Need Some Help About Old Brain Injury Affecting Life Now!!!!

[candy candy candy]

i had an eeg done to see if i had add and i do not have adult add but they did find that i have a mild traumatic brain injury i sustained either around 6 months or around 9 years old.

 

either way, the problems i have with my life are impulsivity at saying things that i dont mean to say, simple things mostly like judgement things i might say to my hubby or kids, like last night i said to my dh why are you taking vitamins at 12 at night?

 

he saw this as offensive and said that that is what i am always doing! i know it sounds so trivial, but i cant think of other examples right now, they are there though and i think nothing of them when i say them.

 

i do not blurt out inappropriate things, i am just highly opinionated i guess, and it is very offensive to others though i do not mean it to be.

 

i wish i could think of other things...my dh says i am constantly nit picking, and i am always critizing and challenging him on everything and i debate with him about every little thing!

 

these are what i mean about being inpulsive. i dont think i try to do them, they just come out of my mouth. i guess also because i cannot orgazine time wise things that need to be done, i cant hold a job, i cant motivate myself to do what needs to be done, i can hyperfocus though, and i have all these things that are signs of add but i do not have add, the scan shows i have no add but i do have a mild brain injury and that is probably what has causes me so much anxiety and problems all my life! i am 48 now!

 

my dh thinks is being helpful, he tells me to "pull myself up by my bootstraps", and get going and get on with life, that i do nothing but look for problems in my life, not true, not consciously anyways do i do this or any of these things, i am so hurt by his remarks.

 

he thinks i can control all this that goes on in my head and i swear i cant. first of all he says i do them and dont know that i do them, so how does he expect me to stop doing something i am unaware of even doing? 2ndly if i knew i was doing it and i could stop i am sure that i would.

 

i do not live to have such chaos in my life and conflict. my dr. has started me on ritalin as that is the same treatment that helps the cognitive part of my problems as it does with ritalin.

 

so far it helps somewhat but first i have to be able to see where my problems are and how can i if i cant see them?

 

does any of this make sense? he also doubts somewhat the diagnoses, he thinks it is willful at times and i swear it is not!

 

i know at times i say things and i try to stop myself but when i try to hold it in it feels that it is buring in me.

 

i am not impulsive to any extreme point that i blurt out inappropriate things in settings only to people i know, my kids, him and family, i try not to and i have always seen this behaviour in me as just being opinionated, never as being deliberate or to challenge him or to hurt anyone, yet even though i have felt it was just me being opinionated i still cant stop it!

 

help me to get him to understand this cause till then life is going to be pretty miserable cause he thinks i have control over this and maybe now i am becoming aware of it and that is helpful, yet how am i suppose to know if something is going to be seen as bad or just a normal comment now? seems i wont be able to give any opinions on anything now to anybody without seeming oppisitional. please help me!

[Lucky Dog]

I knew someone once that went through a permanent personality change after a severe blow to the head, but that happened almost immediately.

 

I'm not a doctor, but I don't think that injuries that happened a long time ago can suddenly change your bevahiour many years later. If you are in serious concern, I would seek medical help as soon as possible.

[brashgal]

You sound just like me! Have you always been this way or is it a recent development?

 

My impulsivity issues/confrontational comments subsided after I kicked my husband out (he was unfaithful to me with more than one woman - I had enough). I realized though that we were in a pattern where we brought out the worst in one another - it was all very passive/aggressive. Since he has been gone I have been trying to be a kinder, gentler brashgal - think before I speak, be more kind, less judgemental.

 

I am almost your age too and I wonder if some of my behavior might be attributed to perimenopause hormone swings. I did have some bloodwork done and my doctor says my hormone levels do not show that I am in menopause but I still wonder if the changes haven't triggered something.

 

I've decided to try to a little behavior modification rather than depend upon additional drugs (I'm already on anti-depressants, hate to add more chemicals to the mix). First of all, you have to take care of yourself. Get enough sleep, good food, exercise, water and down time (vacation or hobby time - you time). I have noticed that stress makes the impulsiveness worse. Try to remember to think before you speak - I mean really think - are you going to say something that will make the situation better or worse?

 

You refer to him as your DH - but maybe he's not so darling? Maybe you should try some marriage counselling to see if things improve? I kind of wonder why he is so thin-skinned - I don't see your questioning his taking vitamins at midnight as being offensive - you were curious - how much do you need to tiptoe around him?

 

Good luck - take it day by day - it will get better/more manageable.

[candy candy candy]

lucky dog i have not just started to be this way, i have been this way for many a year! it is not something new it is just seemingly worse for some odd reason or another, lately it seems the more i try to work, clean house, just do normal everyday things that the more i forget! the ritalin does wonders for me, it helps me to feel productive and in a great mood too and i clean the house lickity split, lol, i even cook!

 

brashgal. thanks so much for all the input. you know i never did wonder why he is so "thin skinned", hmmmm, good question and yeah i hate walking around on tip toe, but he says that i push and push and push till he explodes!

 

he says that i keep debating with him on things and the way i see it is just giving my input. i guess i need to just either say nada or just agree with him, lol, maybe that is what he wants.

 

one time he even compared me to his dad! said his dad would never do anything for anybody either because i am kind of shy and i feel uncomfortable doing for others even though they would do for me but i never ask them for anything either.

 

as for your thing, maybe you could get your thyroid checked out and even if your hormones are in normal level you could be easily coming into perimenopause which is hell just as well as menopause!

 

i've been in itnow for five lonnnnnng ass years and along with being hypothyroid, it has made my whole life only worse, GRRRRRRRR. so yeah maybe you can check that one out too.

 

i take thyroid meds and i use an estrogen patch and when i've stopped either in the past it has made me a bitch! lol. dont wanna go there again!

thanks for the help and the thoughts!

[moimeme]

I don't think that injuries that happened a long time ago can suddenly change your bevahiour many years later. If you are in serious concern, I would seek medical help as soon as possible.

 

LuckyDog, she said that she's had problems ever since the injury and she *is* getting medical help.

 

Candy3, ask your doctor if there are any AD/HD coaches in your area. If not, you may have to see a psychologist. Now you're on the Ritalin, you'll be more receptive to behaviour modification therapy and a psychologist who is familiar with treating adults with AD/HD can help you.

 

There are also many excellent books on AD/HD. One that people praise highly is called

What Does Everybody Else Know That I Don't?: Social Skills Help for Adults With Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (Ad/Hd) a Reader-Friendly Guide by Michele Novotni, Randy Petersen

 

There are also a lot of support groups online. If you go to Yahoo Groups and do a search, you'll find hundreds. You can also do a search on ADD Coach or ADHD Coaches and some coaching sites have lists of local coaches.

[brashgal]

Moimeme - are you saying that she may have ADD even though the EEG showed nothing?

[moimeme]

Moimeme - are you saying that she may have ADD even though the EEG showed nothing?

 

AD/HD is a disorder principally of the left frontal lobe. The reason they realized that AD/HD is a frontal lobe issue is that people with AD/HD behave like people who have had frontal lobe injuries.

 

they did find that i have a mild traumatic brain injury i sustained either around 6 months or around 9 years old.

 

I'll bet that that injury is a frontal lobe injury and that's why she's been put on Ritalin, which is one of the main drugs used for AD/HD. The behaviours she describes are AD/HD behaviours and therefore the same CBT type therapies that are used for AD/HD will help her.

 

BTW, EEGs are not used to diagnose AD/HD or at least have not been. Dr. Amen is using Brain SPECT scans, but few other physicians use any form of imagery to diagnose AD/HD.

[blind_otter]

Originally posted by Lucky Dog

I knew someone once that went through a permanent personality change after a severe blow to the head, but that happened almost immediately.

 

I'm not a doctor, but I don't think that injuries that happened a long time ago can suddenly change your bevahiour many years later. If you are in serious concern, I would seek medical help as soon as possible.

 

My personality changed almost completely after I had a sub-acute seizure cluster in 2003. I am kind of glad that it happened. Before this I was pretty damn shallow and self-absorbed. I still have those tendencies, but much less. I am a lot less goal driven, though, now.

 

That said, I have a lot of difficulties in my personal life because of emotional problems from the area where my brain damage was sustained. I get moody sometimes, say things I don't mean, mean things I don't say, I get confused and all turned around and lose track of where I am, what time it is, what I'm talking about -- sometimes I even forget what I am saying in the middle of a sentence!!

 

You CAN learn how to cope with the longterm effects of a brain injury. It just takes time and dedication. Don't blame personality problems on your brain injury though, learn the direct effects and what is and isn't possible and go over those issues and details with your physician and your doctor. In the end you can learn to work through your issues. Good luck.

[CANDY CANDY CANDY]

I do not have ADD, i have a MILD BRAIN INJURY that i sustained either when i was 6 months or around 9 years, those are thee only times i hit my head cept when i was 16 too but i think these behaviours were a problem before then.

 

the test i had was called a quantitive EEG, not an EEG. it tests your brain wave patterns in a similar way as does the EEG but tests for things that an EEg cannot test for like bipolar, ADD, OCD and anxiety disorders.

 

i was found to have the mild brain injury as well as anxiety issues but i didnt need a machine to tell me of the constant anxiety i have on a daily basis that ripples thorugh my whole body, uggggh.

 

so my test say i have increased coherence, which means the waves are too fast which means it deviates away from the normal and signs of that are similar to add like multi tasking efficiently, processing of timely information, and attending to task, verbal/auditory sequencing, means that i get things mixed up when given to me in a sequence such as directions or numbers.etc.

 

then there is another part called phase: i have both positive and negative phase waves which means inattentive and poor memory of which i have and inattion, distractibility and poor memory and task management, so i got it hit with both of them.

 

there is also relative power: says i have increased power over the delta and suggests under arousal results in distractibility, poor attention and lack of concentration disorganization, poor planning and decision making and judgement.

 

there is one last part that is done with eyes open then eyes closed. there should be a change in the brain wave patteren on these but there is no change which is what is indicative of the MTBI(mild traumatic brain injury).

 

it is likened to a low voltage battery, results in poor memory, distractibility, inattention, poor focus, unable to complete tasks, difficulty in shifting between tasks. then also the depression profile was positive and shows a consistent pattern of depression which could be why i am always told that i am dysthymic.

 

ok...that was alot to type out! glad i didnt have to remember that and i looked at my report, lol. so these all correlate with the ADD but are not add.....

[RecordProducer]

Candy, I am not a doctor, but mere brain injury doesn't mean you're mentally ill. I think it's just your personality and your hubby pulls out the worst in you. You think of people as either perfect or mentally defective. Can't you just accept the fact that you have a fault you have to work on and you're husband has his own faults too?

I argue with my mom every day and I hate myself for that. But I must admit that when I am unhappy I fight with her more. When the two of us fight, the kids get aggressive too. It's a vicious circle. My dad is also like that and I think it's in our genes.

You might think of ways to simply improve your life as much as you can. Try not to pay too much attention to everything people say or do. Think twice before you say something.

I might be wrong, of course. I had a boyfriend who had severe mental illness in his family (his sister is schitzo-affective and his father is something else). He wasn't diagnosed anything, but he would say and do the wrong things all the time. He spent a lot of time with my children and never ever touched them or smiled at them even once. When they would approach him and smile at him, he would just stare at them with a cold look in his eyes. When they gently touched his hair he almost yelled at them to stop. He also expected from my mom to cook for him and do his laundry (he doesn't live in my country), he didn't buy my kids any presents, he bought me a CD for my B/day although he makes a lot of money and is awfully stingy about money too. He asked me to marry him and I said yes then he just changed his mind. He said that divorcing a wife he didn't love was as painful as dealing with death of a child (god forbid!). When I told him that my friends said he was a nice guy, he said: "Of course, they said that, I paid for their dinner!" By the way the dinner (which was fast food) cost exactly $10. And lots of examples like these. He would take out of his bag some candies and wouldn't offer me any. He had two instant oat meals left and he said "I am going to have the apple flavor!" (you supposedly ask the other party which one they want first, not grab the one you want like a little kid). He packed back the two pieces of tea left in the box he brought. He didn't like me to touch or caress his face, he felt kinda attacked by that. He said to me: "I am going to lick you, but when you take a shower...not now, AFTER you take a shower!"

But he really wasn't a bad person. It's just that he doesn't have a filter in his brain telling him what to say and what he shouldn't say cuz it hurts other people.

[cyberbabie30]

Hi

 

I have a 16 year old son who was hit by a car back in nov of 02,

He sufferes from severe brain damage to the right front lobe.

He has short term memory loss, impulsive behavior, personality change. His I Q was lowered by 30 percent also

 

He also just comes out and says obsene things weather it be at home or in public.

 

I understand candy candy candy where your comming from and being on the other end and living with my son with this condition it does get stress full for the family at times.

 

one of the first things i did was educate my self and family as to what a brain injury is and how to handle it. So the stress of the situation wasnt go great.

 

the other thing is the my son is in theapry but with people who know about brain injuries.

I do have a lot of problems with him in school and at home because of the impulsiveness. Cursing, screaming yelling at people etc. But as time has gone by it has gotten a little better with him due to the thearpy.

 

Ritiln helps a bit but not completely as i have seen with my son. I also know that with brain injuries there can be other disibilites that can show up later in life.

 

My point is seek theapary with people who are trained in brain injuries and also get the family involed to help you with this and educate them selves.

 

I got lucky my son lived the drs didnt think he was going to do so.

And even though he has this injury people who dont know him wouldnt know he had this injury and take him for being a bad kid. When it fact its his injury that causes these problems. My son was never this way until he substained a brain injury.

 

It hasnt been easy for me but i managed to learn and understand how to deal with it.

Also look up Brain injuries on the web for more information. I dont know what state your from but in New Jersey there is a brain injury asso with a ton of information.

 

One of the things the brain specilists will teach you is how to try to controll your impulsiveness, Its not easy to do for i see my son struggle with it. And half the times he has no clue as to why he reacts the way he dose.

[Craig]

candy, you don't have ADD but some of the treatments/therapies for ADD could be helpful to you. Moimeme had some very good advice, see about getting yourself an ADD coach, go to an Adult ADD meeting in your area.

 

Regarding drug therapies you may find the ritalin works well at first and then doesn't work as well or at all. You could try Dexedrine in place of the Ritalin and see how that works for you. In combination with either the Ritalin or Dexedrine you could see what Wellbutrin does for you or for the anxiety you could try Buspar. Talk to your doctor about these options.

 

I realize you have a mild brain injury, you might call it a "traumatically induced minimal brain disfunction" that just happens to have many of the characteristics of ADD. ADD used to be called "minimal brain disfunction."

[moimeme]

I do not have ADD, i have a MILD BRAIN INJURY that i sustained either when i was 6 months or around 9 years, those are thee only times i hit my head cept when i was 16 too but i think these behaviours were a problem before then.

 

Candy. ADD behaves EXACTLY LIKE A BRAIN INJURY - specifically exactly like the brain injury you have.

 

Once again, the reason that the researchers figured out that ADD was a frontal lobe problem is because people with ADD behave EXACTLY LIKE PEOPLE WITH BRAIN INJURIES. Do you see? Record Producer seems to think ADD is a 'mental illness' but it's just another physical malady - just of the brain.

 

As Craig said, because you are on the same meds as people with ADD are on and have the same symptoms, the coaching will very likely work for you.

 

And, in North America at least, EEG is not yet accepted as a means to test for ADD, OCD or any other such ailment although some biofeedback therapists do seem to have data to show it might be useful.

[CANDY CANDY CANDY]

MOIMEME, i was trying to say that it is not a regular EEG that i had but it is called a QUANTITIVE EEG. maybe you can do a search on the net about it and see what i am talking about.

 

i started on a new med today called concerta 27 mgs. i was on it a while back ago and it caused such awful insomnia that i had to quit. i was then on the ritalin and it did very little to nothing to help me like the concerta did.

 

so i am trying a higher dose of concerta 27 up from the 18 to see how goes and some benadryl at night for sleep. if the insomnia does not go away then i am just going to forget the whole mess and go back to being the way i was before i started all these pills which was lost, forgetful, unmotivated, and a host of other things i cannot even think or right now,lol.

 

so wish me luck! i will look into the coaching that sounds better then these meds that can cause seizures and i worry about that cause i've had a few of them though they were situational and the concerta says it can lower the threshold...pharmacist said though that they are mainly dose related and these normal doses should be ok, so we'll see!