Under The Radar Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 (edited) The movie with Demi Moore, Woody Harrelson, and Robert Redford where the billionaire offers a married couple 1 million dollars for an evening of consensual sex with the wife. I hadn't seen the movie in about 17 years, but it got me thinking what I would do in that situation. I'm not married, but I know I wouldn't want to share my wife with another man, nor would I want her to have a cavalier attitude with regard to sharing me. So, my initial thought was no way ...... I would not accept such an offer. However, the pensive part of my personality kept me coming back to the question over the next few hours. I definitely wouldn't accept such a proposition simply for sex with an attractive woman ...... even if my wife was seemingly ok with it. As well, I wouldn't do it for the money if it meant just using it for fun ...... like buying a Ferrari, traveling the world, or anything else along those lines. If I was in danger of losing our home, or worse, needed money to pay for a medical procedure that would save someone close to us ...... I think under those circumstances it would be hard to say no. I am sure there are people who would do it for no money ...... especially if the individual making the proposition is very attractive. So, here is my hypothetical, and cheesy, question to the board: Would you be ok with your wife or husband sleeping with another person ...... one time ...... in exchange for a large sum of money that would definitely be life changing for the two of you? Call it morbid curiosity ... Edited February 12, 2015 by Training Revelations 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 The movie with Demi Moore, Woody Harrelson, and Robert Redford where the billionaire offers a married couple 1 million dollars for an evening of consensual sex with the wife. I hadn't seen the movie in about 17 years, but it got me thinking what I would do in that situation. I'm not married, but I know I wouldn't want to share my wife with another man, nor would I want her to have a cavalier attitude with regard to sharing me. So, my initial thought was no way ...... I would not accept such an offer. However, the pensive part of my personality kept me coming back to the question over the next few hours. I definitely wouldn't accept such a proposition simply for sex with an attractive woman ...... even if my wife was seemingly ok with it. As well, I wouldn't do it for the money if it meant just using it for fun ...... like buying a Ferrari, traveling the world, or anything else along those lines. If I was in danger of losing our home, or worse, needed money to pay for a medical procedure that would save someone close to us ...... I think under those circumstances it would be hard to say no. I am sure there are people who would do it for no money ...... especially if the individual making the proposition is very attractive. So, here is my hypothetical, and cheesy, question to the board: Would you be ok with your wife or husband sleeping with another person ...... one time ...... in exchange for a large sum of money that would definitely be life changing for the two of you? Call it morbid curiosity ... lol I actually love that movie. I remember when I seen it when I was like 9 or 10 years old But in terms of you're question I would absolutely not allow my wife or girlfriend (if I had one...) to sleep with someone else no matter how much money it is. The ONLY way I'd consider it is if there was a 99% chance of us breaking up & not being together for the long term. We could just split the money & than mutually go our separate ways. Link to post Share on other sites
JohnAdams Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 So, here is my hypothetical, and cheesy, question to the board: Would you be ok with your wife or husband sleeping with another person ...... one time ...... in exchange for a large sum of money that would definitely be life changing for the two of you? Call it morbid curiosity ... No................ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
purplesorrow Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Well.... He did it for free with some random not wealthy ow. So yep, split the cash and move on to my new life. ? If he has always been faithful. No. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Under The Radar Posted February 13, 2015 Author Share Posted February 13, 2015 Well.... He did it for free with some random not wealthy ow. So yep, split the cash and move on to my new life. ? If he has always been faithful. No. I am sorry to hear you were betrayed. I don't think cheating is ever ok or something to be justified. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 here's a modern twist... He goes ahead and does it, then tells me he won the lottery. Noone is the wiser. On second thought, nah. Because my next thought would be... how would I be sure the a-hole would pay up? lol. Then finally, I'd come to no. Money comes and goes. But the kind of trust that comes with life time fidelity... you can't buy. No way, no how. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 no....i cant share not for a million dollars.....not for anything....ill share most things even chocolate or my shoes off my feet...not a man...i have had guys cheat on me...i have had enough of that lifestyle to last a million dollars and beyond..if a partner of mine would palm me off to a guy for money, knowing me personally and my history...i would know he didnt care for me at all....and that all i was was a hooker in his eyes for him to share round for cash deposits in a bank account....i dont need a pimp to live that life.....i choose not to live it........hypothetically.....and in reality it is prostitution...i have known guys...who would sell me for far less....i dont want to be involved with a guy ever who would look at me like a financial cash cow..the movie itself.....says it all...it is an indecent proposal....one that should not be contemplated by decent people.......deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Under The Radar Posted February 13, 2015 Author Share Posted February 13, 2015 here's a modern twist... He goes ahead and does it, then tells me he won the lottery. Noone is the wiser. On second thought, nah. Because my next thought would be... how would I be sure the a-hole would pay up? lol. Then finally, I'd come to no. Money comes and goes. But the kind of trust that comes with life time fidelity... you can't buy. No way, no how. Thanks for chiming in RR ...... I would have guessed your position would be such ...... respectable. I remember seeing the movie in 1993 when I was 19 years old ...... then again a few years later. I never put much thought into it. I re-watched it recently and wondered what other people would do in a similar situation. The movie does a good job, IMO, at getting the viewer to think about it. Anyway, as you mentioned, trust is priceless ...... money comes and goes. I'm fond of telling people the most valuable resources for me are my health (physical/mental) and my time. I can always make more money, but once your health and time are gone ...... they are gone ...... you can never get them back. Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 (edited) Given that I fell in love with an escort... Truthfully, I think people make waaaaay to much of sex... no doubt in part due to primitive biological dominance urges, and partly because religion laid claim to it as part of their domain of influence and power and has brainwashed most of us. It wouldn't be infidelity because it would be with the spouse's consent. And sex is a perfectly natural act. No one need be scarred or marked for life. That is just silly. While I can appreciate the whole he-man, she's mine, grunt grunt mentality, I got over it. I had to in order to accept the situation in which I found myself. Eventually I learned to tune it out. As long as she is happy and healthy, that's all that matters. And if my wife or gf was okay with having sex for a million dollars then I could live with it. I've tolerated... adjusted to far more already. And the benefits would far exceed the risks. A million dollars can change a person's life forever. Is a night of sex really worth giving up so much? I don't think so. To me the biggest concern would be losing her to someone with so much money that he will pay a million bucks for sex. I think that would be the real threat. For her to mean so much to him, then how could he not be a serious threat. And if she was willing, then how could she not be tempted? Men with that much wealth don't come along every day. So I would need to feel confident that there is no way she would leave me for him. As long as I was secure in that, it wouldn't be a big deal to deal with it. Likewise, I never understood why one infidelity is enough to end a marriage for some people. How could so little be enough to end things if you really love someone? If my spouse had cheated, and I think she might have, I always assumed that I could live with that as long as it ended. Edited February 13, 2015 by Robert Z 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Under The Radar Posted February 13, 2015 Author Share Posted February 13, 2015 Given that I fell in love with an escort... Truthfully, I think people make waaaaay to much of sex... no doubt in part due to primitive biological dominance urges, and partly because religion laid claim to it as part of their domain of influence and power. It wouldn't be infidelity because it would be with the spouse's consent. And sex is a perfectly natural act. No one need be scarred or marked for life. That is just silly. While I can appreciate the whole he-man, she's mine, grunt grunt mentality, I got over it. I had to in order to accept the situation in which I found myself. Eventually I learned to tune it out. As long as she is happy and healthy, that's all that matters. And if my wife or gf was okay with having sex for a million dollars then I could live with it. I've tolerated... adjusted to far more already. And the benefits would far exceed the risks. A million dollars can change a person's life forever. Is a night of sex really worth giving up so much? I don't think so. To me the biggest concern would be losing her to someone with so much money that he will pay a million bucks for sex. I think that would be the real threat. For her to mean so much to him, then how could he not be a serious threat. And if she was willing, then how could she not be tempted? Men with that much wealth don't come along every day. So I would need to feel confident that there is no way she would leave me for him. As long as I was secure in that, it wouldn't be a big deal to deal with it. Likewise, I never understood why one infidelity is enough to end a marriage for some people. How could so little be enough to end things if you really love someone? If my spouse had cheated, and I think she might have, I always assumed that I could live with that as long as it ended. Right, and in the movie he did lose his wife, at least for a time, to the other man. I was thinking way outside the box after the movie ended. For instance, if the money would have payed for some cutting edge medication, to cure my terminally ill grandmother from cancer ...... who suffered quite extensively before she died. In a situation like that I'm not so sure it's black and white. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Remember the scene from "Forrest Gump" when the mom decided to bang the school principal so he could go to the regular school? Sometimes you just have to "take one for the team"...... But seriously, I had the unfortunate circumstances at a stage in my life to be without basically anything...Every day was faced with the prospect that your basic needs would/could not be met..Until you have lived under those conditions, its very hard to know what one would do...People have done wayyyyy worse than sleeping with some rich old timer, to not be out on the street...Way worse..... Its easy for me to say "absolutely not" now, because I have some financial security...Turn the clock back?? I have to answer honestly and go with "not sure, but would give serious consideration"..... TFY 2 Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Given that I fell in love with an escort... Truthfully, I think people make waaaaay to much of sex... no doubt in part due to primitive biological dominance urges, and partly because religion laid claim to it as part of their domain of influence and power and has brainwashed most of us. It wouldn't be infidelity because it would be with the spouse's consent. And sex is a perfectly natural act. No one need be scarred or marked for life. That is just silly. While I can appreciate the whole he-man, she's mine, grunt grunt mentality, I got over it. I had to in order to accept the situation in which I found myself. Eventually I learned to tune it out. As long as she is happy and healthy, that's all that matters. And if my wife or gf was okay with having sex for a million dollars then I could live with it. I've tolerated... adjusted to far more already. And the benefits would far exceed the risks. A million dollars can change a person's life forever. Is a night of sex really worth giving up so much? I don't think so. To me the biggest concern would be losing her to someone with so much money that he will pay a million bucks for sex. I think that would be the real threat. For her to mean so much to him, then how could he not be a serious threat. And if she was willing, then how could she not be tempted? Men with that much wealth don't come along every day. So I would need to feel confident that there is no way she would leave me for him. As long as I was secure in that, it wouldn't be a big deal to deal with it. Likewise, I never understood why one infidelity is enough to end a marriage for some people. How could so little be enough to end things if you really love someone? If my spouse had cheated, and I think she might have, I always assumed that I could live with that as long as it ended. Because the thought of someone else being with their wife/husband is too much torture mentally for them. Just the image of it can destroy you. And if it happened once, what makes you think it wouldn't happen again? The doubt would always be in the back their mind & the trust is gone. Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 (edited) Because the thought of someone else being with their wife/husband is too much torture mentally for them. Just the image of it can destroy you. And if it happened once, what makes you think it wouldn't happen again? The doubt would always be in the back their mind & the trust is gone. If that is your choice. I'm not so fragile. And I accept that we are all humans capable of making mistakes. It is unreasonable to expect perfection from anyone. Don't you love them enough to allow them to make mistakes? Edited February 13, 2015 by Robert Z Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 If that is your choice. I'm not so fragile. And I accept that we are all human capable of making mistakes. Did you marry a saint? If not then accept that. I just don't see how a marriage could survive it. And if it does, it seems it's never the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 People have done wayyyyy worse than sleeping with some rich old timer, to not be out on the street...Way worse..... A million dollars is enough to inspire those who would, to rob banks, risk a near lifetime in prison, or kill someone. In fact, for a million bucks you can probably have 20 or more people knocked off! Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 I just don't see how a marriage could survive it. And if it does, it seems it's never the same. As I said, that is a choice. It is unreasonable to expect perfection in the first place. But that is just my opinion. I do know that we choose to be victims. And we choose to be unforgiving. Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 As I said, that is a choice. It is unreasonable to expect perfection in the first place. But that is just my opinion. I do know that we choose to be victims. And we choose to be unforgiving. Of course no one is perfect, but infedelity is the worst thing you can do to someone in a monogamous relationship/marriage. Some people can work through it, but it seems most can't. And some peoples lives become destroyed from it especially if there's kids involved. Is it really worth the risk? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 (edited) Of course no one is perfect, but infedelity is the worst thing you can do to someone in a monogamous relationship/marriage. Some people can work through it, but it seems most can't. And some peoples lives become destroyed from it especially if there's kids involved. Is it really worth the risk? Not even close to the worst thing someone can do. Not even close!!! I know. Use, abuse, manipulation, having no regard for your spouse's needs, being uncaring and unsympathetic, and pretending to love you but denying sex, are far, far worse. The things my wife did to me were orders of magnitude worse than cheating. It isn't betrayal that is devastating. It is betrayal with malice; with complete disregard for even your life. Edited February 13, 2015 by Robert Z Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Not even close to the worst thing someone can do. Not even close!!! I know. Use, abuse, manipulation, having no regard for your spouse's needs, being uncaring and unsympathetic, and pretending to love you but denying sex, are far, far worse. The things my wife did to me were orders of magnitude worse than cheating. It isn't betrayal that is devastating. It is betrayal with malice; with complete disregard for even your life. Well, fair enough. But cheating is still a horrible thing to happen. I personally couldn't be with a woman that treated me so awful, whether it's constantly yelling at me or whatever rlse. I'd need a peaceful relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 If that is your choice. I'm not so fragile. And I accept that we are all humans capable of making mistakes. It is unreasonable to expect perfection from anyone. Don't you love them enough to allow them to make mistakes? Allowing a mistake and condoning that mistake are two different things.....you can allow a mistake...you can give chances.doesnt mean you condone or accept cheating as the norm or right thing to do.....once a mistake is made......the effects and consequences of that mistake are actually problems that arises robert....the inevitable change that happens due to choices made...affects both in the relationship..when bad choices are made...you can only assume they would be bad choices for a close and mutually satisfying relationship to change into ...something else...there are few relationships i know of that have weathered cheating.....maybe a one off ....even then sometimes it takes years of building trust back up again....trust is hard to get back....deb Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Well, fair enough. But cheating is still a horrible thing to happen. I personally couldn't be with a woman that treated me so awful, whether it's constantly yelling at me or whatever rlse. I'd need a peaceful relationship. *else* typo in last message. Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Anyone who would be party to such a transaction is just a nudge or two away from selling their soul, or accepting shackles. No effing way. Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 I am not the sharing type. I caught my ExW sharing and walked away without looking back. I will never marry again. However, if the offer for a million doggies and I got half was with a girl friend. Oh Yeah! You bet! I would even drive her there. That way I could make sure we got the money. Then I would be making reservations to go street dancing with the Samba gals in Rio. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 A million dollars is less than a million pounds... In my area that would buy a middle of the range 4 bed house... So nah. Not worth it. Other ways to make a million if I wanted it. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Of course no one is perfect, but infedelity is the worst thing you can do to someone in a monogamous relationship/marriage. Some people can work through it, but it seems most can't. And some peoples lives become destroyed from it especially if there's kids involved. Is it really worth the risk? I understand your point and agree whole heartedly, but.... Technically, this "indecent proposal" wouldn't be the same as someone that actively went outside the marriage...In those cases, the offending person actively sought out another individual for a relationship(sexual or otherwise), and undermined the committment to the other person.. This is a sexual business deal... I make good money, but still, do you realize how hard and long one has to work to net a million dollars?..I have to go out, like today in sub zero conditions and work probably more than half of the day out in the elements..I have scars all over my body, etc...All in the name of earning a dollar providing for my family and those that depend on me.. There was a time in my life when 10 grand would answer all my prayers...If you offered to hand me a million then, I cant say what I would do, but it wouldnt be too difficult to get me to do something drastic...even very drastic..Not saying I would do it or even condone it, but put the average persons back really to the wall, and all of a sudden saints become sinners.. Think about it... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
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