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Testing the waters?


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Quick background info:

She left me 6 months ago. We had a healthy 8 months relationship. No fighting or anything. Just when everything seemed so perfect, she broke up. She claimed she had lost feelings. I dont know if there has also been some GIGS in it, but I guess I will never know. I have basicly been in NC ever since. (Except a few times we ran into each other)

 

 

Now on to my question: :p

If a girl all of the sudden starts to like just about every picture I post on Instagram, would you consider this as a girl who is testing out the waters?

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If the girl you're talking about is your ex, then I think it could be "testing the waters". But liking every photo seems a little more than just testing the waters. It seems like a pretty clear message that she's open to communication with you.

 

Anyway, I guess it depends on who you're talking about, and what that person is like with every other poster on Instagram. Maybe she's just someone who "likes" everything that comes up!

 

As you know more about the situation, I have a feeling that deep down you know what this behavior means. :)

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Simon Phoenix

No. If it means anything, she make a much less passive-aggressive attempt to reach out. You can't assume it means anything as far as reconciliation, because her thoughts on you, the break, and in general aren't necessarily what yours are. She could just really like the pictures, she could miss your friendship but not want anything to do with you romantically, she could just be drunk and liking random things no matter who it is (yes, I've done this before). If it means what you want it to mean, she'll be much more direct.

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If the girl you're talking about is your ex, then I think it could be "testing the waters". But liking every photo seems a little more than just testing the waters. It seems like a pretty clear message that she's open to communication with you.

 

Anyway, I guess it depends on who you're talking about, and what that person is like with every other poster on Instagram. Maybe she's just someone who "likes" everything that comes up!

 

As you know more about the situation, I have a feeling that deep down you know what this behavior means. :)

 

Well. Out of my last 8 posts she liked 6 of them.

Yes she is normally very active on social medias. She posts a lot, and she also interract with many people (likes and comments)

She is a typical 21 year old girl haha.

But when we broke up she immediately stopped commenting/likeing anything from me. And now.... Out of the blue.... She starts again.

 

Anyways... I have been ignoring it so far

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If someone tells you they've lost feelings, it means they're no longer attracted or feeling very "into" you. I'd assume any indirect online contact is just an attempt on her part to make sure you're still around as a Plan B backup in case things don't work out with anyone else.

 

How do you know she's having second thoughts? Simple: she'll let you know, no ambiguity involved.

 

Someone who truly wants to be with you makes it clear... they don't want to risk losing you to someone else!

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Ignore.

 

If she wants to really test the water, she will find a more productive way.

 

If someone tells you they've lost feelings, it means they're no longer attracted or feeling very "into" you. I'd assume any indirect online contact is just an attempt on her part to make sure you're still around as a Plan B backup in case things don't work out with anyone else.

 

How do you know she's having second thoughts? Simple: she'll let you know, no ambiguity involved.

 

Someone who truly wants to be with you makes it clear... they don't want to risk losing you to someone else!

 

Thanks a lot for both replies. That is also why I keep ignoring her.

If she really is having second thought she can use her words and tell me. And I am not gonna be plan B :)

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AntonJ,

 

Allow me to fill in the blanks.

 

She left me 6 months ago.

 

For someone else.

 

We had a healthy 8 months relationship. No fighting or anything. Just when everything seemed so perfect, she broke up.

 

Because she wanted to be with someone else.

 

 

She claimed she had lost feelings.

 

because she gained feelings for someone else.

 

I dont know if there has also been some GIGS in it, but I guess I will never know. I have basicly been in NC ever since. (Except a few times we ran into each other)

 

From far away the grass looked greener to her and she jumped to the greener grass for the closer inspection.

 

 

Now on to my question: :p

If a girl all of the sudden starts to like just about every picture I post on Instagram, would you consider this as a girl who is testing out the waters?

 

No, she's not trying to test out the waters, she's testing where your head is at, if you would allow her to friendzone you and keep you as a backup plan. She wants you to tell her that she's wonderful and she's still on your mind, she did nothing wrong to you, you are okay with the breakup and also tell her not to feel guilty about it.

 

You might want to remove this girl, if she's seeking a reconciliation, she will make it more clearer.

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You might want to remove this girl, if she's seeking a reconciliation, she will make it more clearer.

 

 

Agreed. If you really need to know, I would block her on I.G. and see if she then tries to actually communicate a desire to reconcile. Then you'll have your answer.

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AntonJ,

 

Allow me to fill in the blanks.

 

 

 

For someone else.

 

 

 

Because she wanted to be with someone else.

 

 

 

 

because she gained feelings for someone else.

 

 

 

From far away the grass looked greener to her and she jumped to the greener grass for the closer inspection.

 

 

 

 

No, she's not trying to test out the waters, she's testing where your head is at, if you would allow her to friendzone you and keep you as a backup plan. She wants you to tell her that she's wonderful and she's still on your mind, she did nothing wrong to you, you are okay with the breakup and also tell her not to feel guilty about it.

 

You might want to remove this girl, if she's seeking a reconciliation, she will make it more clearer.

 

This was also my thought. There has been no sign at all that she has another guy, but she could just be hiding it.

 

But yes: I agree with you. It seems like a move to "keep me around, just in case"... I am not going to do anything about it.

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