singlelife Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 At work? At bars? And is there the type of guy women go for? Link to post Share on other sites
Mangina Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 This has all kinds of answers that are true. However most answers on here will be the guy was cheating abusive ******* who didn't care about the girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Author singlelife Posted February 11, 2015 Author Share Posted February 11, 2015 What about lack of sex. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
rocketman122 Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 no set standard in what situation. MOSTLY it because they dont get affection/attention or feel loved desired. sometimes because theyre just a bit whorish and need some ckk meat sandwich. Link to post Share on other sites
Author singlelife Posted February 11, 2015 Author Share Posted February 11, 2015 A lot of wives step out is why I ask. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 no set standard in what situation. MOSTLY it because they dont get affection/attention or feel loved desired. sometimes because theyre just a bit whorish and need some ckk meat sandwich. Excitement/money/sloots? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 What about lack of sex. That's why I cheated. I didn't feel loved and desired and I always had to initiate sex and even then it was on a less regular basis than I would have liked (say once every 6 months or so). I also had an avoidant attachment style where I had difficulty raising my concerns directly all the time and thus I'd lash out. I also tried to initiate a discussion with him but he blanked me out and said it was my fault. I'm not proud of it. I don't mind the relationship ending but at the time, it was the coward's way out. I have no wish to revisit it but I've learnt from my mistakes. I don't think 'once a cheater; always a cheater'. We are all human and we all make mistakes. Some people are pathological cheaters but those types are rare. I felt genuine remorse for it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
LoveRefreshed Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 (edited) I once read something that said things like: She just got a promotion at work. She just had a big birthday. Live altering event (mid life crisis things). Things that make her question her current life situation and make her wonder if she is not on the right path for her happiness. Found it, Yeah, here is the list I read once. http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/6-signs-shes-thinking-cheating Edited February 11, 2015 by LoveRefreshed Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 There is no particular situation in which women will cheat. Women can happily go to bars, out with male friends, etc with out cheating... Women cheat for the same reason as men. Something is lacking in the relationship. So why not rule out the possible causes and not have to worry about your girlfriend going out to a bar or meeting someone at work? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katlover Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Women who take care of the kids all day long, and at the end of the day just want some adult time. And if the husband is not there, she may have a strong desire to find it somewhere else. Women who have boyfriends that don't tend to or fill in their emotional and sexually desires. Women who just cheat anyways for the thrill of getting caught. Sometimes a woman might cheat because she feels insecure. Some women get bored of their long term relationship making them seek out a new, fun, and refreshing connection with another person. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Women cheat for the same reason as men. And by the way in most cases if a woman cheats there is a cheating man in the bed with her. I don't buy this stereotype that everyone who cheats is a totLly flawed and screwed up worthless person. There are issues in their primary relationship that are not addressed by communication. In today's world it is impossible to totally avoid members of the opposite sex that you may have some attraction for. It's how you react to that that determines who will do it or not. Opportunity and poor maintainance of proper boundaries are the reasons women cheat . Your question is so general there are entire books written about the topic . You might want to narrow your question a little bit. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Well, let's be honest. It isn't the situation. It's the underlying need. Cheating is about getting something you want, and you're not getting it elsewhere. It could be sex, it could be adoration, it could be a way to get the motivation to get out of a relationship, or it could just be the need to let loose and do something dangerous or daring. Ultimately, it's selfish, because there is a choice the cheater makes to betray somebody else, even if they know the other person will never know. I'm curious what makes you ask this. Thinking about cheating? Worried that someone is or might be cheating on you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 At work? At bars? And is there the type of guy women go for? Personally I've seen no commonalities. That makes sense because all MW's are unique. However, as venue, I'd say workplace has shown to be more common than any other venue. That makes sense, at least for working wives/partners, since a significant portion of their day is spent at work or with work-related interactions. A close second would be work-related socializing, meaning activities not directly related to work product but occurring out of the work environment. The type of guy varies by MW. Some like their lovers married/involved. Some like them single. Some have EA's; some PA's. Some both. The type of guy they go after depends on the type of affair they wish to have. In some cases, cheating is a means to an end, facilitating their departure from their marriage or relationship; this is known as an exit affair. That type is common in my demographic simply due to the male-female ratio. The only commonality I've seen in my lifetime is that there's no commonality at all and that appearances can be deceiving. Trust, but verify. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 It's the underlying need. Nobody has a need to cheat. Just the desire. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 Whenever she wants to. Same counts for guys. Some people claim they were vulnerable in certain moments and they just couldn't say no when they were alone with them but in fact it's all their choice. Cheaters just don't like to deal with negative consequences of their doing. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 At work? At bars? And is there the type of guy women go for? what woman in particular are you talking about? Different women cheat for different reasons. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 To me circumstances mean nothing, people cheat because they want to. If you are unhappy in a relationship or not getting what you want just leave. The same how if I found a wallet on the ground loaded with cash, even if it I was up to debt in my neck and dead broke I would locate the owner and hand him his wallet without touching a penny. People will always try to rationalize cheating, my partner was this, I was drunk, I felt, he/she made me feel, my soulmate, I was scared, I needed a way out Instead of just communicating to their partner, this is not working and it's over. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Usually because of unhappiness with current partner I think... Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 Lack of romantic attention and not feeling appreciated. They will go to the bar to look for attention and let guys swam around her. Or a bond grows between her and a co-worker. She has work in common and they spend all day 5 days a week together so she is getting more attention from them than at home. Women naturally are attention whores, some worse than others. Some won't step over the line, some find it more acceptable to get involved emotionally (most will choose this route), others will get sexually involved. Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 Self absorption mostly. I cheated on my first bf twice, and I still had no conscious awareness that I had done that until many years later. I was just so self absorbed that the person's perspective I could see was my own. There were no real problems in the relationship besides boredom. The first time, was quite early in my relationship. I was comfortable with my bf, the excitment had gone. Then along came another guy who was exciting. We never had sex but I did go out and meet this fellow, spent time with him, and allowed him to be lead on about my own intentions. I got caught out, and remarkably my bf just took the hit and kept the relationship. Thinking back I can't imagine why really. But there you have it. 4yrs later I took up a sport and met someone else at the club meetings. I told myself we were just friends but at the same time allowed myself to be taken on dates by this guy. One night I stayed over at his house, while still in a relationship with my boyfriend then returned home the next day and broke it off. Informing him that we were over and I was now with someone else. I'm not excusing my behaviour but the most bizarre part about all of it is I had absolutely no conscience about any of it. In my own head my actions were all right and justified and to hell with what anyone else thought. As I said the reality of it didn't even dawn on me until many years later after I had been cheated on by two subsequent boyfriends. I now look upon those last relationships as being my own personal karma for my actions. So I don't have any sorry for me feelings about that at all. I finally got to understand what it feels like to have this happen to you. The emotional rollercoaster, answer seeking and suspicions, the continuous need to seek closure for why someone would treat you that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 (edited) Women naturally are attention whores, some worse than others. Some won't step over the line, some find it more acceptable to get involved emotionally (most will choose this route), others will get sexually involved. What makes someone an attention whore isn't their gender, it's their lack of maturity. Edited February 16, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 I think there are a myriad of reasons why women cheat, and I guess some women will have multiple reasons too, as to why they stepped out. But I think the lack of an emotional connection with their SO is an important reason, because once a woman feels disconnected from her partner, loyalty to that partner loses its importance. "He doesn't care about me, so why should I care about him." Add in, opportunity, then you have the perfect storm. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 Sometimes it's just that a really goodlooking man seduces her and she gives in. Link to post Share on other sites
Author singlelife Posted February 16, 2015 Author Share Posted February 16, 2015 Interesting. Link to post Share on other sites
Grizzly101 Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 I would have bet my life that I would never cheat, but I did. I love my husband, that never changed. Cheating is NEVER okay, under any circumstances and is never anyone's fault but the cheater. However, I do feel that it could have been avoided if my husband would have listened and reacted to certain things. For me, it wasn't something that I was seeking. It literally "just happened". The reason it did was because I got attention from someone who "got me" and showed interest in who I was for being me. I felt desirable. I felt a sense of identity other than "just X's wife & X's mother". I felt alive in the moment after I felt dead for years. It was never about the sex itself. My sex life at home is over the top incredible! It wasn't because he was a hot, young stud. He was not my type, 15yrs younger than me, but we had a mental connection (I'm not being niave, we are still friends) and I fell for his smile and sense of humor. After over 20 years together, things change, you take each other for granted, you get wrapped up in everything but each other. I tried to communicate this. I begged for attention, but he still came home and watched tv with his iPad in his lap and phone next to him. His weekends were a haven for doing things with my son or work around the house. I was last. Except in bed, I was last. We did things as a family, not usually as a couple. What I did was wrong and I can never take it back. I can never take back the hurt I caused. Fortunately for me, it was a wake up call for us both. We are a work in progress, but worth fighting for. But he understands that his lack of listening to me when I begged for him had a hand in it. He accepts that and I accept everything else. Link to post Share on other sites
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