Julie Posted March 5, 2001 Share Posted March 5, 2001 My boyfriend obviously has a past. The problem is that his best friend's wife used to talk to my boyfriend's ex (follow that?) about the intimate things they did together. Trying to make a long story short, I get told a lot of things that I don't want to know. I have made it clear to everybody that I do not want to know details of my boyfriend's sexual history, but I still hear them (never from him). I need to know how to stop picturing these things. I have a terrible imagination, and I want nothing more than to erase all thoughts of him with someone else from my memory. It makes me insecure, and I don't want it to continue. Link to post Share on other sites
katie Posted March 5, 2001 Share Posted March 5, 2001 Past is the past. don't bring it back. you need to tell this people firmly that you don't want to hear those comments and if you hear them again, leave the place immediately. there alot of jealous people that want to bother you, don't let them get to you. next time you hear a comment just ignore them, get up and leve them talking. your boyfriend is a gentleman by not telling you his sexual history. Link to post Share on other sites
Julie Posted March 5, 2001 Share Posted March 5, 2001 I know all that - but what about the stuff I've already heard? I know I NEED to forget it, but how? what can I do to stop the images of the things I've already heard? Link to post Share on other sites
Laurynn Posted March 5, 2001 Share Posted March 5, 2001 I've been in your shoes. Years ago when I was newly married, it was New Year's Eve and me and hubby were at home having a few drinks, had some people over. His best friend (real drunk, real sh*tdisturber) came over, too. He was the last one to leave. By the end of the night, him and hubby had pounded away quite a bit. The friend starts going on about my hubby and things he'd done with his ex girlfriend (the one he was with before me).....also how "she" had him eating out of the palm of her hand, how he kissed her a$$, bla bla. Things I obviously didn't need to know, didn't want to know. I'm like you.....when I hear stuff like that, it upsets me, I can't forget it, picture things in my mind, makes me feel insecure, wondered if I measured up, bla bla bla. The only thing I can suggest, now that the damage has been done......is you either a) stay away from these inconsiderate/insensitive/troublemaking COWS (they should know better than to tell you this stuff) or b) give them absolute hell the next time they start bringing this stuff up again...tell them how out of line they are and tell them to freaking well knock it off, out of respect for you. Personally, I'd seriously question the validity of what they said.......maybe they were discussing this stuff just to get your goat for some reason? Doesn't make sense to me, that two MATURE, decent women would sit there and disclose personal/sexual details to the girlfriend (you)....unless they were trying to upset you. If that's the case, it's hard to say if what they said was even TRUE. I'd put an end to hanging around with people like that.....and if you TRULY hadn't *asked* for some juicy details (just out of curiosity), I might even tell you to tell your boyfriend what's going on....let him give them a piece of his mind about disclosing this stuff. Laurynn Link to post Share on other sites
Victor Posted March 6, 2001 Share Posted March 6, 2001 You really cannot! You just have to let time take its toll, and I know this is really hard, trust me I have been in this position, and to this day I still wonder... it's very hard, the tiniest thing can get you to remember the "bad memories" of his sexual past... Wait, 1 thing you can do is try to not care about it, have a carefree mind about his sexual past, then maybe it'll help you not remember these things so frequently. Link to post Share on other sites
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