wildflower_z Posted April 3, 2005 Share Posted April 3, 2005 I just met a MM about 1 month ago, my divorce is to be final w/in the month. MM, went to see my lawyer, he wants out. We have been talking and talking, eating lunches together, etc. We are quite compatible and he always calls, treats me with respect and dignity. His marriage has been worse than mine. I was married less than 3 years and it was a marriage without love or commitment. MM married his high school sweetheart and hasn't had sex in 2 years, but stayed for the past 5 because at that time she wanted a divorce. Should I hang in with this man or let him go? Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted April 3, 2005 Share Posted April 3, 2005 Let him go. Only believe his marriage is bad, and that he has not had sex for 2 years, if his wife bluntly tells it on a party, so everybody would know, that the marriage is a joke. MM will have no chance to get you as a mistress if he will say they are happily married and has sex with the wife every night, does he? If the marriage has been so bad, why has not he gathered the courage to opt for the divorce before? It's a convenient excuse to give you hope for something more in most cases. If he has an interest to be with you, let him act on it, and get a full divorce, and let him live on the hope that you would not have found someone in the time. Sounds cruel? No. It is the way to save you the heartaches of an affair. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wildflower_z Posted April 3, 2005 Author Share Posted April 3, 2005 MM is going through w/full divorce, he asked me tonight, how long will it take for his wife to get served from the court. He has already moved most of his belongings out and is moving in w/Mom. I believe he has hung on to his marriage because he thought they would change. Any comments on that? Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted April 3, 2005 Share Posted April 3, 2005 I don't know NH laws on these matters, so I can't comment on the legal procedures. Still you would better avoid him, even though this is an encouraging step for the both of you. Why? Because the divorce will have an impact on the both of them. You can't really predict what will happen, and this is also true of MM. If it took him 5 years to gather the courage to file for a full divorce it either shows weakness, or it shows a major conflict of feelings and thoughts on the matter. My bet would be the last. Right now he really may believe that he would be happier with you than with MW. You don't know for certain what has gone on between MM and MW. This decision can come as a shock to her, and then she might try to do everything to get him back. He may stick to his decision, but that resolution will not prevent MW making an effort. Efforts which may confuse him, and that would result that there are two women fighting for him, with him unable to make up his mind. A divorce, even if desired, can be emotionally very draining. Even without the added confusion of a new relationship. It would be wiser to date other men, and when he is fully divorced, and you have not found another man, you can always try it with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wildflower_z Posted April 3, 2005 Author Share Posted April 3, 2005 Thanks for replying, you truly make sense. I have been thinking about the possibility that it's better for me to date others and not rely on this relationship. However, it's because of our compatibility that I was wondering what I should do. He is a very kind hearted person and maybe I am just a part of his life at this moment to give information and support to his troublesome time. As I have already been through this myself. We shall see and on w/life. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
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