Crafty Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 So i was on and off (sort of) with this guy. He was my first real boyfriend i guess and i'm sure i loved him, however, as time went on i realized we just weren't compatible. His idea of how to treat a girlfriend or someone he supposedly loved was vastly different to my idea and i wasn't getting what i needed from a relationship. Last time we dated was technically a while ago like a year ago, however from august-december last year, we were texting every day and seeing each other on the weekend. I thought we were heading into dating officially again but we kind of agreed to wait until after exams. exams came and went and i was still waiting for this thing we had going on to move forward, for him to prove to me he was genuine. Then in december, we had another argument cause still things were the same, came to a boiling point awkwardly the day before his birthday. On his birthday we went to dinner with him and his friend as planned and drunkenly discussed our issues, he kept telling me i had to be patient and the problems now would no longer be problems in 2months time. Anyway, just days after his birthday, i met a guy and we hit it off straight away. me and this new guy are now in a relationship and im very happy with him, he treats me amazing, he's very attractive, common interests etc etc and issues in the last relationship are not issues in this one. Told the ex soon after i met the guy that im pursuing this new relationship. Now, prior to all the fighting with ex, i already bought him his birthday present cause it was his 21st. i didnt bring it on the night of his birthday and he said hed get it from me later. i told him what i got him though on his birthday cause he asked what it was. anyway, part of the present was for us to go sports car racing cause i got a good deal on it. We've communicated around christmas time and new years and i asked him if he still wants to get his gift and go racing he can he just has to let me know of day when hes free. but he still hasnt messaged me a day (i presume from past experience with us being on and off, he gets nervous to message knowing i have a new bf but in the past he's always reignited communication) and it expires soon lol. Do i message my ex and still give him his gift plus the deal of us going sports car racing or do i use the voucher myself and donate the other gift? option 3 would be to treat my current boyfriend with the gift, however he's on crutches currently and cant drive as such. I still care for my ex and bought him his present prior to the fighting and it was well thought out and would still like for him to receive it. Is that weird? We're on good terms i guess, havent spoken a great deal since his birthday and i guess me finding someone new was unexpected. it feels weird to suddenly cease communication with him and i want to talk to him as a friend but i cant seem to find the courage to talk to him, like i think what will he think, will it look desperate if i talk to him etc etc. we're 21.
GemmaUK Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 I wouldn't give the gift to your ex. He is your ex. Gifts like that can be used for future dates so if it's something your new guy would like wait until he is all better and go with him. Or just take another friend or family member with you.
d0nnivain Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 Do not give it to the EX If it will still be valid when your new BF gets off crutches treat him but do not tell him the original reason for the purchase. If the gift will expire before new BF is off crutches, go yourself or give it to a friend / family member
Kitchen Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 If you want your ex, whom you dumped, and is hurting right now, to be led on and given false hope to, and simultaneously want to hurt your new boyfriend, then yes please continue to set up a time for the go sports cars. However, if you want to spare your ex of any more pain and let him go on with his life, and want to treat your new bf just as amazingly as he treats you, then don't give the gift. This all stems from insecurity. You're happy your old relationship is over but unhappy that your ex isn't trying hard enough to make work what you don't even want to work. You must be a catch to have clicked with this new guy that quickly, so no need to be insecure about yourself. Just treat them the way you'd like to be treated in their shoes. The ex hasn't responded to you because he's trying to get on with his life, and you should do the same. It's best for all including you! Oh and don't take the new bf to the sports car thing. Take a friend, or sell the tickets. It's not fair to give him a gift meant for your ex.
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