justa_guy Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 As many have already said, circumstances don't cause cheating, mental state of being causes cheating. People cheating is a cognitive thing, it's the result of an unhealthy mental state and the responsibility is solely on the cheater. I was drunk, I didn't feel loved, I was bored, this is all excuses for people not taking responsibility for their own lives and emotional states. Cheating is the response to an unhealthy state of mind, where the person doesn't want to take responsibility or is afraid to change in a healthy way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
persevere Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 Job advancement/promotion Daddy complex Lack of Sex from bf or husband Excitement, because they are a sociopath and have no empathy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted February 21, 2015 Share Posted February 21, 2015 Job advancement/promotion Daddy complex Lack of Sex from bf or husband Excitement, because they are a sociopath and have no empathy. I remember your thread with that crazy girlfriend you had. Has she ever tried to contact you again? It does seem like if a woman is close to their boss so much, it'll possibly lead to something since women get turned on by guys in power. Hear about affairs that happen at work all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
persevere Posted February 21, 2015 Share Posted February 21, 2015 (edited) I remember your thread with that crazy girlfriend you had. Has she ever tried to contact you again? It does seem like if a woman is close to their boss so much, it'll possibly lead to something since women get turned on by guys in power. Hear about affairs that happen at work all the time. Yeah, what a crazy woman. She never contacted me. I did send her a text telling her I knew what she was up to. She replied, ie..."whatever do you mean? I have no idea what you are talking about! Sorry for your insecurities"..Whatever. She was just toooo close to her boss. I am not sure if she told the truth about anything while we were dating. Nothing really added up. I think she cheated on me at that xmas party for the thrill of getting caught. I figured out what happened later. Guest house around back. Both disappeared at the same time. She had been eyeing the path to that guest house all night, and was gone when I came back from the restroom. It's probably best I didn't catch them. I remember she told me her last bf broke up after accusing her of boinking her boss at the company ball they had ( I quizzed her on that, but it was early on .. shouldve bolted...). So, she must get a real thrill out of pulling guys in, even taking them to company functions and cheating on them with her boss there. Simply pure trash. Edited February 21, 2015 by persevere 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted February 21, 2015 Share Posted February 21, 2015 Yeah, what a crazy woman. She never contacted me. I did send her a text telling her I knew what she was up to. She replied, ie..."whatever do you mean? I have no idea what you are talking about! Sorry for your insecurities"..Whatever. She was just toooo close to her boss. I am not sure if she told the truth about anything while we were dating. Nothing really added up. I think she cheated on me at that xmas party for the thrill of getting caught. I figured out what happened later. Guest house around back. Both disappeared at the same time. She had been eyeing the path to that guest house all night, and was gone when I came back from the restroom. It's probably best I didn't catch them. I remember she told me her last bf broke up after accusing her of boinking her boss at the company ball they had ( I quizzed her on that, but it was early on .. shouldve bolted...). So, she must get a real thrill out of pulling guys in, even taking them to company functions and cheating on them with her boss there. Simply pure trash. As said, now you have a fresh start to meet a good woman. That girl seems likely she'll have relationship problems the rest of her life. Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted February 21, 2015 Share Posted February 21, 2015 As said, now you have a fresh start to meet a good woman. That girl seems likely she'll have relationship problems the rest of her life. I don't relationship problems is the only thing she's got. Link to post Share on other sites
Author singlelife Posted February 28, 2015 Author Share Posted February 28, 2015 I think a lot of women have kids with their husband and feel obligated to stay but they are so unhappy that they are open to finding the right person or to even just having fun like a single person would. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Any cheater, regardless of gender, will come up with some type of reason to justify their actions. Feeling Alone, lack of sex, needing validation are pretty common, but like everything else, they are just excuses. Cheaters cheat because simply they can. Every human has the capacity to cheat on their S.O. or Spouse, but many do not. Whatever excuse a cheater has it boils down to one thing....they care more abut themselves than they could ever care about another person. While that may be ok when trying to escape from a fire in a theater, it is deadly in a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
calgary Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 the girl i was seeing was in a long term relationship before me, they broke up because of the distance when they both went to school.. one night she went out with her girlfriends, i had to work the next morning so i didn't go.. she bumped into her ex at the bar. She was drunk, He was sober, he drove her home and they slept together. I only found out about it whilst i was in no contact because my friends found out and didn't want me to know they knew and they thought it would help me get over her quicker. i still haven't confronted her about it. it hurt a lot. i've been carrying it around in my head for 2 weeks and it sucks. I feel like i need to get it out but it won't resolve anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author singlelife Posted March 3, 2015 Author Share Posted March 3, 2015 the girl i was seeing was in a long term relationship before me, they broke up because of the distance when they both went to school.. one night she went out with her girlfriends, i had to work the next morning so i didn't go.. she bumped into her ex at the bar. She was drunk, He was sober, he drove her home and they slept together. I only found out about it whilst i was in no contact because my friends found out and didn't want me to know they knew and they thought it would help me get over her quicker. i still haven't confronted her about it. it hurt a lot. i've been carrying it around in my head for 2 weeks and it sucks. I feel like i need to get it out but it won't resolve anything. Wow. What a bummer. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Nobody has a need to cheat. Just the desire. Just saw this. The need isn't the cheating. The need is what cheating delivers to you. Cheating is the means to the end, not the end itself. Link to post Share on other sites
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