now my feelings are wacky... help!

[smile]

so today I went to my best friends baby shower. I held the little guy and my biological clock went crazy. But anyhoo thats not what this was about. My "ex" has been gone for about 3 weeks now and things were starting to feel weird.

 

He has called so much since he has been gone, I have been watching his puppy and taping his favorite tv show. He calls to tell me where he is and what he is doing.. he has sent me pictures and takes long walks "alone" away from the band and tells me about the scenery. And I got all mixed up about what we are to eachother and why if he wants me so much he wont ask me to be his gf again.

 

So I called this guy who I know has a crush on me and asked him to hang out.. we are friends but lately he has been VERY flirty. But as it got close to the time to hang out , I just didnt want to. Then an other guy who has been dropping hints left and right asked me to go with him to the shower today. I was ok until I thought about it. Its weird but when these guys flirt with me or hug me too long it makes me sick. Like I just dont want them to do it.

 

All I can do is think back to my "ex" and I wish he was there. I dunno if its the attention from these guys that makes me uncomfortable.. or if its because I am unsure where I stand with my "ex" that makes the situation feel akward... or if I dont want to move on.

 

I had this time to think.. and I still have 2 and a half more weeks to think. I am totally in love with the puppy. I dont want to give him back. He said I can come over and visit the pupy whenever I want to. He called and told me how much he missed me. How he just wanted to hang out with me... and that made me smile because it was a sweet thing to say... very sincere.

 

Its weird because I feel like I dont know how I feel or that I want to just get out... then when it comes close to anything... I dont want it... what does that mean?

 

does it mean I am crazy? that I am addicted or dedicated... what is the difference? how long do you have faith before you become pathetic? I have had dreams where he says I read too much into things and its just fun then I have dreams that we are cuddling together watching tv and he is telling me how much he missed me and how sorry he was for wasting so much time.

I know if it turns out the way everyone that knows us seems to think its gonna turn out we will look back on this time and it will be just a tiny glitch on the radar screen. Something to laugh about to our grandkids. But its tough because theres no garuntee.

 

I now know why so many ppl say you couldnt pay them to relive their 20s.

[RecordProducer]

You are in love!

Just don't push him. Don't be so available for him. It's also possible that he's using you to take care of his puppy. If he doesn't restart the relationship when he comes back, try to get over him. And no more favors from you!

You're obviously not attracted to the guys who hug you so it's normal to feel sick when someone you don't like touches your body and flirts with you. It happens to me often. You should learn to say kindly, but firmly "Please don't touch me! I feel uncomfortable when you do that. Thanks for your understanding" (although all you wanna do is punch them right between the legs ).

Good luck with the musician! Hope everything turns out great for you.

[smile]

thanks. Its not really about the puppy. Some of his friends and even his dad and brother offered to watch the puppy while he was away. He asked if I could do it. When I got the puppy from his roomate he said he was glad to know the dog was with me. It made him happy. He has often said how cute I am with the puppy. So I dont think he needed me to watch the puppy.

 

The unavailable thing is hard. When he calls and I dont answer he calls again and again ... then he calls the apt and asks my roomate where I am then calls and calls until I answer. I had my phone off most of this weekend and when I went camping my cell had no reception. I just think the fact that he calls me so often is a pretty good sign.

 

He is lonely because he is on the road I get that. Homesick and stuff but calling me is like reminding him of home.. ya know? At least thats what it seems. Maybe I am reading too much into it.

 

It sucks with the friend thing. One of the guys was way inappropriate when my ex was on his last tour, when we were still dating. And he just went on and on about how we were supposed to be together.

 

Now it seems that the "ex" is gone for a while these guys who have been friends and listening to me are thinking this is their chance to be all gooey and icky. When the other guy called me to ask me to go to the shower he left a msg on my machine that said "oh that msg was so cute. You're so cute. Oh my youre just so adorable. Call me back. youre just so cute" ICK that made me so sick.

 

Both these guys are oversensitive and it sucks because before they were good friends but then it got all screwy. It sucks to think they were just friends and they were waiting ya know? Like vultures. Makes me sad that Billy Crystal may be right, from when Harry Met Sally... when he says men and women cant be friends. *sigh*