a part of he he has to put in a little effort... and a few strokes across an iphone to state a time ain't too hard.... Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I wonder if he's waiting to see if other things he had planned panned out before calling you up? Or worst, he's doing a fade... I know, I'm guilty...I've done that and had that done to me Actually, I did that recently with some OLD guy...But, IMO, the guy deserved it. He looked like he just wanted a hook up, and was getting on my nerves. I was not feeling an attraction. He wasn't bad looking, but couldn't stand his accent and he sounded like a dog in heat. He deserved a fade. I mean, I'm horny and all that, but not looking to be pumped and dumped either. And, yeah, I've done the "lemme see what else I got going on" before I confirm a date with someone...If I do that to a guy, that means I'm not that into him. With my recent crush, even though the timing was bad I still came back to him with a time/date. So, if someone is busy, that's understandable...but if they don't come back with an actual date AND time AND location - they probably got you as Plan B, doing a fade, or not that interested. Link to post Share on other sites
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