Need some perspective (especially from guys!) on how to deal with LDR

[dookie7]

I am currently in a LDR for 6 months with the relationship starting 3 months prior to that (9 months). He moved to another city for work (too good to say no to) and I'm finishing my last semester of uni, with the plan of looking for work in his city once i graduate. We text and message each other everyday; mostly 'good morning/night' and 'how was your day'. This is my first serious relationship (I'm 24) and this has been extremely difficult. We aim to see each other once per month which is pretty much my limit with how long I can go without seeing him. He is an absolute legend and extremely supportive of my studies and other aspects.

 

My issue is that, I'm a very communicative person. He doesn't want to talk on the phone and so our communication is limited to texting. We watch tv shows and movies together sometimes, but I feel that this is a bit lacking. he can sometimes be a bit short with conversations (short answers) and it can be hard to keep it going. This leaves me feeling insecure sometimes. I let him know when I am feeling like this (we made it clear to each other to be honest with our feelings etc) however it usually ends with him saying 'I don't know what else to do'.

 

What do I do with this?

How can I approach that I need more communication without appearing nosy/clingy?

Is my thinking wrong?

 

I would like some perspective on this.

 

P.S. We have both discussed that we are in for the long term.

[Tiger Lily]

Maybe start off smaller, and ask him to be open to gradually build up? For example, maybe talk on the phone twice a week, and then build up to every other day, and hopefully to 5-7 days out of the week.

 

Personally, I can't imagine not talking on the phone in that situation. And I would find texting even worse than not talking! Texting is so impersonal to me. Maintaining a relationship that way would be impossible.

 

But, regarding your commitment, I think you're either committed or you're not. When there is a true commitment, you'd be surprised at how much a person can put up with (especially if an end to the separation is in the near future). However, the distance can also put the hardest part of the relationship in the spotlight and you may realize you're just not compatible and want different things.

 

Hope he's able to give you what you need (and vice versa). Best of luck.