What type of men do women usually have casual sex with?

[stillafool]

Don't get me wrong, of course it happens. But because women care more about things like being able to provide, they tend to be willing to settle more. Guys are more visual, so a lot of them rather just stay single than get with a woman that their not crazy about. I've heard it a lot that a lot of guys don't want to settle for a woman they don't find attractive. And I'm the same. Why would I want to be with a woman I don't find that attractive? I'd be wasting her time. Women are more able to put attraction aside for a relationship as long as he has other redeeming qualities that they think make up for it.

 

Who told you this? Just because there are SOME gold diggers out there I can assure you this is not the case for most women. We want someone we are very much attracted to, who is good in bed, etc. I think alot of women would rather work a job and come home to a husband they can't wait to be with than to sit home in a palace and wait for a husband they have no attraction to that will want sex. Women are visual people as well. Please don't act like looks don't matter to us.

[NJ123]

Who told you this? Just because there are SOME gold diggers out there I can assure you this is not the case for most women. We want someone we are very much attracted to, who is good in bed, etc. I think alot of women would rather work a job and come home to a husband they can't wait to be with than to sit home in a palace and wait for a husband they have no attraction to that will want sex. Women are visual people as well. Please don't act like looks don't matter to us.

 

It does matter, but looks are more important to men than women overall. And the guys that are great in bed are the ones that are getting the casual sex with women when younger. A guy who's only sex has been in relationships won't be as good as the man that's had a lot of casual sex.

 

And be honest here, would you really date a nice guy you find attractive that's working a minimum wage job? I highly doubt you would & a lot of women wouldn't either for a long term relationship.

[rester]

Well, that's how it is a lot of the time in the U.S. It's likely different in other parts of the world, but here, people care about money & looks. Men more so for looks, & women care more about the man being able to provide. I made a topic about this on here 2 or 3 months ago, & the vast majority of women said that how much a man makes matters if things are serious. I could even link the thread if it's still on here for proof. If it's just casual dating than I learned they'd screw any good looking guy.

 

Please stop generalizing. I'm also in the U.S, and none of the women I have ever dated were looking for a man to provide for them. They've all been able to provide for themselves. The women that are only looking to be provided for can be spotted and avoided, if you wish to.

 

We've obviously had much different experiences despite living in the same country.

[NJ123]

Please stop generalizing. I'm also in the U.S, and none of the women I have ever dated were looking for a man to provide for them. They've all been able to provide for themselves. The women that are only looking to be provided for can be spotted and avoided, if you wish to.

 

We've obviously had much different experiences despite living in the same country.

 

So you're willing to tell me a guy that doesn't make much at all, would be desired for a long term relationship where eventually they'd want kids? I used to believe that until all the things I 've heard women say otherwise.

[rester]

So you're willing to tell me a guy that doesn't make much at all, would be desired for a long term relationship where eventually they'd want kids? I used to believe that until all the things I 've heard women say otherwise.

 

Both women and men are more desirable when they have respected careers and have goals and ambitions, and both women and men need to respect what their partner does in life. This isn't limited to only women.

 

This is anecdotal and only one example, but I have a good friend that is a school teacher. He makes crap for money. His wife makes about 2.5 times what he makes, but he's a great guy and he's doing something noble and something that he loves. He's got ambition and drive and he's a great father. His wife respects him and what he does. The money doesn't matter.

[Woggle]

Both men and women settle so what is so wrong with both not wanting to be settled for. Also just look at the divorce forum on this board and you will see it is filled with men who were blind sided or men who can barely get any affection let alone sex from their wives. A good way of avoiding marrying a future walkaway wife is to make damn sure she is not settling for you. I don't see why anybody would have an issue with man being careful like this.

[NJ123]

Both women and men are more desirable when they have respected careers and have goals and ambitions, and both women and men need to respect what their partner does in life. This isn't limited to only women.

 

This is anecdotal and only one example, but I have a good friend that is a school teacher. He makes crap for money. His wife makes about 2.5 times what he makes, but he's a great guy and he's doing something noble and something that he loves. He's got ambition and drive and he's a great father. His wife respects him and what he does. The money doesn't matter.

 

So you proved my point that money does matter. And men don't care about a womans job anywhere as much as a woman does. Of course as you said there's some exceptions, but for the most part a mans career matters.

[rester]

So you proved my point that money does matter. And men don't care about a womans job anywhere as much as a woman does. Of course as you said there's some exceptions, but for the most part a mans career matters.

 

Of course a man's career matters. So does a woman's. Looks matter, too. So does integrity, humor, a willingness to compromise, honesty, and countless other qualities. You keep generalizing women like all they care about is a man's career and that they will only have casual sex with "awful people". You sound like you are trying to prove some point that most women are gold-diggin biotches and you are better off without them. I don't get it. What is causing you to think this way?

[MrNate 2.0]

Wait a second. I'm confused.

 

Are you after casual sex or a relationship?

 

Or are you bothered that more women didn't see you as casual sex material?

 

 

Instead of women having to constantly justify themselves, what exactly is bothering you in this thread?

[NJ123]

Of course a man's career matters. So does a woman's. Looks matter, too. So does integrity, humor, a willingness to compromise, honesty, and countless other qualities. You keep generalizing women like all they care about is a man's career and that they will only have casual sex with "awful people". You sound like you are trying to prove some point that most women are gold-diggin biotches and you are better off without them. I don't get it. What is causing you to think this way?

 

Because it seems like everyone expects too much out of someone these days. And people these days are always looking for the next best thing to come along. And if they can't find it in time they just settle for someone. And I don't want to settle for someone. I'd rather be single forever than to do that.

[serial muse]

Don't get me wrong, of course it happens. But because women care more about things like being able to provide, they tend to be willing to settle more. Guys are more visual, so a lot of them rather just stay single than get with a woman that their not crazy about. I've heard it a lot that a lot of guys don't want to settle for a woman they don't find attractive. And I'm the same. Why would I want to be with a woman I don't find that attractive? I'd be wasting her time. Women are more able to put attraction aside for a relationship as long as he has other redeeming qualities that they think make up for it.

 

I thought your whole point initially was that too many guys settle?

 

I don't know, I think you're still all over the place and the problem you're having is that you're trying to make generalized theories out of what really amounts to a very personal anxiety. Of course you're going to end up contradicting yourself; you're just feeling emotional about things, based on your previous post about your health. I guarantee that if you were to try posting things about your personal situation and asking for personal advice tailored to you, personally, and not so much about panty-dropping and how much you wish the hot women you desire would only want to have sex with not-hot men, your threads would be less gender war and more open-ended. Just a suggestion.

Edited February 13, 2015 by serial muse

[rester]

Because it seems like everyone expects too much out of someone these days. And people these days are always looking for the next best thing to come along. And if they can't find it in time they just settle for someone. And I don't want to settle for someone. I'd rather be single forever than to do that.

 

What exactly are people expecting that you consider to be "too much"? There's all sorts of people out there that expect very little and also a lot of people that expect quite a bit. Typically the people getting together expect about the same of each other, otherwise maybe one of them is "settling" for less.

 

If your fear is a woman settling for you, you need to find a woman that doesn't expect more from you than you do from her, but you can't expect to date some beautiful high-powered attorney if you're sitting at home eating Cheetos playing video games for hours on end.

[NJ123]

I thought your whole point initially was that too many guys settle?

 

I don't know, I think you're still all over the place and the problem you're having is that you're trying to make generalized theories out of what really amounts to a very personal anxiety. Of course you're going to end up contradicting yourself; you're just feeling emotional about things, based on your previous post about your health. I guarantee that if you were to try posting things about your personal situation and asking for personal advice tailored to you, personally, and not so much about panty-dropping and how much you wish the hot women you desire would only want to have sex with not-hot men, your threads would be less gender war and more open-ended. Just a suggestion.

 

Yeah, it's true I have health issues I'm dealing with & obviously that makes me extremely undesirable. I mean what type of thread would that make? All I'd likely hear is people saying things that aren't true just to try to make me feel better. So yeah, I already admitted there's likely some bitterness in me. But I never said a lot of men settle, just some compared to women. And you probably think I hate women which isn't true at all.

[serial muse]

Yeah, it's true I have health issues I'm dealing with & obviously that makes me extremely undesirable. I mean what type of thread would that make? All I'd likely hear is people saying things that aren't true just to try to make me feel better. So yeah, I already admitted there's likely some bitterness in me. But I never said a lot of men settle, just some compared to women. And you probably think I hate women which isn't true at all.

 

Honestly, "hate" is neither here nor there for me, but you certainly sound like you've already made up your mind that women are going to be shallow and cruel and selfish no matter what, so you certainly don't have a high opinion of us. And, yep, you're going to get pushback on that, because it's a crappy way to feel about an entire gender, not to mention irrational. Welcome to the internet. GIGO. But if you do want real help or thoughtful advice, you have to ask for it. That's all I'm saying. If you need to rant, there's a whole section of this forum just for that, and that's valid too. But this kind of thread will only ever be an echo chamber for you - guys who are also bitter will agree with your viewpoint, and women will take offence, and round and round we go. I personally don't see that as helpful.

 

Edit: By the way, that "makes me extremely undesirable" is, again, your perception, not fact. By your own admission this is based on your fears, not on actual efforts to put yourself out there.

Edited February 13, 2015 by serial muse

[NJ123]

Honestly, "hate" is neither here nor there for me, but you certainly sound like you've already made up your mind that women are going to be shallow and cruel and selfish no matter what, so you certainly don't have a high opinion of us. And, yep, you're going to get pushback on that, because it's a crappy way to feel about an entire gender, not to mention irrational. Welcome to the internet. GIGO. But if you do want real help or thoughtful advice, you have to ask for it. That's all I'm saying. If you need to rant, there's a whole section of this forum just for that, and that's valid too. But this kind of thread will only ever be an echo chamber for you - guys who are also bitter will agree with your viewpoint, and women will take offence, and round and round we go. I personally don't see that as helpful.

 

Edit: By the way, that "makes me extremely undesirable" is, again, your perception, not fact. By your own admission this is based on your fears, not on actual efforts to put yourself out there.

 

Trust me, no one would want to be with me in the situation I'm in right now. It's nothing life threatening or anything, well I guess it could be, but it definitely is setting me back completely. And what type of help am I supposed to even be asking for? Since highly likely I'll just get superficial answers to try to make me feel better about my situation.

[serial muse]

Trust me, no one would want to be with me in the situation I'm in right now. It's nothing life threatening or anything, well I guess it could be, but it definitely is setting me back completely. And what type of help am I supposed to even be asking for? Since highly likely I'll just get superficial answers to try to make me feel better about my situation.

 

Well, for starters, you might want to listen to your own sense of defeat, expressed beautifully and succintly in this very post. It seems that you ascribe this unhappiness to external forces - specifically, women - but in fact it is internally-driven.

 

So, maybe you won't get an "answer" or a concrete path to follow, and I guarantee that you will get some superficial answers because internet, but you may also get some good insight, and regardless, you could do some online soul-searching with the help of a bunch of strangers, and sometimes just talking stuff out brings clarity and makes it less overwhelming and defeating. In other words, it might be possible to take control of this anxiety rather than turning into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

[William]

I'll remind our very learned and clever debaters here that the thread is about the type of men women choose to have casual sex with, not license to editorialize regarding fellow members. You know exactly who you are so we'll let it go at that. If you can't post to the topic, move on to something else. Thanks!

[NJ123]

Well, for starters, you might want to listen to your own sense of defeat, expressed beautifully and succintly in this very post. It seems that you ascribe this unhappiness to external forces - specifically, women - but in fact it is internally-driven.

 

So, maybe you won't get an "answer" or a concrete path to follow, and I guarantee that you will get some superficial answers because internet, but you may also get some good insight, and regardless, you could do some online soul-searching with the help of a bunch of strangers, and sometimes just talking stuff out brings clarity and makes it less overwhelming and defeating. In other words, it might be possible to take control of this anxiety rather than turning into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

Because women don't want a guy in my situation so how am I supposed to feel about anything? Of course there's going to be some bitterness.

[markleymassraff]

I'm "older" (in my 30s) and am having casual sex with an alpha male right now. My last three serious boyfriends were beta males. They weren't totally effeminate, nor did they never stand up for themselves, but compared to the guy I am seeing now (the alpha male), they were totally beta. They rarely/never cursed, and they were just sort of timid in general. One of them drank, but the other two were, like, wouldn't even have a single drink. They would drink water if in a bar.

 

The alpha male I am seeing is so damn hot it's not even funny. I had no idea what I was missing. I did date an alpha type guy years ago, but even he wasn't as hot as the one I am seeing now. The current guy 1) smokes, 2) drinks, 3) curses, 4) is highly educated (went to very strong schools -- has a Bachelor's, a Master's, and is currently working on a law degree), 5) gets a lot of women, 5) is F-cking awesome in bed. He does things in bed that just...goddamn it's so hot.

 

I know I sound crazy, but this is truly what I'm experiencing right now. Overwhelming attraction to a refined, educated bad boy who is funny and says some variation of "f-ck" in almost everything he says but in a totally hot way. And the craziest thing is, he's really sweet to me. For all his "bad boy"ness, it's sort of general. To ME, he is respectful and sweet. He's never said anything rude or hostile to me. He defers to me to choose restaurants, movies, what to do in general, etc. He compliments me all the time about a variety of things (looks, personality, behavior, mannerisms, etc.) But in general, he is a total bad boy who can and does get a lot of women. He wears suits a lot (not ALL the time -- he wears casual clothes too -- but he does have some nice suits that he wears to go out, and he looks wonderful in them.) He is a refined guy and has good morals, politically. He's not a jerk. He's just a bad boy in demeanor and behavior.

 

He's charming as hell. I feel totally in love with him. He's so attractive that I like want to have sex with him even if he has sex with other women (and he likely does). I have never known before the charms of an alpha male, but now I do.

 

I feel like women have to choose between the charms of an alpha male they can't fully have but who they are totally in love with, or the consistency and reliability of a beta male who they may in fact love a lot and be very attracted to but it might not be with the same level of total "in love" intoxication you get when with a charismatic guy who is a leader. The guy I'm seeing...he's not an a-hole leader type...but it's clear that among his friends, he is the leader. I've noticed that this is the case in in-person interactions as well as online (via social media.) No surprise that he is a Leo, lol.

Edited February 14, 2015 by markleymassraff

[NJ123]

I'm "older" (in my 30s) and am having casual sex with an alpha male right now. My last three serious boyfriends were beta males. They weren't totally effeminate, nor did they never stand up for themselves, but compared to the guy I am seeing now (the alpha male), they were totally beta. They rarely/never cursed, and they were just sort of timid in general. One of them drank, but the other two were, like, wouldn't even have a single drink. They would drink water if in a bar.

 

The alpha male I am seeing is so damn hot it's not even funny. I had no idea what I was missing. I did date an alpha type guy years ago, but even he wasn't as hot as the one I am seeing now. The current guy 1) smokes, 2) drinks, 3) curses, 4) is highly educated (went to very strong schools -- has a Bachelor's, a Master's, and is currently working on a law degree), 5) gets a lot of women, 5) is F-cking awesome in bed. He does things in bed that just...goddamn it's so hot.

 

I know I sound crazy, but this is truly what I'm experiencing right now. Overwhelming attraction to a refined, educated bad boy who is funny and says some variation of "f-ck" in almost everything he says but in a totally hot way. And the craziest thing is, he's really sweet to me. For all his "bad boy"ness, it's sort of general. To ME, he is respectful and sweet. He's never said anything rude or hostile to me. He defers to me to choose restaurants, movies, what to do in general, etc. He compliments me all the time about a variety of things (looks, personality, behavior, mannerisms, etc.) But in general, he is a total bad boy who can and does get a lot of women. He wears suits a lot (not ALL the time -- he wears casual clothes too -- but he does have some nice suits that he wears to go out, and he looks wonderful in them.) He is a refined guy and has good morals, politically. He's not a jerk. He's just a bad boy in demeanor and behavior.

 

He's charming as hell. I feel totally in love with him. He's so attractive that I like want to have sex with him even if he has sex with other women (and he likely does). I have never known before the charms of an alpha male, but now I do.

 

I feel like women have to choose between the charms of an alpha male they can't fully have but who they are totally in love with, or the consistency and reliability of a beta male who they may in fact love a lot and be very attracted to but it might not be with the same level of total "in love" intoxication you get when with a charismatic guy who is a leader. The guy I'm seeing...he's not an a-hole leader type...but it's clear that among his friends, he is the leader. I've noticed that this is the case in in-person interactions as well as online (via social media.) No surprise that he is a Leo, lol.

 

lol no way is this a real post. Has to be a troll by how ridiculous it sounds.

[markleymassraff]

lol no way is this a real post. Has to be a troll by how ridiculous it sounds.

 

Jeez, it's real. Wow, why wouldn't you believe it? It's not like I'm even claiming that I have him as a boyfriend. I don't.

[NJ123]

Jeez, it's real. Wow, why wouldn't you believe it? It's not like I'm even claiming that I have him as a boyfriend. I don't.

 

Just seems like a troll post to me. But if it's real, are you planning to settle for someone for a serious relationship that will lead to marriage? I mean you're with your ideal guy now so what type of guy do you want for marriage/kids?

[Mangina]

Jeez, it's real. Wow, why wouldn't you believe it? It's not like I'm even claiming that I have him as a boyfriend. I don't.

 

For sure dude no doubt.

[Ethan78]

I understand the feelings you have (check my posts for my history) but at the end of the day you are trying to create a social issue / debate out of your own gripe with women. The truth is nobody is going to deal with your issues except you. No woman will care if you refuse to be the settle guy in 15 years. The world will keep spinning, and women will keep choosing the bad guys after we are all gone - just as they liked to chase after the Roman gladiators back in the day.

 

I don't want to be harsh, but any anger in your mind is just a waste. I don't know what you illness is, but that is harsh. My sister had an illness for a few years and struggled with dating. I feel for you, but beg angry won't help you.

 

Incidentally, you will always find stuff to wind you up on the internet. The ones who are struggling often shout the loudest, and there is a lot of vitriol to filter through.

[NJ123]

I understand the feelings you have (check my posts for my history) but at the end of the day you are trying to create a social issue / debate out of your own gripe with women. The truth is nobody is going to deal with your issues except you. No woman will care if you refuse to be the settle guy in 15 years. The world will keep spinning, and women will keep choosing the bad guys after we are all gone - just as they liked to chase after the Roman gladiators back in the day.

 

I don't want to be harsh, but any anger in your mind is just a waste. I don't know what you illness is, but that is harsh. My sister had an illness for a few years and struggled with dating. I feel for you, but beg angry won't help you.

 

Incidentally, you will always find stuff to wind you up on the internet. The ones who are struggling often shout the loudest, and there is a lot of vitriol to filter through.

 

Just read some of your thread. It's just hard to feel like I'm missing out though.