And then there's the work thang...

[sleeplessindallas]

My store is closing tonight. I have been in this location primarily for a year and a half, and put my heart and soul into it, and into my ‘boys’ there. Most of them are young enough to be my sons, as I’ve mentioned in the past. There was that one special one, whom I’ve posted about before. So there’s an update.

 

I was so confused about what to do about him. He was hitting on me, and I was developing a crush on him. Hell, there wasn’t anything not to like about him – he is GORGEOUS, and very, very sweet. Nonetheless, because I am eighteen years his senior, I couldn’t wrap my mind around the idea that he was interested, and it took a lot of encouragement from a lot of people for me to even consider that he was actually seriously hitting on me. To this day I have my doubts. He had said things like he wouldn’t *mind* if I chased him, wondered why I kept running away from him, and a couple of other things that hinted he was interested. So... Knowing we are closing, I have been struggling with what to do.

 

If we aren’t going to work together any more, I don’t have such reservations about getting involved with him. I was distracted enough when he was around, and I was glad it wasn’t anything more than a flirtation because I never would have accomplished anything at all. I had a hard time staying focused when he was there. I probably sent him mixed messages for a lot of reasons. As much as I wanted to get together with him, I knew I really couldn’t. It killed me to have to do that. So we pretty much knew for a long time that our location would close eventually. We had talked about trying to find another place to work together, and that may have been because we worked so well together or because there was something brewing between us that we didn’t want to let go of. I still don’t know. I’ve laid low all along because I can’t let anyone else know anything. This is because my son works for the same company and I don’t want him to know anything about his mother being involved with someone just a few years older than he is. If a relationship had developed and become known, my son would have probably had serious problems with that – this guy is a friend of his. Our bosses probably would have had problems with it as well. All the way around it wouldn’t have been good, so I played cool, even though he was seriously tugging at my heart-strings and other unmentionable parts of me. ;-)

 

So... It turns out that all of us have been reassigned to other locations. We learned this Friday morning. After we had all been called in to the office for our assignments, we started talking to each other about where we were going. I went out to where J was working on a car, and leaned in from the passenger side and said, “So where are you going?” He said he didn’t know yet, but he had a couple of options that he needed to think about. One of the options was where I am going. I said I would love it if he moved there, too. He said he didn’t think he could justify the drive, especially since the other option is only a few minutes from where he lives. I said, “Well, you know, if we do get separated, I WON’T keep running away from you.” He said, “Yeah. I do need to get a phone number from you.” The sly look on his face is something I will probably never forget. I told him that I would make sure he got it and that I would really love to hear from him. It was very strange suddenly feeling like the ‘ban’ was lifted. I figured I would exchange numbers with him on Saturday. (I actually already had his because I had added everyone’s numbers off the call list in the office a few days earlier to my cellphone phone book. He could have gotten mine there, too, if he had wanted to.) I don’t normally work Saturdays, but because we are closing the store, I had to go in. I figured he would be working, but was heartbroken to see that his car wasn’t there when I got there. After an hour went by and he still wasn’t there, I started asking around and it turned out he was at another store helping out for the day. I was going to call him when I went to lunch and give him hell for managing to get out of there without even a hug from me. A few minutes before I was about to go do that, I heard his voice and thought I must have been hallucinating. I wasn’t. It turned out that he was needed to get a couple of things done at our store, had left the other store to come and do them, and then was headed back out. I wrote my phone number on a piece of paper in my office, then walked out to where he was working in a car. I leaned in and said, “I thought you were over at the other store today.” He looked up from what he was frantically working on and said that the guys that were here today didn’t know how to do what he was doing, so he had to come back. I said, “Well, at least you made it down from the top of my shi*list.” He looked up. I said, “Since I got here, I’ve been thinking, ‘that sonofabi*ch managed to make it out of here without even a hug from me. That sonofab****!!” He just grinned and asked how long I would be there. I leaned in and handed him my phone number, which he immediately put in his pocket. :-) He did say he had decided to move to the other location, not where I am going. Later, he came into my area, hung out for a few minutes, people came in and left, and it was clear he was hanging around. Finally, he sat down at my desk and wrote his number for me. I thanked him. He stood up, said my name, kind of sighed, and we hugged. I told him I was going to miss him sooooo much, and he said he thought our paths would cross again. I told him he couldn’t tell anyone that I was going to miss him. He said he knew I had a reputation to uphold and no one could know I was really not so tough, and pretty soft, really. I said I figured he knew that about me, and he said he did. I helped him load some things in his car, and really didn’t want to see him go. It was so hard. I wanted to just grab him and not let him go. I know as I stood there with him I said, “Damn it.” He finally left and I went back inside, very, very sad.

 

I have no idea if he will ever call, although it is inevitable that we will have some kind of contact, since we’re staying in the same company. I’d like to believe that my friends are right, that asking for my phone number is a very clear indication that I will hear from him personally, but I have to convince myself that I won’t, and to just get over him. If he calls, I would be thrilled, but if he doesn’t, that is more like life as I know it. He’s a busy young man with a very demanding job and few hours for himself. We live at least a half hour from each other. It just doesn’t look real likely. Besides, some pretty young thing is bound to come along and catch his eye, anyway. Oh, well. I just hope I made it clear enough that I had been running away because of work, and not because I wasn’t attracted. I’ll keep you posted.

[sleeplessindallas]

about it, I think I need some advice.

 

Should I call him? I know he is being worked like a dog right now, and will be exhausted and busy for a few more days before he is able to move to his new job, so I wouldn't want to bother him until the end of the week. But if I don't hear from him, should I just go ahead and call him? He did once say he wouldn't mind if I chased him. Maybe I should go ahead and do that and see what happens. What do you guys think? He's always been rather quiet, so I don't know if he is the type to want to do the chasing or be chased.

 

Thoughts?

[magda]

Couldn't hurt to ask him out to drinks, right?