Lurkeraspect Posted March 15, 2015 Share Posted March 15, 2015 Since you're obviously not violating the law in your state, your ex can't really put up a fight. You say your son is mature for his age and has a safe place to go if things get out of hand. One thing you didn't mention was how your son felt about being left alone. Does he feel ready? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 My daughter is eight and ill leave her alone locked in my apartment with my cell phone (ive got 911 set on a touch button for her) and my neighbor is her lunch lady at school sometimes ill tell her im stepping out and my kids there etc, ill often go food shopping without her because she doesnt want to come it would be 30 mins or less. My parents started leaving me home alone for about 3 hours or so when I was 12 they would walk down the street to the local pub to have drinks with the neighbors they would call the house and check on me I remember it being the best time id blast music and eat whatever I wanted but at times id get really obsessive and check the back door to make sure it was locked over and over it always scared me a little as our back door faced a large park with lots of trees it would be pitch black and id often wonder who is wandering around in it. I prob wont let my kid stay home alone till 13 besides my notified shopping outings 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 My son was pretty mature for his age and I left him at home in a safe secluded neighborhood with strict rules for about thirty minutes at a time one Saturday about three different times. We were actually moving cars back and forth so we were coming and going. It went fine; he did and has always followed rules to a tee. A few hours after we got home something happened that stayed with me a long time. It must have been just after Halloween and he ran into the kitchen fanning his mouth. I was standing right next to the sink where he approached me. I thought something was burning his tongue and grabbed a glass of water. By that time his face was turning blue and I realized he was choking! I did the Heimlich and out pops a fireball candy! Took years off my life! After that we added no eating at all to the list of rules and I taught him to do a self inflicted Heimlich should he ever need it! No other incidents I'm happy to report! I was baby sitting 9 hours a day at 12 during the summer and overnight by 14! That is terrifying maybe I should consider that rule as well, hmmmm. Link to post Share on other sites
LifeNomad Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 the only way I would personally leave them alone even for a few minutes is if they had their own cell phone and I know they could call me in case of an emergency or something were to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 the only way I would personally leave them alone even for a few minutes is if they had their own cell phone and I know they could call me in case of an emergency or something were to happen. Yikes...we were able to function without cell phones at one point as kids. Those were called land lines. I started staying home when I was about 11....my dad was a single parent and childcare gets expensive. My brother was often home with me (he's 4 years older), but sometimes he wasn't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LifeNomad Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Yikes...we were able to function without cell phones at one point as kids. Those were called land lines. I started staying home when I was about 11....my dad was a single parent and childcare gets expensive. My brother was often home with me (he's 4 years older), but sometimes he wasn't. I was left alone too as a child but idk maybe now im a dad I might over react. My daughter has asked me to leave her at home even if go pick up a pizza which is like a 10 min errand but I still cant. Shes 11 and I guess I might over react but idk I don't feel right. Link to post Share on other sites
Katastr0ph1k Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 (edited) I must be the most laxed person here... My daughter is 10 and I've been leaving her for up to an hour (more recently, up to 2.5 - 3 hours) since she was 8 (no state law with a minimum age here, just like NJ). When I was a kid, I was a latchkey kid in a bad neighborhood for my entire school life. I mean, we're talking first grade from bus drop off until 6ish at night when my mom got home. By 3rd grade, it was days off from school I stayed home alone. For the entire day. I didn't always know a neighbor and we only had landlines... and no 911 back then either (it was starting, but wasn't nationwide). I'm only 33. I'm also a homeschooling mom, so I'm around my kid pretty much 24/7. My husband works almost 2 hours one-way from home and we're 3k miles from the closest family and aren't very friendly with our neighbors and most of our friends have moved away. I have very few "babysitting" options, so trips to the dentist or doctor are when I tend to leave her for an hour or so. My dentist is 10 minutes from my house, my doctor 20. I only go to the Dentist twice a year, and the doctor on an as-needed basis. So, once every other month. If he's mature, responsible, you aren't breaking any laws, then I say go for it. Your Ex can be pissy, but if you aren't endangering your child (leaving him for 2-5 hours in the middle of the night, for instance) and you aren't breaking any laws, I say go for it. Also, very few states have a law. Only guidelines if they have anything on the books at all. When I looked at this 2 years ago, there wasn't even a guideline in Washington State (where I live), though now it's age 10. Latchkey Kids Legal Age Limits Listed By State Also, I'll look for it, but someone once shared with me a chart for how long kids should be left alone for at what ages. It had things like the age, how long and things like "daytime only". It was a nice little chart, I really should try and find it. Edited April 9, 2015 by Katastr0ph1k Link to post Share on other sites
littleplanet Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 The last month of school, I had no choice but to leave him home for 30 minutes alone until I got home from work b/c the after school program had ended; my Ex H, was not at all happy about this when he found out, but he didn't offer to help out at all either. I did what I had to do. My next door neighbor knew this and kept an eye out for him, also had him come to her house often. I allowed my son to stay after school this past week to watch a boys BBALL game being held in the gym, ( I live 1 mile up the street, and my son had his cell) and EX H had a fit...he called me hooting and hollering about this...So, I just wanted to get a poll and see if I am the only one that feels that 12 is a good age to start introducing the children into responsible roles. It would be interesting to note just what your ex's arguments happen to (rationally) be. To me the operative word here, is mature (along with responsible, and accountable.) This is what kids earn. If yours has, then it should be the logical outcome. Things get weird. In the lifetime of my parents, and in my parenting life (my youngest is now 25) it never occurred to us that this sort of decision wasn't based on behavior. We just sort of knew when a kid was old enough. Now.......there seems to be an ever-increasing stigma attached to the societal wrecking crew.....what will people think? Well, they don't know your son. You do. Ironically - in this day and age of instant communication - the ubiquitous cell phone/texter......should a problem of any sort arise, you'll know. Your ex might chip in and offer support in that (just a thought.) Instead of using it as some kind of lame knee-jerk response to your parenting skills. If your son happens to be that mature for his age......obviously, you've done something right! Link to post Share on other sites
lana877 Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 I think he is quite adult to leave him for an hour. Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 How many people have left their child/children home alone to run simple 30min-1 hour errands? My son is 12 years old, I am considering this...of course I would only be a few miles away, and only (at the most) will leave for an hour. I've looked at state laws, and there are not any required ages listed. There is a suggested age of 12 here in the state of New Jersey...I am curious b/c of my ex husband, and what he will have to say about it. My son is very mature for his age, and I'd never leave him home alone if I was going to be over an hour, nor would I leave him if I was going more than 15 min. away. Honestly ... i find these requirements to be made by fanatics who have adopted 'child xxx' as a religion and way of life [more so than receiving God into your life]. I was 8 and my sis was 6 when my parents started leaving us at home for 3-4hs at end. Food was cooked and in the fridge ... no hot plate or microwave so we just ate it like that [not allowed to use the gas stove]. 9-10 and we knew how to cook [ok ... i knew how to do fries and that's about it]. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts