amkxoxo Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 So we dated from March of 2013 to May of 2013 then we were off and on from May-September 2013. He was in a difficult spot in his life. Had just gotten out of a relationship and was graduating from college and going back home, which was far away from me (more than an hour away). I had a year of school left and wanted a serious relationship. At first I think he wanted the comfort of someone there. Someone to cuddle with, to sleep with (we never had sex) and a rebound. But I think what ended up happening was I was someone he actually liked. Not just some girl he used for a while. This caused problems. He told me he never expected to like me as much as he did and this was not what he had planned. He thought he wasn't ready for another relationship yet, but I was someone he was interested in. We would go back and forth, one week he was all into me and things were happy, and the next week I would be crying a lot because he would be distant and cold. He was a good guy and I saw the true him. But I feel like the timing for us was so bad. We never were in an official relationship, but we didn't see other people. We got really close. He is the only guy I have let get that close to me. We never had sex, because I wanted a relationship. We got close a few times, but he was respectful of my choice. I probably ended up chasing him way more than a woman ever should, and I learned a lot about dating and myself through this experience. We didn't break up per se, but we stopped talking for a very long time. I stopped making contact because it was hurting me, I needed to focus on myself, and because of the fact that I knew a relationship wasn't going to happen. But he couldn't seem to let me go. When he never contacted me again, I was at a loss. November and December of 2013 went by with nothing. Then January 2014 we had some small contact. He sent me a short message and I sent one back. It was casual. Then February, March, April, May, June went by with little facebook likes here and there. But nothing else. Finally in July 2014 I was going to be in his area and I sent him a message. I made it casual and if he didn't want to see me I wouldn't have cared. I had been so heartbroken over him but I had built myself back up by this point. He agreed to meet me. Unfortunately my work had other plans and it fell threw. So I didn't get to see him. We messaged back and forth catching up and then nothing again. I have sinced moved for my work and am living a whole new life. I have new friends and some old ones too. Recently a mutual friend of he and I informed me that my ex is moving to this area for work too. Then the small messages started a few weeks ago. My ex telling me he is in town. Telling me he is moving here. But nothing too personal. We haven't seen each other yet, and he makes no move to see me, so I am trying not to care. He hasn't actually moved here yet, but according to our friend its a done deal. I never thought in a million years we would end up living in the same place. I know I shouldn't think this way, but it seems almost like fate is giving us a second chance, and a different time. We are both adults, living on our own, working full time. Maybe we have a shot. I have dated others and fallen for other guys since him, so I am more built up to not falling for him right away or chasing him around, or getting hurt by him again. Many guys have asked me out the last few months. Dating someone and falling for them, and them keeping you around without commitment is the worst thing for your heart and head. I was dead inside and I will never do it again. But I always have a soft spot for him. His birthday is in a few days and I don't know if I should be nice and reach out and wish him a happy birthday. Send a text or something...or if I should let it go and focus on my life and not even think about him? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 I didn't read the whole post / explanation / back story. Many people use birthday's and holidays as an excuse to reach out. They want the other person back but it never works. Once you break up, the other person is more like a stranger. Since you don't go out of your way to send good wishes to strangers, there is no need to celebrate an EX's birthday. If you bump into him within 1 week of the event, of course you can be polite but that's it. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Focus on your own life. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 No. And stop texting him. Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 I wouldn't. Not a good excuse to text an ex! Link to post Share on other sites
Harradin Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 No, let it go. I bought a present for myself (a treat for going NC) when it was my ex's birthday which stopped me from reaching out. Link to post Share on other sites
Summerrose2013 Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Here's how it will go : 'Happy Birthday, have a great day, blah blah whatever' Reply 'Thanks'! Then what??? Don't do it, they take more notice when you DON'T contact them. They can't believe that you would dare to forget their birthday. Link to post Share on other sites
EternalSummer Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Well...it depends. I personally dont think you have to treat your ex as a stranger(if you guys had a good relationship and peaceful breakup, that is) If you genuinely want to wish them a happy birthday, then go for it! It's a nice thing to do, if you're not expecting them to jump back into your arms (which is unlikely) If you're hoping for something more if you wish them happy birthday, then dont do it. It'll be for your own good. Good luck (I realize this post is old, but still...) Link to post Share on other sites
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