What type of men do women usually have casual sex with?

[autumnnight]

No, but a guy needs to make sure that he's with a woman that genuinely really likes him for him. And doesn't think of him any less than the guys she's been with in the past.

 

Or maybe the guy needs to be self-aware and strong enough not to have to dissect and analyze a bunch of crap that happened before she even met him....

[NJ123]

Or maybe the guy needs to be self-aware and strong enough not to have to dissect and analyze a bunch of crap that happened before she even met him....

 

So you wouldn't mind if a woman told you all her exes are a-holes? I think a person's past behavior can still dictate the future. What if she admitted to you she cheated on 2 of her previous boyfriends. Wouldn't that raise eyebrows for you in terms of what type of person you're possibly dealing with? Those are red flags to me.

[NJ123]

I wouldnt say 'wrong' but a woman who finds those sorts of qualities attractive I would not want anything to do with. They tend to crave attention and drama and guys like that seem to provide it for them. The amount of noise they seem to generate, even in a loud club, is extraordinary. I like clubs and loud music, but I find loud people very boorish.

 

I agree. That's the thing since if a certain woman is attracted enough to a guy with those qualities to have sex with, why would I want to be in a relationship with her after she's in her "settling down" phase?

[elaine567]

If the intention is to look for a guy for sex, then obviously the hotter the better, as all his other qualities are immaterial.

That filter is all about looks and sex appeal.

It doesn't really matter if he is kind to old ladies or if he likes kids and dogs or if he earns a heap of money or if he drives a big car? None of that really matters.

He can be a racist, sexist, loser with a nasty attitude and a criminal intent, but if he delivers the goods, then great. Casual sex, great body, she never sees him again.

 

BUT if a woman is looking for a LTR and eventually marriage, then being kind to old ladies, liking kids and dogs or earning a heap of money and driving a big car, DO matter.

For any woman seriously looking for a long term mate, she changes her filter accordingly. Looks and sex appeal take a nose dive, to be replaced by personality, affability, niceness, a caring attitude and the capacity to provide for a family.

Edited February 11, 2015 by elaine567

[stillafool]

So you wouldn't mind if a woman told you all her exes are a-holes? I think a person's past behavior can still dictate the future. What if she admitted to you she cheated on 2 of her previous boyfriends. Wouldn't that raise eyebrows for you in terms of what type of person you're possibly dealing with? Those are red flags to me.

 

My goodness, this applies to both genders. Most women wouldn't want a man who cheated on his past 2 girlfriends either.

[elaine567]

I agree. That's the thing since if a certain woman is attracted enough to a guy with those qualities to have sex with, why would I want to be in a relationship with her after she's in her "settling down" phase?

 

Similarly

"That's the thing since if a certain man is attracted enough to a woman with those qualities to have sex with, why would I want to be in a relationship with him after he's in his "settling down" phase?"

 

It cuts both ways, no woman if she was completely honest, wants to be long term with a guy whose sown his wild oats with loads of casual, loose women either. She doesn't want to be "settled for" when the supply of hotties dries up.

Prince Charming is not usually seen by women as a guy with loose morals, chasing after anything in a skirt, is he?

[E-Squared]

For a guy to have had up to 30 partners, there must be SOMETHING appealing about him, but I am not really sure what.

 

An old friend of mine claimed that he has bedded lots of women, which is not really relevant or of any concern to me. I remember that he has given me crap because I am not out there chasing some strange wool or something, when I would rather be doing something else than trying to look for tail. Personally, I have even read that there are guys who still have casual sex with any woman who would give them the green light, despite how she may or may not be attractive. Not that I would be opposed to something like that, but I have heard about not-so-attractive women somehow offering a guy sex, and the guy still goes for it despite not being attracted to her. It still gets his rod wet, doesn't it? And that's all what matters to some guys, right?

[Woggle]

It is not something I can explain with words but I would know if I was the settle guy. A man who is observant can just tell by her demeanor towards him. I wish I could explain it.

[NJ123]

It is not something I can explain with words but I would know if I was the settle guy. A man who is observant can just tell by her demeanor towards him. I wish I could explain it.

 

What type of demeanor exactly gives you that hint if you could really try to explain it. I'm just really curious since it seems a lot of people don't believe in this being settled for mentality.

[Lernaean_Hydra]

What on earth is this question ....

 

People have casual sex with people they find sexually attractive (for whatever reasons) but don't see themselves in a relationship with/don't view as LTR material (again, for whatever reasons).

 

Maybe the girl likes guys with really big dicks? In her 'casual phase' that's all that matters. Idiot or savant, tall or short, she'll bang him because the only requirement she has is that he's packing giant horse c*ck which she finds sexually exciting.

 

Maybe the guy's a closet chubby chaser? In his 'casual phase' he bangs every girl over 200lbs he can get his hands on because that's what gets him going. Bitchy or kind, black or white, he'll bang them because his only requirement they're BBWs and that he finds them sexually exciting.

[Woggle]

What type of demeanor exactly gives you that hint if you could really try to explain it. I'm just really curious since it seems a lot of people don't believe in this being settled for mentality.

 

It's hard to explain but if she seems less than enthusiastic about you and doesn't seem hot for you chances are you are the settle guy.

[NJ123]

It's hard to explain but if she seems less than enthusiastic about you and doesn't seem hot for you chances are you are the settle guy.

 

But shouldn't a guy know that almost right away? If they feel like she seems dull around him, and seems disinterested, who would stay with them? It's just weird to me.

[stillafool]

But shouldn't a guy know that almost right away? If they feel like she seems dull around him, and seems disinterested, who would stay with them? It's just weird to me.

 

Wouldn't you know this before you even ask her out?

[Woggle]

But shouldn't a guy know that almost right away? If they feel like she seems dull around him, and seems disinterested, who would stay with them? It's just weird to me.

 

Some women fake it well for a while but by the time you get even close to committing to her you should know. If you can't tell then you shouldn't be getting married to her.

[NJ123]

Wouldn't you know this before you even ask her out?

 

Well, they could be interested in you at first, than lose interest later.

[NJ123]

Some women fake it well for a while but by the time you get even close to committing to her you should know. If you can't tell then you shouldn't be getting married to her.

 

True. There's only so long they'd be able to fake it. I mean can a woman fake it for a few years constantly pretending she's really into you? That would be extremely cold.

[Woggle]

Well, they could be interested in you at first, than lose interest later.

 

That is why you wait at least a year before you think about marriage. Give enough time for that new love high to wear off and see if they still fancy you.

[insert_name]

If the intention is to look for a guy for sex, then obviously the hotter the better, as all his other qualities are immaterial.

That filter is all about looks and sex appeal.

It doesn't really matter if he is kind to old ladies or if he likes kids and dogs or if he earns a heap of money or if he drives a big car? None of that really matters.

He can be a racist, sexist, loser with a nasty attitude and a criminal intent, but if he delivers the goods, then great. Casual sex, great body, she never sees him again.

 

BUT if a woman is looking for a LTR and eventually marriage, then being kind to old ladies, liking kids and dogs or earning a heap of money and driving a big car, DO matter.

For any woman seriously looking for a long term mate, she changes her filter accordingly. Looks and sex appeal take a nose dive, to be replaced by personality, affability, niceness, a caring attitude and the capacity to provide for a family.

 

Again that really does not reflect well on the woman if she is willing to sleep with such an odious character simply for the sex.

 

Its often been a theory of mine that for all women complain about douchebags women have the power to dictate male behaviour and get them to change. If a guy thought he was never going to get laid again for being a nasty piece of work who is racist and violent then there is a very good chance that would be as much of an incentive as any for him to reform his behaviour. Sadly men soon learn in life that the worse their behaviour the more women will reward them for it.

 

So wild years or not, I for one would struggle to find anything attractive about a woman who was willing to forego the most basic standards of human decency for the sake of spreading her legs for a vile person.

[Mangina]

But shouldn't a guy know that almost right away? If they feel like she seems dull around him, and seems disinterested, who would stay with them? It's just weird to me.

 

You know those guys that keep working it and eventually land the girl. Yeah those

[NJ123]

Similarly

"That's the thing since if a certain man is attracted enough to a woman with those qualities to have sex with, why would I want to be in a relationship with him after he's in his "settling down" phase?"

 

It cuts both ways, no woman if she was completely honest, wants to be long term with a guy whose sown his wild oats with loads of casual, loose women either. She doesn't want to be "settled for" when the supply of hotties dries up.

Prince Charming is not usually seen by women as a guy with loose morals, chasing after anything in a skirt, is he?

 

But than why do both genders get pissed off when a lot of people don't want to be with them after their wild sex craze days are over?

[NJ123]

That is why you wait at least a year before you think about marriage. Give enough time for that new love high to wear off and see if they still fancy you.

 

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Mangina]

True. There's only so long they'd be able to fake it. I mean can a woman fake it for a few years constantly pretending she's really into you? That would be extremely cold.

When you started the thread I thought it would just be a gender war but now you are bringing up some interesting points I am curious about myself

 

I think the bait and switch is coming up

[NJ123]

Again that really does not reflect well on the woman if she is willing to sleep with such an odious character simply for the sex.

 

Its often been a theory of mine that for all women complain about douchebags women have the power to dictate male behaviour and get them to change. If a guy thought he was never going to get laid again for being a nasty piece of work who is racist and violent then there is a very good chance that would be as much of an incentive as any for him to reform his behaviour. Sadly men soon learn in life that the worse their behaviour the more women will reward them for it.

 

So wild years or not, I for one would struggle to find anything attractive about a woman who was willing to forego the most basic standards of human decency for the sake of spreading her legs for a vile person.

 

Yet people don't get this. No quality man or woman would want to be with a man/woman that sleeps around with nasty people just because their hot. If their attractive with a good personality than fair enough. But if there a real nasty person, than that to me as I said shows there's something flawed with the person's personality in order to sleep with such a person.

[Camaro Guy]

I made a thread like this a couple of weeks ago but it was dismissed by a majority of the people who posted in it. Here.

 

This is a legitimate fear that a lot of guys have, being the "settle guy". Mr. Good Enough.

 

At the root of it I believe, is the lack of seeing the woman or women in question in their primal state of attraction, one that speaks to something vague within us. To be that guy who pushes all of her buttons and the one who sends her into a fever every time. With casual sex, there is nothing external in the way. It is just pure attraction. With relationships, it's "yeah, his nose is a bit funny and he's not as tall as I'd like... but he does make a lot of money and he has decent ethics so he'll be a good provider for my(our) children".

 

Most guys... don't want that. I sure don't. After I came up from the bottom to where I am now, the last thing I want is to be settled upon.

 

I also noticed that someone said that women don't want men who slept around a lot. They don't want the feeling of that but they sure want the experience. They want the ride of courtship, the feeling in the bedroom. That can only be sharped through encounters with a good amount of women. In an LTR, you can do this as well but women generally want to feel as if they're the best you've ever had in an almost virginal state.

 

Being a virgin for a man is a death knell. In society, in social groups, with women. It shows that you lack the hunter mindset and that you fail to be a man. No woman wants an adult child in a relationship. Telling a woman you're a virgin is so embarrassing.

Edited February 12, 2015 by Camaro Guy

[NJ123]

I made a thread like this a couple of weeks ago but it was dismissed by a majority of the people who posted in it. Here.

 

This is a legitimate fear that a lot of guys have, being the "settle guy". Mr. Good Enough.

 

At the root of it I believe, is the lack of seeing the woman or women in question in their primal state of attraction, one that speaks to something vague within us. To be that guy who pushes all of her buttons and the one who sends her into a fever every time. With casual sex, there is nothing external in the way. It is just pure attraction. With relationships, it's "yeah, his nose is a bit funny and he's not as tall as I'd like... but he does make a lot of money and he has decent ethics so he'll be a good provider for my(our) children".

 

Most guys... don't want that. I sure don't. After I came up from the bottom to where I am now, the last thing I want is to be settled upon.

 

Exactly. A good portion of women will settle for less in the looks department, just as long as he's a "good guy" & can provide. It definitely is a fear a lot of men have. But you just have to be smart & not get put in that situation & if you do be smart to get out of it before it's too late. Once kids or marriage are in the picture in a situation like that, than you're ****ed.