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Second Chances


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My wife and I had been together 7 years and have 2 kids. We met during a time when we both needed something stable. We moved in together after 4 months and then got married a year later. Things were great but over time I discounted her feelings and needs. I had a problem, I had to get my needs met first. We saw a marriage counseler and thing were ok for 2 years. But then my needs became more important than hers again. Things really got so bad that we were both saying hurtful things to one another. I moved out and started seeing a marriage counseler and she filed for divorce, I am still hoping she will attend. My counselor and I have spent a great deal of time working an anger book and coming to terms with my insercurities. I Know I can't change over night, but I have made some progress. I tried to talk to her about working things out, but she says "your the one who left or you suggested we divorce sooner". She fully believes I will never change. I have tried almost everything, love letters, roses, cards, apologies, invitation to dinner. I know that I hurt her when I walked out on our marriage. What can I do to show her I was wrong and will never leave? In the last 4 days things have changed abit. She had a crisis and I was there for her. I gave with out asking and listened when she needed me to. Today we saw a realtor to sell our house and for once she let me buy her lunch. As we ate we discussed our seperation, I acknowledge I was still hurt and she said he was not. I called her later and thanked her for allowing me to participate in the selling of our home. Can anyone explain to me, that clues I am missing here!

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Originally posted by arami99

My wife and I had been together 7 years and have 2 kids. We met during a time when we both needed something stable. We moved in together after 4 months and then got married a year later. Things were great but over time I discounted her feelings and needs. I had a problem, I had to get my needs met first. We saw a marriage counseler and thing were ok for 2 years. But then my needs became more important than hers again. Things really got so bad that we were both saying hurtful things to one another. I moved out and started seeing a marriage counseler and she filed for divorce, I am still hoping she will attend. My counselor and I have spent a great deal of time working an anger book and coming to terms with my insercurities. I Know I can't change over night, but I have made some progress. I tried to talk to her about working things out, but she says "your the one who left or you suggested we divorce sooner". She fully believes I will never change. I have tried almost everything, love letters, roses, cards, apologies, invitation to dinner. I know that I hurt her when I walked out on our marriage. What can I do to show her I was wrong and will never leave? In the last 4 days things have changed abit. She had a crisis and I was there for her. I gave with out asking and listened when she needed me to. Today we saw a realtor to sell our house and for once she let me buy her lunch. As we ate we discussed our seperation, I acknowledge I was still hurt and she said "She was not". I called her later and thanked her for allowing me to participate in the selling of our home. Can anyone explain to me what clues I am missing

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