Jo Jo Posted March 5, 2001 Share Posted March 5, 2001 ok, i have dated several different women in the past 5 or 6 months. My problem is, i have tried to engage in sex with them, but its like my penis doesn't get fully erect for me to get it in. I have attempted like 5 times and everytime the same thing has happened. Sometimes when im at home by myself, i don't have any problems. I wake up sometimes in the mourning and it'll be fully erect, but it seems to only give me problems when im trying to have sex with them. I do masterbate often, i don't know if that could have anything to do with it. Im very attracted to them, im just not sure why it doesn't get fully erected when im around them. Please HELP!!!!! This is very important to me. I have just met a very nice girl, and i really want to satisfy her. We attempted to have sex last nite for the first time and it would start to get erect, but just wouldn't. She is very attractive and i really want to satisfy her. PLEASE HELP!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Victor Posted March 5, 2001 Share Posted March 5, 2001 I'm just taking a guess, but maybe you are nervous around these women? Did something happen to you before these 5 or 6 months? I would try to not masturbate for a while, like 2 weeks, and then go and try to have sex with a girl, maybe you masturbate too much? Link to post Share on other sites
Dave Posted March 6, 2001 Share Posted March 6, 2001 Hey, if you can masturbate and get a good erection, you are 100% fine physically, I give you my word, and if you wake up sometimes with full erection, even better I think you are having a performance anxiety. Look back and see how your problem started. Most likely you were not able to perform once, and then you started fearing, and the problem got worse. I had the same problem, related to condoms. I could not have sex with a condom, every time I lost erection. It takes time and an understanding partner. If some time passes and you see that you are getting worse, see a sex therapist. Or if you get OK erections, ask her to masturbate you, or you masturbate yourself, that will take some pressure off of you, and you will achieve erection. As you said, you are able to have good erections on your own, meaning when you stimulate yourself with your hand, it means that you can have them, so ask your girl to help you out a little bit, and once you have become confident, you can try withour manual stimulation. Nothing is wrong with you. Its in your head. Try to limit masturbation to once a day Good luck ok, i have dated several different women in the past 5 or 6 months. My problem is, i have tried to engage in sex with them, but its like my penis doesn't get fully erect for me to get it in. I have attempted like 5 times and everytime the same thing has happened. Sometimes when im at home by myself, i don't have any problems. I wake up sometimes in the mourning and it'll be fully erect, but it seems to only give me problems when im trying to have sex with them. I do masterbate often, i don't know if that could have anything to do with it. Im very attracted to them, im just not sure why it doesn't get fully erected when im around them. Please HELP!!!!! This is very important to me. I have just met a very nice girl, and i really want to satisfy her. We attempted to have sex last nite for the first time and it would start to get erect, but just wouldn't. She is very attractive and i really want to satisfy her. PLEASE HELP!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted March 10, 2001 Share Posted March 10, 2001 Hi, The problem is definitely not physical, since you can achieve erection alone while masturbating. Your problem seems to be psychological and related to your relationship with women in general, since you experienced the same behavior with several women. Are you able to visualize yourself having intercourse? Some people cannot do so, sometimes because of their morals (they consider sex as dirty, irrespectful or inappropriate), sometimes because of their perception of competency (they don't feel confident that they can satisfy their partner). Either way, this cognitive constraint will stop them from achieving erection and completing the sexual act. Even worse, if the problem is a lack of confidence, they will feel even more anxiety when the next opportunity comes along, because of their previous "failure". Good luck, Bill Link to post Share on other sites
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