- heart broken - will she come back?

[geronimo]

Hi guys, I really need help. I just got out of a 5 year relationship. The reason my ex gave me was that we're breaking up due to religious/family reasons (we're from 2 different religious backgrounds but same ethnic background). I have spoken to her parents and they like me its just my religion. Anyways long story short, i have spoken to her mom about it but got no where, but now that i step back and look at it (also with my friends input) I feel like she's just using this as an excuse and a cover to get out of the relationship since she knows I can't fight it. She is younger than me (by 3 years) and we're both eachothers "first loves", we never really had any relationship issues other than the religion thing.

My first instinct when we broke up was to go into NC (no contact) right away and it worked, she kept calling me from blocked numbers but eventually I gave in and started talking to her again, big mistake but what could I do, i really loved this girl. Anyways we technically broke up mid october, and after a few weeks of her calling, it turned into me waiting a few days and calling her and talking to her. We even saw eachother a couple times until she finally said that we need to stop contacting eachother because she needs to get over me. I started doing everything wrong, i started begging and pleading and crying. Last time i saw her was in November and we had agreed to see eachother one last time before we stopped talking to eachother. The last time i saw her, i was emotional and i cried and i tried to save the relationship but it got no where, she kept telling me that she loved me and cared about me and even said maybe in the future we might be able to be together but at the moment she can't because of her family and everything.

Now comes the bad news, while we were breaking up there was another guy in the picture, who had told her he liked her, she had told me about him but she said she kinda liked him but wasn't sure of her feelings. I later found out that they're dating within a month of us breaking up. I dont know if this is an immaturity thing because she doesn't have experience or its a rebound to help her get over me. I want to know what you guys think and will she ever come back? Its been almost 3 months since i last saw her (with the exception of seeing her last month - i had surgery and she came to see me for a few minutes, but it was really awkward because i confronted her about her new relationship - again mybad but i later told her that I was happy for her and wished her all the best).

 

Thank you all in advance.

[PegNosePete]

I feel like she's just using this as an excuse and a cover to get out of the relationship

there was another guy in the picture, who had told her he liked her, she had told me about him but she said she kinda liked him but wasn't sure of her feelings. I later found out that they're dating within a month of us breaking up.

There's your answer. She dumped you to be with him, and fed you the religion thing as a smokescreen.

 

Will she come back? The question you should be asking is, why would you want her back? She dumped you for another man.

[mightycpa]

If she does, it will drive you bat**** crazy and it probably won't last. Live your life looking forward. You've had your first love. Now relax, enjoy life for a little while and maybe you'll find your second love.

 

It's a great big world out there, and on a planet with 6 billion people in it, what are the chances that she's the only one for you?

[geronimo]

Yea you guys are right, it just hurts cuz i treated her really well, im not saying I'm some knight in shinning armour but everyone who knew us knew how well i treated her and for her to just throw it all away for another guy after a 5 year relationship is pretty ****ed up.

I know I shouldn't want her back, and it will probably drive me f**king insane but I can't help but want her back cuz I still love her alot fml

[kolleamm]

My ex left me for another guy. Yeah it hurt, so what? The journey continues, you just get back up. She made you weak. Your not weak your strong and you will find someone else now start looking.

[geronimo]

yea man, it just sucks when someone tells you they love you and care for you and they can't ever see a life without you, call you their family and the next second they're dating someone else and pretend like you don't exist.

What makes it worse is that she jumped onto another guy and idk what she sees in him, hes hideous but at the same time that makes me feel worse that someone can leave me just like that after i treated them like a princess and not have any care for it

[kolleamm]

Don't worry I know exactly how you feel and what you are going through I'm in the same boat as you. I formed a bond with someone and then their gone and off with someone else. I know you don't want to hear it and neither do I but when someone finds someone who is better for them they purse that person instead.

 

Deep down I think any person would regardless of what they might think. Do we have a lot of work ahead of us in finding someone else? Oh yea we do.

Will we fail at finding the right person for us? Probably not.

Here are the things you must accept.

 

1. She is not the right person for you and it will never work out between the two of you even if you do get back together

 

2. There will be a reasonable amount of time that you will have to endure that being single feeling before finding someone else

 

3. You will have to pick yourself back up and start looking for someone else after you have finally given up on waiting for her to magically come back and say it was all just a joke.

 

4.You might fail again so keep your eyes open for the little clues

 

5. You might find the one you've been looking for

[geronimo]

Thanks alot, i really appreciate your advice.

I am trying to move on because what it comes down to is, she isn't the person that i loved anymore because the girl that i loved would never do this. Like i said I'm in complete NC and have been for the past 3 months, deleted her on all social media, and her number off my phone, texts, pics, etc etc.

I just want to be over her already because i dont deserve what she did to me, but i know its a process and will take time.

I respected this girl in every way possible, her decisions, her actions and everything and she did the exact opposite. I guess its cuz shes my first love it hard to get over it. I do want her back cuz i love her but you're right it probably wont work out because she isn't the one, as much as i want her to be. this might sound ****ed up but i kinda want her to come back just so i can get the satisfaction of knowing that she realizes how much she ****ed up and how low she made me feel when all i did was make her happy and be there for her when no one else was. Anyways i know this is life we live and she may never come back and i may never get that "satisfaction"