How to get noticed, and respect from men??

[Toodaloo]

Apparently to get noticed all you have to do is get your boobs out.

 

Problem with this is that its the not so great guys that like this, the great guys while enjoying the view would not want this.

 

So to get noticed, smile, be happy, talk about whatever you feel like (preferably not blow jobs or anything sexual) and enjoy life in general.

 

Getting respect takes time. Set your boundaries and be very firm with them. No more miss nice girl, if he steps so much as an inch out of line you come down hard and make it clear that if he does that again you walk. if he does it again walk and do not look back. You get respect by having your own life and goals and working towards them with or with out him...

[DatingDirection]

Wait a minute she said she was shaped like Marilyn Monroe, not that she was overweight or obese....

 

That is correct. Thank you. So im going to try a little experiment, im going to take all of this advice, smile, think happy thoughts, walk with my head held high, walk a little more feminine, dress the best that I can. I'm going to take even more care of myself. Eat clean, push weights at the gym, and not give a **** about what anyone else thinks of me, and start to love myself more. Honestly, I think the best thing is for me to love myself, b/c right now I don't love myself. A few years ago I was a size 6. Since then I have jumped to a size 12-14. I'm not happy with this, and I've tried for a year to get back to a smaller size, but it hasn't been happening. As for the guy I was in lust with, but also wanted to fall in love with. We met at a time where I had just broken up with my ex, and I was in a deep depression. Which unfortunately, caused me to not see the better man in front of me. I could have easily made him fall for me more, but my eyes were clouded, and my heart was broken. However, if he was in lust with me, do you think he will ever contact me again, if things don't work out with his new gf? Or maybe that stuff only happends in the movies? Another point is, I know where he works, and maybe in 6 months, once I achieve my health and fitness goals, I can pop in to the place where he works and say hi?

[DatingDirection]

Wait a minute she said she was shaped like Marilyn Monroe, not that she was overweight or obese....

 

And, cuz now a days lazy and flabby is the norm. If you're overweight then you have an "addiction" and need a pill instead of getting off your fat butt and walking a mile. Or you have a "thyroid" issue

 

And, you're considered a superficial pig if you don't accept fat/overweight women as "normal".

 

You sound so cynical Gloria. Also, i don't have a drivers license, i walk everywhere! on top of going to the gym, and if you lived in this city, you would know that to eat very clean and healthy, groceries cost about $60 dollars per WEEK! I GET EXCERCISE EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE, AND I EAT HEALTHY, AND I STILL HAVE AN ASS, AND A CHEST, AND CURVES. AND IM MEASURED UP TO WOMEN WHO HAVE A MALE STRAIGHT FIGURE, AND IM CALLED OVERWEIGHT!?!

[d0nnivain]

Getting noticed & respected are both within your control, respect more so.

 

 

Do you respect yourself? Do you project an air of self confidence & do you draw clear boundaries? Even as a young college kid, people respected me because I didn't put up with BS from anybody. Yes, I could deal with teasing & I'd dish it out as well as I could take it but never from a place where I thought the other person was doing it to put me down. If they were mean, I was outta there.

 

 

I'm no great beauty & have always been built more like a boy then a girl (flat, skinny etc) but I do have great legs. So I'd dress to flatter them when I wanted attention.

 

 

I was also a bit of a female player. I loved the thrill of the chase / conquest but didn't care for the relationship. I always wanted the guy who "never" had a GF who other women warned me to stay away from. More often then not, he'd get serious about me & I'd bolt.

 

 

Do you look men in the eyes when you talk to them? Do you flatter them by helping them to understand that you talking to them is compliment to them? Are you happy in your own skin? Answering yes to those Qs will get you respect.

 

 

When you make a decision to sleep with somebody like your friend, are you making a conscious choice & owning it? Look back even knowing the outcome are you glad you slept with him because it was fun, passionate, good sex, even if it didn't turn into a romantic relationship? If the answer is no, you may need to examine the point at which you decide to sleep with somebody & your reasons for doing so. Without an established relationship, I always assumed sex was just sex / FWB / NSA. If you can't own that, don't have sex outside a monogamous relationship because you end up in a place like where you are now -- hurt.

[Toodaloo]

That is correct. Thank you. So im going to try a little experiment, im going to take all of this advice, smile, think happy thoughts, walk with my head held high, walk a little more feminine, dress the best that I can. I'm going to take even more care of myself. Eat clean, push weights at the gym, and not give a **** about what anyone else thinks of me, and start to love myself more. Honestly, I think the best thing is for me to love myself, b/c right now I don't love myself. A few years ago I was a size 6. Since then I have jumped to a size 12-14. I'm not happy with this, and I've tried for a year to get back to a smaller size, but it hasn't been happening. As for the guy I was in lust with, but also wanted to fall in love with. We met at a time where I had just broken up with my ex, and I was in a deep depression. Which unfortunately, caused me to not see the better man in front of me. I could have easily made him fall for me more, but my eyes were clouded, and my heart was broken. However, if he was in lust with me, do you think he will ever contact me again, if things don't work out with his new gf? Or maybe that stuff only happends in the movies? Another point is, I know where he works, and maybe in 6 months, once I achieve my health and fitness goals, I can pop in to the place where he works and say hi?

 

Take each day as it comes. In 6 months time you may look at said chap and think "nah".

 

Movies are not real. But I can tell you that once you do get happy you will turn heads. I am still getting people asking me what my "secret" is. There is no secret I just rediscovered my boundaries and my love of life. Thats it. In past year I have gone from a UK 24 down to a UK 16/18 since last April while still stuffing my face. I just enjoy life. I go out, I have fun, I eat like a horse and I do the things I love most of which involve exercise of some form! I stopped taking crap from people (friends and acquaintances included) and thats it really.

 

I know I turn heads despite being a bit fat because people keep telling me that they are looking twice, men (most of whom are not a good match but hey ho) keep approaching and I see many people looking at me.

 

Its empowering.

[The Mighty Quinn]

DatingDirection, I think that we get respect when we stop seeking to validate ourselves through how others treat us. It's taken me a long time to get to this point, and yes, I still get hurt by the way men have and sometimes do treat me, but I've learned that if I stick up for who I am and my principals, I can retain the respect I feel for myself. I've learned that not everyone is going to treat you with respect (unfortunately). This happens to everyone whether your unattractive or highly attractive. There are just people out there who don't understand some pretty fundamental qualities of being a good human being. But that's not a reflection on you.

 

You get respect by believing that this man is showing you who he is. You get respect by saying, "That's fine. Apparently you also don't have the qualities I'm looking for. I'm looking for a man that's going to be all in it with me. And that's not going to be you. There are other men who I will have a more successful relationship with." You get respect by being clear, strong and adamant about what *you* want. You set boundaries for *you*, not *him*. Meaning, if he comes back to you in another month and wants to sleep with you, you say (and I mean this becaues this is key), "No, you are not the man I'm looking to be with and I would only be wasting my time with you. You passed on me, what more is there to say?" Sometimes women think a man is going to change. And yes, men can change like anyone else. Sometimes relationships rekindle. But it won't happen in a couple weeks, months or sometimes even years. And you two didn't even have a relationship to begin with other then a hot attraction. You get respect by honoring yourself and setting very clear boundaries about what you're looking for and how you want to be treated. And if you don't know the answer to those questions? Then sit down and make a detailed list of qualities you wish your future man to posses and how you think he should treat you. Because when you run into that man, you will more readily identify those qualities in him then if you had never outlined them for yourself first. Just don't be so rigid and shallow in your wants that you create an impossible standard.

 

 

At this point, get involved with your own life, discover new things about yourself. I know this is all cliche but it's so true. Men are attracted to women who have a passion for the quality of their own life.

 

It's hard. And yeah, I think between cell phones and men having access to internet porn 24/7, their lust to bond with a real female is being severely limited. But it's still possible to find a good man that values human female companionship over any other kind.

 

I will never forget a conversation I had wit ha lovely English woman who asked me what was wrong with the men in America. They didn't flirt or engage and that was very different from her experience with men of her own nationality that were very playful and fun loving about their interactions with women. And this woman wasn't a size 2 either. Although I do think American men believe they are owed a young goddess. That's kind of how our society breeds them to believe.

Edited February 11, 2015 by The Mighty Quinn

[toolforgrowth]

When I was younger, I was all about thin girls. Now that I'm 35, I've found my tastes have changed dramatically. I still find thin women attractive, but I definitely like a woman with shape; hips, butt, and breasts. Women that have a lot of lean muscle are too much like men to me, their bodies are literally hard, when I prefer women to be soft. It's far more feminine.

 

I enjoy a little bit of extra weight on women at this stage in my life. No, I don't find fat women attractive and I have no problem saying that. But gimme some real curves over a matchstick any day!

 

I tend to feel the OP got played somewhat. Her friend was looking for sex and got some, and now he feels awkward about sleeping with a friend. Sucks when that happens. I'd chalk this up to a learning experience about sleeping with friends, mourn the loss of your friend, and yet still put a spring in my step for getting laid. Keep working on you, and use that newfound confidence to your advantage.

[toolforgrowth]

It's hard. And yeah, I think between cell phones and men having access to internet porn 24/7, their lust to bond with a real female is being severely limited. But it's still possible to find a good man that values human female companionship over any other kind.

 

In some cases, I think there's truth to this. But for me, internet porn isn't about replacing women, it's more about having visual stimulation for when a woman is absent. I've always preferred actual sex over porn, and the majority of men I've talked to about porn feel the same way.

 

The distinction for me is I would rather masturbate to porn than be with a woman who is unhealthy for me, regardless of the amount of sex we're having. While amazing, sex is not worth drama and sheer lunacy.

 

Although I do think American men believe they are owed a young goddess. That's kind of how our society breeds them to believe.

 

There could also be an argument that says American women believe they are owed rich Greek gods that cater to their every whim.

 

The problem with these two statements is that they are generalizations that do nothing but create further divide between both genders. Bad apples and bad oranges are both still bad fruit; you just gotta learn how to toss the bad ones out while keeping the edible ones.

 

I can't speak for every American man, but I will speak for me: I don't believe I'm "owed" anything. I seek what I want, and I pursue it when I find it. And I met an incredible lady last year. She isn't physically perfect, but I'm not either. But she's cute as a button, we have good chemistry, she's been nothing short of amazing, and she's absolutely crazy about me. Any man who says he wouldn't take that if the opportunity presents itself would have to be certifiably insane.

[The Mighty Quinn]

TooForGrowth, I doubt most men are looking to use internet porn to replace women. I think that's just a side affect of what happens. You just loose your zest to pursue it in real life when you can just get it a click away. Kind of like how you can drive up to McDonalds and get a big mac instead of killing the wildebeast yourself. I think it just deadens alot of men's drive.

 

There could also be an argument that says American women believe they are owed rich Greek gods that cater to their every whim.

 

False. Women have been on a long journey in securing their own education and careers when 50 years ago, that's the stuff the man took care of. Parents have long ago started to teach their daughters to take responsibility for their own finances. Women are also picking up more of the "date" tabs then ever before where men no longer want to have any responsibility to such things.

 

So as a woman you got to have your own career now, make your own money, still be super hot, AND don't expect a man to pay for your coffee even because a lot of guys don't even want to do that much anymore. Meanwhile, males grow up in an environment where the female body has become an entitlement. And not just any female body, the most beautiful of the lot for any type of man and age bracket of man. Women aren't raised with the same entitlement men are in this regard.

 

But I do realize that I am making general statements. I don't personally think generalizations are terrible to make when they do seem to speak for a collective thought mentality in our society vs individual experiences. We would never be able to tackle a subject if we never thought about the general belief vs the individual experience.

 

Of course, I am sure lots of men settle for real life women. But then again, they can easily go to their iphones or computers to see the kind of women they *really* want. *shrug* that's the world we live in for better or for worse.

[toolforgrowth]

TooForGrowth, I doubt most men are looking to use internet porn to replace women. I think that's just a side affect of what happens. You just loose your zest to pursue it in real life when you can just get it a click away. Kind of like how you can drive up to McDonalds and get a big mac instead of killing the wildebeast yourself. I think it just deadens alot of men's drive.

 

 

 

False. Women have been on a long journey in securing their own education and careers when 50 years ago, that's the stuff the man took care of. Parents have long ago started to teach their daughters to take responsibility for their own finances. Women are also picking up more of the "date" tabs then ever before where men no longer want to have any responsibility to such things.

 

So as a woman you got to have your own career now, make your own money, still be super hot, AND don't expect a man to pay for your coffee even because a lot of guys don't even want to do that much anymore. Meanwhile, males grow up in an environment where the female body has become an entitlement. And not just any female body, the most beautiful of the lot for any type of man and age bracket of man. Women aren't raised with the same entitlement men are in this regard.

 

But I do realize that I am making general statements. I don't personally think generalizations are terrible to make when they do seem to speak for a collective thought mentality in our society vs individual experiences. We would never be able to tackle a subject if we never thought about the general belief vs the individual experience.

 

Of course, I am sure lots of men settle for real life women. But then again, they can easily go to their iphones or computers to see the kind of women they *really* want. *shrug* that's the world we live in for better or for worse.

 

In a way, you kind of proved my point. You reject my generalized statement as false while maintaining the truthfulness of yours. You can't have it both ways, yet you still try anyways. This type of double standard is rampant in women today; "it's okay for me, but not okay for you."

 

Welcome to the world of equality. It's not that men don't want to pick up tabs, it's women getting what they claim to really want: equality. You can't have the same rights as men yet still expect them to take YOU out and pay for YOU all the time. That's why you're independent, no? To take care of yourself?

 

I'll gladly pay for my date, but only because it's my choice. As soon as a women says she expects it of me, I bolt. You claim to be an adult who can take care of yourself...so prove it. Walk the walk. (And I mean "you" in the general sense, not you specifically).

 

My experience has shown me that the majority of women want all the benefits of equality while still keeping the benefits of once being the "weaker" sex (having her dinner and drinks bought for her, opening doors, holding out chairs, etc.). In reality, the two expectations combined are contradictory and incompatible. You can demand one or the other, and accept the consequences of whichever choice you choose.

 

Women do the same thing when it comes to men. They drool over hunks on tv and in movies. Do I look like that? No. Do I blame my girlfriend for looking? Not at all. I can admire a Van Gogh without having to have one on my wall. Thus, is how most men view very beautiful women; fun to look at, but do they really freak out that their girlfriend is normal like mostly everybody else? Nope. Love goes beyond that.

 

Men will respect women whose actions are respectful. There are many women who don't live up to that in today's society.

[DatingDirection]

When I was younger, I was all about thin girls. Now that I'm 35, I've found my tastes have changed dramatically. I still find thin women attractive, but I definitely like a woman with shape; hips, butt, and breasts. Women that have a lot of lean muscle are too much like men to me, their bodies are literally hard, when I prefer women to be soft. It's far more feminine.

 

I enjoy a little bit of extra weight on women at this stage in my life. No, I don't find fat women attractive and I have no problem saying that. But gimme some real curves over a matchstick any day!

 

I tend to feel the OP got played somewhat. Her friend was looking for sex and got some, and now he feels awkward about sleeping with a friend. Sucks when that happens. I'd chalk this up to a learning experience about sleeping with friends, mourn the loss of your friend, and yet still put a spring in my step for getting laid. Keep working on you, and use that newfound confidence to your advantage.

 

 

That's the worst part about it. He was a friend looking for sex. The way he handled the situation, really made me feel very disrespected, and used. I am new to dating and relationships. I was very shy for a long time, and I studied a lot, so I never really had time to build friendshps, and have relationships with men, plus, if I did want a relationship it would need to be with someone whom I really cared about and trusted. I did learn a good lesson here, im not sleeping with anyone until I know that they sincerely care about me, and only want to see him on an intiamate level. The problem is, it's tough to find the right guy for me. I find many men are serious, work aholics, with no childlike sense of wonder, and excitement. perhaps I should change my perception, and get more experience, im not sure. but this last situation with my friend, really hurt me, and I would love to show him up, im not too sure how to do that? I did end up messaging him, and telling him how hurt I felt (I wasn't insulting at all to him) I was polite and sincere. He only wrote me back, happy birthday have a good one. I even wrote to him one last time, and said, that he helped me find a great guy (motivational speaker, named Ralph Smart) on youtube, and then told him that if I could take back the time we spent together intimately I would, and we'd still be friends, but I cannot, I can only stay in the present moment. He didn't respond to that message. I want to forget all about him, but at the same time, I wish I could hurt him the way he hurt me.

[toolforgrowth]

Don't try to hurt him back. Thinking some grand gesture or action will suddenly make him realize your pain will only backfire. Cut the cancer from your life and keep it there.

 

It's so cliche, but it's also true: having a good life is the best revenge. My ex wife had an affair and basically thought I was a loser. Since we split up three years ago, I've gotten in better shape, gotten a better job, have become a much better father to our daughter, have friends and a social life, all that. While she was living with her husband before they got married, she was sending pictures of our wedding day in our daughter's school backpack. Suddenly I'm not the loser she thought I was! Now that I have an amazing girlfriend who treats me wonderful, she's become cold and short and dry. Suits me just fine, she leaves me alone now!

 

People who disrespect you don't think you're worthy of their respect or consideration. Your actions must prove them otherwise. That takes time.

 

I can't help but laugh at my ex wife's behavior. She had her chance, and she blew it. She knows I'm way better now and that I want nothing to do with her ever again. She can only blame herself for that.

[DatingDirection]

Don't try to hurt him back. Thinking some grand gesture or action will suddenly make him realize your pain will only backfire. Cut the cancer from your life and keep it there.

 

It's so cliche, but it's also true: having a good life is the best revenge. My ex wife had an affair and basically thought I was a loser. Since we split up three years ago, I've gotten in better shape, gotten a better job, have become a much better father to our daughter, have friends and a social life, all that. While she was living with her husband before they got married, she was sending pictures of our wedding day in our daughter's school backpack. Suddenly I'm not the loser she thought I was! Now that I have an amazing girlfriend who treats me wonderful, she's become cold and short and dry. Suits me just fine, she leaves me alone now!

 

People who disrespect you don't think you're worthy of their respect or consideration. Your actions must prove them otherwise. That takes time.

 

I can't help but laugh at my ex wife's behavior. She had her chance, and she blew it. She knows I'm way better now and that I want nothing to do with her ever again. She can only blame herself for that.

 

 

 

But at least you had the opportunity to show her what a better man you've become since your divorce. I don't have that opportunity with him, since he is completely out of my life.

[toolforgrowth]

But at least you had the opportunity to show her what a better man you've become since your divorce. I don't have that opportunity with him, since he is completely out of my life.

 

Do you have mutual friends? Trust me, word will get around. I literally see my xW like four times a year, and it's usually only for a couple minutes. In spite of that, she can infer a lot from our daughter. Imagine what adult friends can convey.

 

Besides, once you improve yourself, you'll no longer care what this DB thinks. You'll be feeling too good about yourself and your life, and the people in it, to waste time on him. Usually that's when they start noticing! Lol

[todreaminblue]

To get men to notice you....i think being genuine and interested in them as people helps....not as future dating prospects but as people with feelings too.....respectful behavior towards them gets reciprocated......honesty and openness....not being any way in particular other than just being yourself...attracts men ......i feel if you want to attract men....you behave in a way that is genuine and real....and eventually you will attract the right type of men......as far as dating goes.....i havent had a shortage of offers.....but i just dont date any man who expresses an interest in dating me........ill be a friend to any man regardless of what they look like or what they do...i dont judge them inferior to me.........and that is what feel attracts them to me...they sense that i will listen .....that i am friendly and open..i can be serious i can be fun ..i am a friend..and i am actually genuinely interested in who they are as people....deb...

[CrystalShine2011]

Laugh easily, be honest, and be adventurous. If I was myself as well as those three things in a relationship, it always gained respect.

[DatingDirection]

To get men to notice you....i think being genuine and interested in them as people helps....not as future dating prospects but as people with feelings too.....respectful behavior towards them gets reciprocated......honesty and openness....not being any way in particular other than just being yourself...attracts men ......i feel if you want to attract men....you behave in a way that is genuine and real....and eventually you will attract the right type of men......as far as dating goes.....i havent had a shortage of offers.....but i just dont date any man who expresses an interest in dating me........ill be a friend to any man regardless of what they look like or what they do...i dont judge them inferior to me.........and that is what feel attracts them to me...they sense that i will listen .....that i am friendly and open..i can be serious i can be fun ..i am a friend..and i am actually genuinely interested in who they are as people....deb...

 

 

You know, it's interesting. I am very kind, and genuine, to many people I meet, women, and men. I feel though, I have to put on this mysterious, persona, that eludes men, perhaps into thinking that I will sleep with them. When in fact, I will not, and please not, I am not that girl. I'm the shy sweet girl next door, like the girl on Felicity (show back in the 90's) so for me to pull that other stuff of men, it's not me. I think that, if I do just act like myself, genuine, smart and sincere, men will think that im not interested. Or they prefer the women with a lot of sex appeal, and googly eyes that scream "im open...to whatever".

 

 

And, nope we don't have mutual friends. Therefore, he will never know anything of me anymore. I only hope to transform myself, and get back to where I was a few years ago. I had heads turning, I sincerely did! I was very shy though, and scared of the attention men gave me, b/c I wasn't a mature women, inside I felt like a kid. Now, im still a kid, but with a little more wisdom, and confidence. It's tough finding out how to be 100% woman, when I feel like a kid inside at times. Does anyone else feel like that?

[DatingDirection]

You know, it's interesting. I am very kind, and genuine, to many people I meet, women, and men. I feel though, I have to put on this mysterious, persona, that eludes men, perhaps into thinking that I will sleep with them. When in fact, I will not, and please not, I am not that girl. I'm the shy sweet girl next door, like the girl on Felicity (show back in the 90's) so for me to pull that other stuff of men, it's not me. I think that, if I do just act like myself, genuine, smart and sincere, men will think that im not interested. Or they prefer the women with a lot of sex appeal, and googly eyes that scream "im open...to whatever".

 

 

And, nope we don't have mutual friends. Therefore, he will never know anything of me anymore. I only hope to transform myself, and get back to where I was a few years ago. I had heads turning, I sincerely did! I was very shy though, and scared of the attention men gave me, b/c I wasn't a mature women, inside I felt like a kid. Now, im still a kid, but with a little more wisdom, and confidence. It's tough finding out how to be 100% woman, when I feel like a kid inside at times. Does anyone else feel like that?

 

Although, I must say, when we were out, the last time, I ran into someone I know, and he said "wow, you look good." right infront of Mr. Lust. Also, we went to a social event, where I know some people, and another guy was asking how we know eachother, infront of Mr.Lust. So perhaps, Mr. Lust, knows...that I have class, and im desirable to other people, and likeable, since I know other people besides him?

[Adele0908]

Yes you are probably right. If there was passion from the start, then it wouldn't have taken us a year to connect on that level. Perhaps I felt that I wanted something with him, but really what I wanted was, a close friend, and instead I mixed up my feelings for this person, took it too far, and now we are no longer friends. Although, there was a lot of attraction between the two of us, that's for sure, or perhaps on my end...im new to dating, in fact, im shy. I don't really know how to distinguish a guy that I want something intimate with vs. a guy that I just find really attractive and nothing more.

 

Nobody can love and desire you more than you love yourself. Every morning I look in the mirror and say "I love you", and I highly recommend that everyone do this. We have to love ourselves, even when there are things we want to change about our lives. Most of us have never really experienced unconditional love. Many people had parents that were toxic and criticizing, or received an education that you taught us we have to be book smart to be loveable.

 

A lot of people just don't know who they are. We spend so much time achieving or pleasing others or looking for a boyfriend...that we don't get in touch with our own feelings or our likes and dislikes! If you don't know what you want, then you'll keep attracting the same patterns, because it's the default setting in your subconscious, based on what you learned about relationships and sex during puberty. For example, my parents were controlling and forbade me to date boys, out of fear that I would get pregnant as a teen. So I learned to suppress my sexuality and learned it was not safe to look at males or desire males. This persisted through my entire adult life until I finally asked WHY I kept attracting men that I wasn't attracted to, and the answer came to me.

 

My advice is to love yourself, get in touch with your likes and dislikes, and question your reactions to pretty much everything. All you have to do is ask the question, the universe will provide the answer.

[ktya]

How can I get it together, so that I get respect, and taken seriously, and noticed by men? What does she have that I don't have? Many people see me at very beautiful features, although im not a size 2 or size 8 for that matter.

 

Start with Tinder. Today people are so glued to their phones waiting around for a guy on the street to cold approach you could take forever, and it could end up being totally the wrong type of guy.

 

I will give you a contrarian point of view to what you may have heard, but have sex relatively early on. Maybe not first date, but 3rd. With today's online dating a lot of guys are going to only focus on the girls that they are having sex with to look for something more deep. I know I do, its like she has given me her vote of interest.

 

I dont know what to say about your friend, perhaps he was looking for a FWB and you started talking about relationships? You mention Latin countries; marriage and kids weigh heavily into that culture. I dated a girl briefly who was from a Latin country, and we got into religion and kids in the first phone call, it was somewhat strange.

[RedRobin]

^^ Don't take that advice, OP.

 

 

I'm sorry you were hurt by this guy you dated, but having sex with strangers isn't the path to a healthy relationship for the vast majority of people.

 

 

The guys who expect sex from strangers aren't good relationship material... and are often having sex with multiple women (or trying to) simultaneously. Is that what you want?

 

 

... and Tinder is the very last place to go if you are looking for a relationship. It's mostly for hooking up. If you have had trouble sorting out the liars and users, going to Tinder is like stepping into a den of snakes. Sure, you might walk through and not get bitten by one of them, but the odds are slim.

[DatingDirection]

Start with Tinder. Today people are so glued to their phones waiting around for a guy on the street to cold approach you could take forever, and it could end up being totally the wrong type of guy.

 

I will give you a contrarian point of view to what you may have heard, but have sex relatively early on. Maybe not first date, but 3rd. With today's online dating a lot of guys are going to only focus on the girls that they are having sex with to look for something more deep. I know I do, its like she has given me her vote of interest.

 

I dont know what to say about your friend, perhaps he was looking for a FWB and you started talking about relationships? You mention Latin countries; marriage and kids weigh heavily into that culture. I dated a girl briefly who was from a Latin country, and we got into religion and kids in the first phone call, it was somewhat strange.

 

You're probably 21 years old, which is fine. However, you're also giving me the message to go ahead a sleep with men, even if I don't know them. Setting the bar, for me and basically telling me that is the standard bar for every women. What will you tell your daughter one day? Or perhaps, you did find it strange to even think about having a child one day, and a wonderful monogos relationship. PEOPLE, THIS IS WHERE SOCIETY IS HEADED!?! OUR VALUES AND RESPECT ARE LOST. WE NEED TO CHANGE THIS. AND THOSE WOMEN WHO ARE SLEEPING WITH YOU ON THE 3RD DATE, ARE ALSO SENDING THE MESSAGE TO MEN, THAT IT'S OK, YOU CAN SLEEP WITH ME, AND EVERYONE ELSE, AND LIVE AT HOME WITH MOM AND DAD UNTIL YOUR 40, OR UNTIL THEY PAY FOR THE DOWN PAYMENT ON YOUR NEW CONDO, AND THEN YOU STILL CAN PLAY PETER PAN I AM THE MAN, AND WAKE UP OLD AND ALONE WHEN YOUR 80. MAYBE WITH AN STD IF YOUR LUCKY.

[BearMox]

<snip>After we slept together, he said he was interested in knowing me better, spending more time with me. He also said I was amazing in bed too, while we were sleeping together he said this. After we slept together, a few weeks later, we spent his birthday together, (no sex)...and then a few weeks later he turned around and said that im asking him for more than what he's willing to give to me, and that he started seeing someone else.

 

respect starts with how much you value you. people around you are reflecting this, including low-value men looking for an easy lay.