bohica Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Hey This girl I've been seeing lately usually give me this great vibe and I feel her energy and excitement with me. I am someone who tends to feed off my partners energy. I need to feel the enthusiasm. It excites me and makes me feel confident. I haven't felt it the past day or so. I just got off the phone with her and the conversation had no flow, I didn't feel anything. I was a bit weird. Maybe she wants her space. I can't guess and I can't assume. Is it ok to ask her if she's ok and if she need some space right now? Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Maybe: She got caught in traffic She burnt her toasts this morning She got an unexpected tax bill She got her period early She went to bed late She has a bad hair day Don't get hung up on a 1 off conversation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 I understand that. I wouldn't gut a gut feeling based off one conversation. I said the last day or so. Specifically all of yesterday and today. Link to post Share on other sites
OMC Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Chill dude. Everyone has off day(s) and sometimes weeks. If it continues you can always ask. 'Hey, you haven't seemed yourself the past couple days. Is everything ok with you?' 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Give her some space and direct your energy onto something else, like a hobby or friends. Revisit it if nothing changes in a week. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 (edited) Definitely getting the she's losing interest vibe. She normally would send me a text late at night but I didn't here from her last night. Additionally, yesterday I mentioned I had a big meeting today with a potentially (I own a growing new business) new client and I was a little stressed over it. She didn't comment at all. Doesn't seem like her to not wish me luck or say anything at all. I can be a little over sensitive about that stuff and have the 'unfortunate' ability to recognize when things like that happen. I've been trying to feel this whole thing out because it's new. I admit I was trying not to get too attached too soon but as I said in a previous post she has begun to enter my thoughts on a daily basis. As I said in this post I feed off the enthusiasm of my partner. I'm sure some of you are like that as well. It's at around 5 or 6 weeks so it's in this I don't know how she feels stage. Don't want to say too much, too soon or even bring it up. Edited February 6, 2015 by bohica Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Definitely getting the she's losing interest vibe. She normally would send me a text late at night but I didn't here from her last night. Additionally, yesterday I mentioned I had a big meeting today with a potentially (I own a growing new business) new client and I was a little stressed over it. She didn't comment at all. Doesn't seem like her to not wish me luck or say anything at all. I can be a little over sensitive about that stuff and have the 'unfortunate' ability to recognize when things like that happen. I've been trying to feel this whole thing out because it's new. I admit I was trying not to get too attached too soon but as I said in a previous post she has begun to enter my thoughts on a daily basis. As I said in this post I feed off the enthusiasm of my partner. I'm sure some of you are like that as well. It's at around 5 or 6 weeks so it's in this I don't know how she feels stage. Don't want to say too much, too soon or even bring it up. YOU are concentrating on how she feels about YOU. Perhaps SHE is not feeling well, perhaps SHE has troubles, perhaps SHE is depressed, may be it has nothing to do with YOU at all. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 Where do you see a contradiction? All I am saying is that the past few days I feel her losing interest. I don't see where I said anything that implies the opposite of that at the same time. Anyway. I want to avoid a conversation discussion. Point is, I feel she's losing interest and not sure If I should pull back with out saying anything or ask her. Yes, I fully recognize that it could be that it has nothing to do with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Do you have time set up together for the weekend? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 Do you have time set up together for the weekend? We don't. She works weekends until late. Monday/Tuesday seems to be our date days. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 We don't. She works weekends until late. Monday/Tuesday seems to be our date days. Do you already have something set up for those days? If not go ahead and offer her plans and see how she responds. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 Do you already have something set up for those days? If not go ahead and offer her plans and see how she responds. I will but I am not so sure I want to reach out to her today. I fear too much contact and the appearance of being needy especially if she one that needs her space AND/OR is losing interest. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Since she's being unresponsive, just give her some space. If she has something on her mind, a relative's health, a pet's health, work problems, that would explain it, but seems like she'd have mentioned it to you. So I'd just not contact her until she contacts you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 (edited) She sent me a text message this afternoon. We exchanged a few messages. She said she was sick. I said something to try and make her feel better. This is what happened. Her: Thank you Me: I think you need some Vitamin me and some tlc haha Her: lol I wish, I need to go to work. Funny Me: I try. Here's a weird question. How am I doing so far? Her: With what? Me: (knowing she didn't get it said) You (I originally meant with being funny) but figured I'd fill the gap with this to get a feel. Long pause.......... Her: Ya know that is a weird question. I really don't want to say over text. I need to get ready for work and have to run to the store before I go. Me: Oh, I was just being playful but I think I get ya. Feel better. Ok. She took my question a little serious but since she said what she said how would you feel ? I was sunken to be honest. Would anyone see it as any other thing then her being polite and not wanting to lie or express her disinterest via text message. Me, I personally see this as 90% her being not interested anymore and didn't want to say it via text message. 10% chance she would rather tell me how wonderful I've been in person. So many ways she could have answered in a cute fun way. Honestly, I don't want to hear the rejection in person. I'd rather just pull away now. Edited February 6, 2015 by bohica Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Why on earth would you wait until a girl was sick and struggling to drag herself to work to corner her about your relationship? That was an "it's all about me" move, and a desperate one at that. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 It sounds like she's losing, or has lost, her enthusiasm for spending time with you. I would back off a bit, and wait for her to reach out to you. Or not. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 (edited) Why on earth would you wait until a girl was sick and struggling to drag herself to work to corner her about your relationship? That was an "it's all about me" move, and a desperate one at that. I wasn't cornering anyone into a 'relationship' and I wasn't waiting for anything. You make it sound devious and intentional. Like I'm sitting and waiting for illness to strike before I pounce on for some sort of psychological mind bend to trick someone into a relationship. That's ridiculous. Relationship? Cornering? Really? Your making it about me and what I did, if anything. This was not that at all the case. We continued the text exchange. I went to the store for her. It wasn't relevant to the message I received so I didn't mention it. I'm concerned about a women who I like that may be losing interest. It's what do you think she was saying by her response that I'm asking. That's all. Thank You Satu. That is how I feel. It's one of those deals where I have been trying to back off and when i do I get a text or a message but the vibe isn't the same. Edited February 6, 2015 by bohica Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Thank You Satu. That is how I feel. It's one of those deals where I have been trying to back off and when i do I get a text or a message but the vibe isn't the same. Sometimes nothing is the best thing to do 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eaglestar83 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 (edited) I would advise you to trust your instinct. Something is iffy and you know it. This doesn't mean that you should start asking her questions or whatever. You now have the knowledge that it's very likely something is going on. Use this knowledge to guard your heart and protect yourself. Be prepared. I wouldn't confront her just yet, but be very observant. If this turns into a pattern then sit her down and ask her how she feels about things. Be ready for her to break down and tell u that she no longer feels it. Girls are like that, they can ask you out, hold your hands and the next day tell you they are confused. Not because they lie but they don't know how to handle the situation. If you been nice to her, she will be flipping from feeling guilty to resentful to 'let me give it another try'. She might even be the one asking you out cos of guilt etc and then next day be all withdrawn/standoffish/resentful until eventually she can no longer take it and will flip out on you for no apparent reason, and end it, all the while blaming you for being so stupid cos you just didnt get it. Give her space, but don't expect this to be a sure fix as she might have already decided, for whatever reason, that this isn't working out. Do not chase and keep your self respect and dignity intact. Even if she comes round and text you/initiate meeting, stay on your guard as she might be throwing hot and cold. Be smart, be prepared cos now you know. Good luck Edited February 6, 2015 by Eaglestar83 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 It's one of those deals where I have been trying to back off and when i do I get a text or a message but the vibe isn't the same. Wait until she is feeling better before you make any hasty decisions here. As she is sick, I think the last thing she needs is the third degree over how she feels about YOU... I am glad you went to the store for her, but a bit of genuine sympathy and understanding when women are sick, will get you a huge number of brownie points. Link to post Share on other sites
irresolute Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 (edited) Yes, maybe she's losing interest. What's the big deal? You've dated for 6 weeks? That's nothing. No reason to wait for her to contact you the same time every night either...you soundclingy Edited February 7, 2015 by irresolute 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppygoodwill Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 (edited) You are so sensitive. Like a bird on a wire, twitching at every ripple in the line, poised at any moment to leap and fly away. That's a lot of pressure to put on someone to be constantly reassuring you - by word or deed, spoken or unspoken - that they are still into you. And if you turn it around, think about it from her point of view: "at any moment this guy could pull back if he's not getting whatever signals he thinks he ought to be getting." So no matter how she's feeling -sick, tired, overworked, distracted, bored, annoyed - she's got to put that aside and appear 'interested' to you. That alone could make her pull back. Edited February 7, 2015 by Poppygoodwill 7 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Chill dude. Everyone has off day(s) and sometimes weeks. If it continues you can always ask. 'Hey, you haven't seemed yourself the past couple days. Is everything ok with you?' this is perfect communication ....shows caring about the other person and what is going on with them not how they are making you feel with them being off but genuinely enquiring about how they feel.....its not needy its not encroaching....just simple effective communication...allows a person to open up to you if they are feeling low....or having rough trots.deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 (edited) This is my observation of someone not appearing as interested in me as they were the past few weeks and I'm picking up on that. That's all. I haven't done or said anything different. I am not acting over sensitive with her or expressing any of my feelings to her. In addition, I give this girl a lot of space. We barely talk on the phone, only text a few times a week and have been out once a week on average. However, it has been very positive. It's been going extremely well. She even told me she told her family about me. Until this past week when it all seems to be changing. We all sense when someone changes on us. No one is immune to it. So many responses just seem to be focused on judging me and assuming I am behaving a certain way with her. I'm just trying to figure it out here and gain an understanding of how I should react to it because I like her. Yes, she may have lost interested, yes, I know we have only been dating six weeks. Yes, I know she may be having an off week and yes I even understand she may have met someone else. To be honest this all started after she went out to a big super bowl party. I personally would like to know because if I give too much it may look bad but if I pull away it looks bad too. She is actually on her way here to pick up something and I don't know how to react. Edited February 7, 2015 by bohica Link to post Share on other sites
trolloperative Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 The worst thing you could do is pour emotion all over her. Personally, I would be dressed really nice and just meet her on the way "out." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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