What type of men do women usually have casual sex with?

[NJ123]

I know the cliche is that women go for the "bad boys" & "alphas" when younger. And also a lot of women tend to have more casual sex when younger. But is that really true? I wonder how much truth to the perception that a lot of guys have where they think the women have sex with the jerks & a-holes when young, than want the beta provider to take care of them when older for serious relationships & marriage, who they would have never given the time of day to when younger.

Edited February 10, 2015 by NJ123

[amaysngrace]

Party guys that look real good. That's who.

[NJ123]

Party guys that look real good. That's who.

 

So you're generalizing that women tend to only go for party guys for casual sex?

[amaysngrace]

So you're generalizing that women tend to only go for party guys for casual sex? And than how exactly are men's perceptions wrong if that's the case? Since lets face it, a lot of guys who party a lot especially when younger tend to fit into that douchebag clique.

 

Nope. They're the ones out having a good time so they're the ones that seem the most interesting. If it's casual who cares if they're a little douchey? As long as they look good and can have fun is all that matters because let's face it...sex should be fun.

[Rejected Rosebud]

No, I don't think any of that is true, casual sex is a thing that some people are into, most of them in their younger years like 20's I think, if a girl and a guy are both into it and "feel" each other that way then they'll do it!! If a person is into casual sex they will have sex with likeminded people that they're sexually attracted to, this doesn't mean "bad boys" or douches necessarily at all. Also I bet MOST people who have casual sex phases of their life get enough of that and end up wanting to settle down and their criteria for a husband or a wife is different than who is fun for casual sex. That does not equate to the popular myth that women are "using" boring providers for husbands, I think it is the same for BOTH men and women, Husband / Wife probably have a lot of different qualities than casual sex partners. Building a whole life and having a family are serious business not casual!!

[NJ123]

Nope. They're the ones out having a good time so they're the ones that seem the most interesting. If it's casual who cares if they're a little douchey? As long as they look good and can have fun is all that matters because let's face it...sex should be fun.

 

Okay, than if that's the case than why do a lot of women get upset when a lot of men have the outlook of not wanting to be with the woman who wouldn't have given them the time of day in the past? Since from what you're saying, that's exactly how it is. The women are out having sex with the so called "alpha" douches when younger, than all of a sudden want the "good" guy to be the provider for her when older. Guys view that as a nightmare scenario & want to avoid that.

[amaysngrace]

Okay, than if that's the case than why do a lot of women get upset when a lot of men have the outlook of not wanting to be with the woman who wouldn't have given them the time of day in the past? Since from what you're saying, that's exactly how it is. The women are out having sex with the so called "alpha" douches when younger, than all of a sudden want the "good" guy to be the provider for her when older. Guys view that as a nightmare scenario & want to avoid that.

 

Everybody settles down when they get a little older. Or most people do anyway.

 

Even the good looking party guys.

 

No offense but you seem a little like repellent. Are you always argumentative?

[Rejected Rosebud]

Okay, than if that's the case than why do a lot of women get upset when a lot of men have the outlook of not wanting to be with the woman who wouldn't have given them the time of day in the past?

"not giving the time of day" isn't the same as "didn't have sex with."

Since from what you're saying, that's exactly how it is. The women are out having sex with the so called "alpha" douches when younger, than all of a sudden want the "good" guy to be the provider for her when older. Guys view that as a nightmare scenario & want to avoid that.

would you like what you consider a "good" girl to marry? I bet you would so why is it wrong for a woman to want to marry a "good" guy??

People leave a lot of frivolous stuff behind as they mature you know!!

[NJ123]

Everybody settles down when they get a little older. Or most people do anyway.

 

Even the good looking party guys.

 

No offense but you seem a little like repellent. Are you always argumentative?

 

Nope, but some take it that way. And I understand that everybody settles down, but I'm just asking why women get pissed off when guys have that attitude when from what you're saying it's actually true. Since you say it's "good looking party guys" that women want to have sex with. Why would a guy want to be seen as the settle guy?

[amaysngrace]

Nope, but some take it that way. And I understand that everybody settles down, but I'm just asking why women get pissed off when guys have that attitude when from what you're saying it's actually true. Since you say it's "good looking party guys" that women want to have sex with. Why would a guy want to be seen as the settle guy?

 

The difference is casual and relationship material. Nobody wants a long term relationship with the good looking party guy, well until they change their minds and do, but you didn't ask about relationship worthy. You asked about casual sex.

[Jessie1231]

I have casual sex with good looking, stupid guys that I couldn't carry on a conversation with and therefore would never pursue for a relationship.

[Imported]

I'm gonna guess guys that make their pussy wet and display attitude that promotes they know how to **** and are not shy about it or at least seem like a fun person and not some awkward dude that will probably break down, get angry and make everything all weird and uncomfortable.

[NJ123]

The difference is casual and relationship material. Nobody wants a long term relationship with the good looking party guy, well until they change their minds and do, but you didn't ask about relationship worthy. You asked about casual sex.

 

True, but why are they having sex with these type of guys to begin with if they know their not exactly good guys? The ones having sex with the good looking party guy, what type of guys are these women looking for in terms of actual relationships? I wanted to actually add that question to my first post, but I forgot to.

[amaysngrace]

True, but why are they having sex with these type of guys to begin with if they know their not exactly good guys? The ones having sex with the good looking party guy, what type of guys are these women looking for in terms of actual relationships? I wanted to actually add that question to my first post, but I forgot to.

 

For me I never want a long term relationship with that type of guy. I just want sex.

 

The problem is sometimes you develop feelings and then it's no longer uncomplicated. But deep down you know you still don't want long term commitments from them...at least that's how I am.

[NJ123]

For me I never want a long term relationship with that type of guy. I just want sex.

 

The problem is sometimes you develop feelings and then it's no longer uncomplicated. But deep down you know you still don't want long term commitments from them...at least that's how I am.

 

But than what type of guys do you want for a serious relationship?

[amaysngrace]

But than what type of guys do you want for a serious relationship?

 

Solid and of good character mostly.

 

Why are you asking? Do you want to be someone's casual thing or are you looking to have a relationship?

[NJ123]

Solid and of good character mostly.

 

Why are you asking? Do you want to be someone's casual thing or are you looking to have a relationship?

 

Right now, really neither unless I somehow meet someone by chance. I mainly just posted this topic out of curiosity.

[amaysngrace]

Right now, really neither unless I somehow meet someone by chance. I mainly just posted this topic out of curiosity.

 

You really didn't know this already? Think of yourself and who you want to just have casual sex with and who you want a serious relationship with.

 

They're probably not the same type of girl.

 

It's the same for me.

[NJ123]

You really didn't know this already? Think of yourself and who you want to just have casual sex with and who you want a serious relationship with.

 

They're probably not the same type of girl.

 

It's the same for me.

 

I suppose. But guys can be insecure about this type of thing since they think the guys that women have casual sex with likely are much more attractive & better in bed. I'd add more to this, but that would start a whole other topic.

Edited February 11, 2015 by NJ123

[Standard-Fare]

OP you seem to have pretty black-and-white classifications about "casual sex guys" and "settling down guys."

 

Not all guys who have casual sex are stupid selfish douchebags, and chances are their casual sex is just a phase in the process of gaining maturity. Many people who settle down, men or women, have once been through that phase themselves.

 

Also, not all "settling down guys" are boring dweebs who make women feel safe; in fact most women, doesn't matter what age or status, aren't looking for that. The guy who was a boring dweeb in his youth and rarely gets laid, who remains that way into adulthood, doesn't magically become appealing one day to marriage-ready women. He tends to just remain unappealing. Yet, so does the "casual sex guy" who arrogantly carries that act too far into adulthood without developing real relationships.

 

The point being, this isn't as simple as you're trying to make it.

[Frank2thepoint]

Party guys that look real good. That's who.

 

I have casual sex with good looking, stupid guys that I couldn't carry on a conversation with and therefore would never pursue for a relationship.

 

I wish I was a hot, dumb guy in my 20s, and once I hit my 30s, I would metamorph into current me, semi-smart, average, and wants a serious relationship, like a caterpillar changes into a butterfly. Oh the cruelty of genetics.

[NJ123]

OP you seem to have pretty black-and-white classifications about "casual sex guys" and "settling down guys."

 

Not all guys who have casual sex are stupid selfish douchebags, and chances are their casual sex is just a phase in the process of gaining maturity. Many people who settle down, men or women, have once been through that phase themselves.

 

Also, not all "settling down guys" are boring dweebs who make women feel safe; in fact most women, doesn't matter what age or status, aren't looking for that. The guy who was a boring dweeb in his youth and rarely gets laid, who remains that way into adulthood, doesn't magically become appealing one day to marriage-ready women. He tends to just remain unappealing. Yet, so does the "casual sex guy" who arrogantly carries that act too far into adulthood without developing real relationships.

 

The point being, this isn't as simple as you're trying to make it.

 

I never said all guys who have casual sex are douchebags. But a lot of the ones who go out to party a lot tend to have bad attitudes that a lot of women seem to like even for actual relationships. But I get what you're saying that there's all different types of people which is obvious.

[rester]

I never said all guys who have casual sex are douchebags. But a lot of the ones who go out to party a lot tend to have bad attitudes that a lot of women seem to like even for actual relationships. But I get what you're saying that there's all different types of people which is obvious.

 

 

I don't know about that. I've partied a lot in my days and never found myself partying with people with bad attitudes. People with bad attitudes are not fun to party with.

 

I also don't think women necessarily like men with bad attitudes. Mostly the opposite.

[ktya]

I know the cliche is that women go for the "bad boys" & "alphas" when younger. And also a lot of women tend to have more casual sex when younger. But is that really true? I wonder how much truth to the perception that a lot of guys have where they think the women have sex with the jerks & a-holes when young, than want the beta provider to take care of them when older for serious relationships & marriage, who they would have never given the time of day to when younger.

 

I've had a lot of casual sex over the past year. While I don't think "I'm the kind of guy" as I've been in a lot of LTRs, I can speak from a perspective of a guy who went from serial monogamy to the other side.

 

The guy has to treat them like a human being, not a walking vagina, who respects them. If they are open to casual sex they don't want a guy who will get clingy on them

, that's the anathema for any woman open to casual sex. You have to be confident and fun to be around but not trying too hard just be yourself.

 

Alcohol helps, no woman wants to feel like a slut so if they can blame it on the alcohol all the better, but let them pour their own drinks don't try to get them drunk.

 

They need to feel safe around you, because casual sex for a woman is a lot riskier than for a man and comes with social connotation.

 

Just be a confident nice fun guy make the move and kiss them and go slow and gradually don't push them let them dictate the pace. Ditch the blowhard pick up lines just be real and give them between the lines assurances that you will respect them in the morning and that you will be there for them all the same if they want you to be.

 

Worked for me anyway. Even with girls with boyfriends.

[NJ123]

I don't know about that. I've partied a lot in my days and never found myself partying with people with bad attitudes. People with bad attitudes are not fun to party with.

 

I also don't think women necessarily like men with bad attitudes. Mostly the opposite.

 

But if they don't tend to have bad attitudes, how come the party guys aren't relationship material then & just seen as guys to have casual sex with? And it can't just be because they drink a lot, since the women are there doing the same thing.

 

And you're probably right for a lot of women, but there's a lot of women in abusive relationships but still stay with the jerks. It happens all the time.

Edited February 11, 2015 by NJ123