aliveagain Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 You can end this anytime you want, you just don't really want to is your problem. You keep doing the same things but expect a different result, I don't have to explain the definition of that do I? There is only one way to end it, you just have to make the decision to do so. Try dating other women that way they know your available, women know when your involved with someone and will avoid you. Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Ask your lawyer about custody and about maybe having your ex-wife examined by a shrink. She sounds seriously disturbed. And for sure, 100%, stop having sex with her. Don't even let her imagine you want to have sex with her. You should be nothing more than the father of your shared daughter, as far as she is concerned now. Not a friend, not a sex partner, etc... As far as other women...make sure you don't drag a woman into this mess, i.e if you are or might still sleep with the ex once in a while, and also expect to be manipulated by the ex once you do start dating. It is none of her concern who you date, or your business who she does. Good luck... If his wife is identified as a BPD there is a serious possibility that she will be seen as mentally ill and in need of help. Basically he will be seen as the evil one; BPD is not understood at it's root. And you can't really attack the fact that she has been breastfeeding because her lawyer and her + others she can get to say will say what great it is and allow herself to drape in the motherhood feminist mantle. I think it's important that the OP realizes that this woman uses her body as a tool. First by breastfeeding her son/daughter. And 2nd by sleeping with the OP to keep him from going away. Both address one of the BPD's greastest fears ... abandonment. Link to post Share on other sites
Ralph79 Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 You can end this anytime you want, you just don't really want to is your problem. You keep doing the same things but expect a different result, I don't have to explain the definition of that do I? There is only one way to end it, you just have to make the decision to do so. Try dating other women that way they know your available, women know when your involved with someone and will avoid you. Just adding something to your advice: If he does end up dating, it will hopefully be after fully committing to not sleeping with his eX anymore. OP: Your eX is crazy. But you've got a screw or two lose yourself for not only allowing her to do this to you, but for continuing to play her game for so long. And I say this because I've been there. Sharing advice my friends and therapist once told me, we think too little of ourselves thus we end up being attracted to women that have problems. Women that need our help, or need saving. We love being in relationships where we are knights in shining armor because it's easier to fix someone else's life rather than our own. Be your own hero, and look for a trouble free woman. Steer clear of women with mental issues. You have gained the ability to see those kind of red flags now. Use it. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 My daughter is 6.5. She feels shame about the breast feeding. I feel sorry for her. She tries to hide it and feels embarassed. She has asked me not to talk about it around her friends. I wouldn't ever, but she still is concerned. Tell her it's OK to tell her mom enough. Or is this your daughter's choice? Sorry I am confused as to whether or not it's being forced upon her or by choice. IF her mom, your ex is making her, then you need to deal with this and get her away from her mom. Manic behaviour is NOT good for your kids. I need to get strong with myself, than move to the next phases of taking her to court for custody. Not sure how that will work, but I'll call my lawyer next week. Right now your wife is a hot mess, BP and the breast feeding, start recording her and write in a journal her behaviour. She is NOT putting the kids first and right now she is manic. Very manic. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 if you are paying child support, custody has already happened. if you are appealling this decision then bring proof of your worthiness to be primary guardian. What does the child arrangement state for visitation and parental co parenting guidelines? keep seeing the therepist , some of this ladies actions and life choices have affected your thought process. Link to post Share on other sites
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