Gaeta Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Haha. I hear ya. We've seen each other once in a week! We didn't have sex. The last time we saw each other was the prior week and we did. OOpss! did you start feeling a change since sex happened? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 9, 2015 Author Share Posted February 9, 2015 (edited) OOpss! did you start feeling a change since sex happened? No. Things were great. She sent me messages the next day saying how great it was. How 'hot' it was. It wasn't until the Super Bowl Sunday. We had sex earlier that week. It's really just been all of last week. Super Sunday she went to a big party with her friends. Told me to keep in contact with her during the day. I sent her a text that went ignored. Didn't hear from her until the next day. We had dinner that night, Monday. I thought that Super Sunday that she didn't show interest in me being with her and didn't get any messages at all. I also learned she had like a 12 hr marathon of partying. I tried not to let it get all caught up in my head because we aren't a couple and she those plans well before we met. I just figure let her go have fun and don't be clingy. Edited February 9, 2015 by bohica Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 9, 2015 Author Share Posted February 9, 2015 Sent her a text saying... Hey there! You mentioned maybe dinner tonight. We on? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 9, 2015 Author Share Posted February 9, 2015 Odd thing just happened She responded by saying "u asking me out on a date mister ; )" I said. "I've been trying but you've been so mysterious. You mentioned tonight so I thought I'd follow up" She said. " I mentioned tonight for u to ask me out properly, not to "follow up" So I called her and asked her out thinking it would be cute and funny and what she wanted. We agreed on a time for me to pick her up. I sent her a text as soon as we hung up "better?" kidding around. She responded: Your not being tested don't ask for progress reports. I just want a little magic and romance. Huh? Now I don't want to have dinner! I've been chasing this girl for 5 weeks. Asked her out every time. Took her to dinner. Picked her up. Even made her a nice dinner one night. Show up with something my hand every time. Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 A woman likes to be pursued and wanted. She could very well interpret you giving her space as a lack of interest on your part. I'm not saying that's right or wrong on her part, but that sounds like what's happening. I'd try avoid hashing these things out over text message though. Makes things awkward and easy to misinterpret. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 9, 2015 Author Share Posted February 9, 2015 (edited) A woman likes to be pursued and wanted. She could very well interpret you giving her space as a lack of interest on your part. I'm not saying that's right or wrong on her part, but that sounds like what's happening. I'd try avoid hashing these things out over text message though. Makes things awkward and easy to misinterpret. I was joking with my response. How can she not see that? All she had to say is 'much'... maybe she had this problem in the past. Listen, I've been chasing this girl for five weeks. I ask her out proper. I pick her up, take her out, open the door for her, and drop her off at the end of the night. I always try to show up with something and I always compliment her. I even cooked her a romantic dinner one night. I recently told her I missed her and she said..."thanks" I want to do more but I get these mixed signals! We have also been dealing with terrible weather every night were both off so I do what I can. This all on top of the fact that I have a ton of things on my mind. Don't take me for granted. I've been a gentleman. Magic and Romance is a two way street. Guys like to be told nice things too. If you act distant and don't give me positive feedback I would only think your not interested in spite of my attempts and I will no longer pursue you. If you stop saying nice things in return I will only stop complimenting you and saying nice things. Act interested. Tell me your having fun. You want to get sensitive about things I say? Ask me how that big client meeting went I told you I was so nervous about. I ask me how my back feels after I just told you It went out. Ya know what I really don't know how to respond and I'm no longer hungry. I have plenty of food in my fridge. Edited February 9, 2015 by bohica 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Eaglestar83 Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 That's the dating game for you, enjoy it, savour it, take a long, deep and slow breath. However, don't let your guard down 100%, master the art of give and take. At the end of the day, people are only human, with failings and shortcomings. Also you will come across a lot more sexy and attractive with wits about you when you don't trust so quickly, so 100%, and why should you? You didn't grow up with this woman, you lived apart for at least 35 years and your experiences may have been worlds apart. Get to know her, enjoy the process, be kind and gentle but do t let your guard down all the way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 9, 2015 Author Share Posted February 9, 2015 That's the dating game for you, enjoy it, savour it, take a long, deep and slow breath. However, don't let your guard down 100%, master the art of give and take. At the end of the day, people are only human, with failings and shortcomings. Also you will come across a lot more sexy and attractive with wits about you when you don't trust so quickly, so 100%, and why should you? You didn't grow up with this woman, you lived apart for at least 35 years and your experiences may have been worlds apart. Get to know her, enjoy the process, be kind and gentle but do t let your guard down all the way. Ya man. I hear ya but not sure how or if to respond to this t all. I am really not up for dinner now and feel I should be a little assertive in my response. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Interesting. It almost sounds like someone, some girlfriends, got to her head during that football weekend. You know many women get super insecure after sex. They're afraid the man will lose interest so they slow down the communication in the hope their guy is going to pick up the communication and really show how much they mean to them. Sounds like there are things you've done that has been annoying her. While you were giving her space she interpreted it as you are lacking interest and she was wishing for you to be more aggressive in your pursuit. I really don't like her attitude but I have seen myself criticizing a man the way she just did with you. I actually did it because I liked him and I wanted him to step up his game a little. Also, you did ask her twice how you are doing with her. She's annoyed by it. Don't do it again, not even for a joke. She wants you to have more confidence in your ability to sweep her away. Link to post Share on other sites
trolloperative Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Bohica, do you like this woman or not? Yes? go to dinner then. She is clearly interested and wants you to pursue something with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 10, 2015 Author Share Posted February 10, 2015 (edited) I went to her house a little early to get her but went up to the door with intentions on speaking with her before doing anything or going anywhere. I started by saying that I am sorry she feels my text was asking for a progress report. It wasn't my intentions but admitted maybe I did it because she's been acting so distant all of a sudden. I then ask her if everything was ok because she hasn't been herself and the past week I've been feeling like she's losing interest. We ended up spilling it all out on the table. She got a little mad at one point but I calmed it. She was mad at some silly things. I told her how much I liked her and how great I thought things were going. We hashed it out for about twenty minutes. I told her it probably wasn't a good idea to go out and that seemed to fuel the fire so I kept it calm again. She asked me to sit next to her and we talk some more. Maybe another ten minutes. It actually went really well in the end. I really get the impression that although she wants to be pursued and wants "romance and magic" she is nervous to rush into anything or put labels on it. A delicate balance if you ask me. I told her I thought we can salvage the night and still have dinner. We went out, things went well. I dropped her off. She said she was glad we talked. It ended with her telling me she can't what to get me naked again. THAT'S ALL I WAS ASKING FOR HERE!!! Damn... Edited February 10, 2015 by bohica Link to post Share on other sites
anna121 Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 OMG so much drama! Sheeeeeesh. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 So what were those things she was upset about? Link to post Share on other sites
Rko28 Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Things ive learnt the past few months, ALWAYS trust your gut, you knew something was wrong straight away, you picked up on it, its like a super power you have. Possibly you should have asked sooner if all was ok but I understand totally why you didnt having been in that position myself recently. Seems like you 2 had a good honest open chat which is brilliant, hopefully thats got rid of the gut feeling, if not then I'd suggest all is still not well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 10, 2015 Author Share Posted February 10, 2015 OMG so much drama! Sheeeeeesh. No Anna...this is just your opinion Your reading details of a situation that i was personally dealing with. It was outlining A particular experience and expressing my thoughts and feelings on the topic. I was trying to avoid drama and get feedback on how to best address the experience. I was putting pen to paper so to speak to express myself. Lastly, we do all have drama that needs to be dealt with from time to time nd im sure your not void of that. Why are you here? Just because you were invited doesnt mean you have to RSVP. I really have a great indifference for those who chime in on forums just to say unconstructive mean or otherwise useless things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 10, 2015 Author Share Posted February 10, 2015 (edited) So what were those things she was upset about? She was upset that i seemed to have been mad at her the Sat night before Super Bowl when she didn't come over because she got held up at work. That wasn't true. I told her that night i wasn't mad she didn't come yet a little upset she kept me hanging two hrs to tell me. I sat waiting for her. She was thinking I was lying. She said she knows the signs of a man lying about something even if it's such a small thing it's a red flag and that she thought its was to soon in our dating experience to be mad at anything. Because of that night she thought I acted strange the next day. I just reassured her I wasn't lying. Mid week she thought my text comment was off putting and reaching for a progress report on how she felt towards me. I admitted fault but only because i thought she was being distant. I wanted to give her space but at the same time gauge what was going on. She seemed nervous and passionate at the same time. Really rich Spanish blood. Both topics she mentioned the fear of entering the relationship zone too soon and becoming to complacent too quick. I get the idea she is a little scared. For her part i did my best just to listen. I spoke my mind and she spoke hers. It was clear that we both thought something was up. It all seems all convoluted this morning and late last night i even thought wtf was that all about. Edited February 10, 2015 by bohica Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Now that you slept on it do you feel like heading to dinner with her? To me this is the living proof of why it's important to not play games! not assume anything! and communication is key. I am happy you went against the advice of 'giving her space and backing up'. I think she likes you and you should let this incident slide. What you think? OH and one last thing, she is Spanish? Get used to a woman with a little bit of fire in her ;-) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 10, 2015 Author Share Posted February 10, 2015 (edited) Now that you slept on it do you feel like heading to dinner with her? To me this is the living proof of why it's important to not play games! not assume anything! and communication is key. I am happy you went against the advice of 'giving her space and backing up'. I think she likes you and you should let this incident slide. What you think? OH and one last thing, she is Spanish? Get used to a woman with a little bit of fire in her ;-) I agree... Yes she is Spanish. Believe me I saw a little of that fire peak it's head out. It's actually part of what I like about her. There's is always the other side of that passion. She is also a Leo, a lot more outgoing then me and much more patient with people. : / I didn't like the whole dinner deal she played out when she said Sat "if i'm feeling better Monday maybe we can grab dinner." She didn't like my text yesterday asking if we were on for dinner. I told her don't say those things in hopes of baiting me to formally ask you out. I assumed it was a casual invite by her and I was just following up. I said I've been asking her out proper for six weeks. I can't always be on point and if that wasn't a test I don't know what was. Anyway, yes I am going to try to forget about it but there is still a delicate balance between chasing someone who wants romance but who also doesn't want to to rush into a relationship. It still becomes when and how much. Lastly, we salvaged the evening and went to dinner. Had a great time. Edited February 10, 2015 by bohica 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 11, 2015 Author Share Posted February 11, 2015 (edited) Just an update: Still not sure about this. I agreed to take a ride with her last night to run an errand. An hour or so after she dropped me off I asked a question (via text) regarding the errand because I wanted to show concern. She never responded. I just don't get it. I can't pursue someone and give them the romance they want if they don't show interest in return. She just doesn't seem as interested as she did. We just had that nice talk! She said she wants to pursue this. How the hell am I suppose to provide "magic and romance" to someone who says they don't want to rush! I am used to a women being a little more enthusiastic about hearing from me and I am not used to someone who says they are interested not responding to contact. I also like a women to show me interest in return and that means taking the initiative and contacting me simply because they want to. I can't do all the chasing. Answer a question, send a hello for no reason, tell me you were thinking of me,... That's not unusual behavior from a women who apparently likes you. If she isn't sweet on me then why does she want this? This time I actually feel like saying something. Edited February 11, 2015 by bohica Link to post Share on other sites
Eaglestar83 Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 You should always trust your instinct, not necessarily act on them, but non the less do not ignore your gut instinct. Reflect on why she is making you feel this way and where it's coming from. At best, if this goes on, it means you two are simply not compatible in that she is too cold and expects the guy to do all the chasing, and you are too sensitive and not the type that would happily go on chasing a woman for months without getting his ego and self esteem hurt. At worst, this girl is not interested and is on her way out. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Did you hear from her since your unanswered text? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 12, 2015 Author Share Posted February 12, 2015 Did you hear from her since your unanswered text? I did but I reached out to her. I sent her a text later on to say hi and to see how she was feeling. I wanted to give the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she fell asleep or something. She responded with in a short time. I didn't mention my unanswered question and neither did she. Ya know, I feel like I put myself or she put me in a vulnerable situation. I am afraid of being myself and giving what I am capable of giving and what she says she wants. I need a little in return. If a women likes a man she usually always reminds him of that in subtle and not so subtle ways. Maybe I've been spoiled...this should be fun and exciting! Thinking of taking a little break to recharge my batteries on this. Maybe she'll come back around. I almost sent her a text saying I'd be in touch in a few days but figured that would look ugly and immature. With Valentines day here at just over 6 weeks dating that causes a whole other thread. Hmmm what in the world am I to do... Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 12, 2015 Author Share Posted February 12, 2015 (edited) ok ok.... I think I need to step back from this girl to charge the batteries. I feel like things aren't going as they should be going and were going. We have been only dating six almost seven weeks. The problem is Valentines day. I don't have strong feelings about the day but I know some women do. I don't even know if she likes or appreciates Valentines day but knowing what I know about her she probably does. Do I suck it up, do something nice and wait or just rip the band aid off ? I do have a heart...a good one too. Am I cold and heartless to do that? She-it... Edited February 12, 2015 by bohica Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 So basically you are asking if you should break up before or after Valentine's Day? I would say break it now. I think she said and did things that killed it for you. It's ok, that's what dating is about. You dated 6 weeks and now you see things in her character that aren't compatible with yours. You tried to overlooked them but they are still bothering you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted February 12, 2015 Author Share Posted February 12, 2015 (edited) So basically you are asking if you should break up before or after Valentine's Day? I would say break it now. I think she said and did things that killed it for you. It's ok, that's what dating is about. You dated 6 weeks and now you see things in her character that aren't compatible with yours. You tried to overlooked them but they are still bothering you. I really did want to do something nice for her. I feel I'm put in a vulnerable situation with this girl. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. Edited February 12, 2015 by bohica Link to post Share on other sites
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