Is hitting back harder and in anger assault too?

[MelodyRye]

Some anonymous male on another site thinks that just because some girl slaps that it's ok to hit back twice as harder:

 

I believe in hitting twice as hard in retaliation. You started it, you should have known that there are no rules which tells me to use exactly the same force used by the other person. Bottomline JUST DON'T ***IN HIT SOMEONE WHEN YOU CAN'T TAKE IT.

 

Retaliation isn't self-defense from my understanding and hitting twice as harder doesn't that turn into assault already? Apparently seems like he has real anger issues. I know there are exception but this poster sounds like a jerk honestly. He sounds like a Ray Rice type. I would get away from a guy like that.

Edited February 13, 2015 by MelodyRye

[autumnnight]

Hitting in either case is wrong. If I was a man and a woman hit me, my next step would be to call 911 and follow through. If a woman thinks hitting is wrong, she needs to be keeping her hands to herself.

[MelodyRye]

Hitting in either case is wrong. If I was a man and a woman hit me, my next step would be to call 911 and follow through. If a woman thinks hitting is wrong, she needs to be keeping her hands to herself.

Exactly but apparently this guy's solution is to really screwed up that person, which I think it's wrong too.

[carhill]

Battery is battery. Assault is the threat of, and intimidation under, violent intent.

 

Self-defense is protecting self. One can certainly batter, and even kill, in defense of self.

 

In the example, IMO both parties would have committed battery, if the second party used unreasonable force to neutralize the threat.

 

In the realm of right and wrong, IMO it's wrong to 'hit back twice as hard', rather use reasonable force to defend oneself and neutralize the threat. If the threat keeps coming, escalate if no route of escape is available. Our training has been to never turn back on a threat, even if in retreat, and always provide a means to disengage and, if in reasonable fear of life, kill. A girlfriend or spouse slapping or punch one in anger? Highly unlikely to be life-threatening. Taking a baseball bat? More so. Knife? More so. Gun? Kill them.

[MelodyRye]

A girlfriend or spouse slapping or punch one in anger? Highly unlikely to be life-threatening. Taking a baseball bat? More so. Knife? More so. Gun? Kill them.

This is the way it should be. Though lately on other sites, I've been seeing several Rice Ray (black knights) types that think a slap or punch from a gf/spouse should be already met with a knock-out punch and that she should already be handle like a man. Those guys make me sick. How about pushing her away? I'm sure in those cases there was no need for a full Mike Tyson punch. Edited February 13, 2015 by MelodyRye

[todreaminblue]

if you are going to hit someone expect to be hit back ......strength varies from person to person......i f a retreat froma fight....its somewhere where i am safe in other words .....someone can only come at me from one direction if am in that safe place and someone comes at me......i am going to have to defend myself.....th eway i do that is normally to immobolize an attacker by as much force as needed and considering i dont know how much force that is how much it will take to put them on the ground.........i go with all force that i have........me as a woman against a guy...hand to hand combat...i have not won a fight yet...but i survived and that is what is important.....the guys who have hit me have been fighters....and one was a black belt 3 dan he truly messed me up....which not what martial arts is meant to be about...its meant to be about respect and defense only......its meant to help others who cant defend themselves....to be honorable.....

 

fighting should only be self defense or in a ring with protective equipment...it kills brain cells...and i have lost a few...luckily i have reserves..you should not hit people....male or female...it is assault....and you can kill them...slapping anyone is wrong........deb

[Taramere]

This is the way it should be. Though lately on other sites, I've been seeing several Rice Ray (black knights) types that think a slap or punch from a gf/spouse should be already met with a knock-out punch and that she should already be handle like a man. Those guys make me sick. How about pushing her away? I'm sure in those cases there was no need for a full Mike Tyson punch.

 

Reminds me of the period of time I took Tae Kwon Do classes years ago. I didn't last very long, on account of the instructor being ridiculously controlling (when I missed classes for a week due to university freshers' week, he phoned me up and stormed at me over the phone "I don't care what you have on - this is a discipline not a hobby!!!").

 

I went back once, after that, and noticed his girlfriend had a black eye. In the changing room I asked "did he give you that?" She admitted that he had. So I didn't go back and I can't say I missed his twice weekly monologues in which he'd relay, to the army of crossed-legged disciples on the floor in front of him, the seemingly endless occasions on which this peace loving man who never went looking for trouble had been left with no option but to break somebody's bone or bones with his black belt skills.

 

Aggressive arseholes like that will always try to convince you that they spend their entire lives just minding their own business in laid back fashion while all manner of violent nutcases try to start fights with them out of nowhere. The best thing to do, I feel, is just nod with as much sympathy as you can fake and then make a sharp exit.

[Tayla]

If Person (A) strikes first, Person B has various avenues to resolve in a mature manner. One method is to subdue the person from further harm. 2: Strike back to create that shock moment . Option 3 Move away quickly and make a clear motion that its unacceptable. All three are ways I have been taught in my self defense class.

 

A Lady doesn't "slap" or use force unless her antenae is up and she feels endangered.

 

I've witnessed females taunting and emasculating guys in public with the mentality of "see I can hit you all I want and you can't do anything about it because I am a female and its socially unacceptable for you to strike back". That is simply unacceptable to use such social leverage. So many times ( and I am a lady) I wish the guy would just stand up to this public humiliation. Yet the public outcry that she is "helpless" against a bigger fell'r outweighs the reality that striking the guy is okay?? I hardly think so.

[gaius]

Any guy who's preaching knocking out a woman is probably just a virgin trolling for attention Melody, but if a woman is showing you the kind of disrespect Ray Rice's wife was showing him you probably should physically deal with her in some way, just not to the point of knocking her out cold.

 

My grandmother spit on me the other day when I was visiting and I gave her a light whack for it. And she calmed down afterward. That's what women are seeking when they do stuff like that to you.

[Tayla]

My grandmother spit on me the other day when I was visiting and I gave her a light whack for it. And she calmed down afterward. That's what women are seeking when they do stuff like that to you.

 

Next time hand your grandmother a towel .

[gaius]

Next time hand your grandmother a towel .

What would that accomplish Tayla?

[Tayla]

What would that accomplish Tayla?

 

it would give her a clue to clean up the saliva she choose to expel your way.

 

whacking is for flies, not grandparents.

[Robert Z]

This is the way it should be. Though lately on other sites, I've been seeing several Rice Ray (black knights) types that think a slap or punch from a gf/spouse should be already met with a knock-out punch and that she should already be handle like a man. Those guys make me sick. How about pushing her away? I'm sure in those cases there was no need for a full Mike Tyson punch.

 

 

I would never hit a woman unless she was threatening my life or capable of inflicting serious injury; perhaps with a weapon. But I must say, women have a long history of feeling entitled to hit men. Perhaps young men are simply rejecting this as the bs that it is. My wife struck me several times during our marriage because she felt entitled to do so... because she's a woman and I'm a man. Any time she got angry enough she felt entitled to lash out or do whatever she felt like doing - slap me, break something, throw something... you know, like a spoiled little brat. This is generally [classically] considered acceptable behavior for women and has been reinforced as such by movies and tv shows for as long as they've existed.

Edited February 14, 2015 by Robert Z

[d0nnivain]

Except in "stand your ground" states (see Florida, Travon Martin & George Zimmerman, in order to invoke self defense, the person has to retreat (leave) first. Only if they have no escape can they return violence for violence & even then self defense requires the use of return force to be proportional to the original force.

 

 

So the jerk in the example who increases the amount of force has committed a worse assault by doing so.

[carhill]

Yep, even if he raises a clenched fist and tells her exactly how he's going to pulverize her, and does nothing, he's committed assault because he's using the threat of physical violence to affect the circumstances. If he has a history of physical intimidation and threats, even more so. She could reasonably fear for her life and cap him in such a confrontation. Better to be judged live by twelve than carried dead by six.

[MelodyRye]

Yep, even if he raises a clenched fist and tells her exactly how he's going to pulverize her, and does nothing, he's committed assault because he's using the threat of physical violence to affect the circumstances. If he has a history of physical intimidation and threats, even more so. She could reasonably fear for her life and cap him in such a confrontation. Better to be judged live by twelve than carried dead by six.

I'm only a 5'3 and 132 lbs girl so yes, I would be in total fear for my life if a guy ever did that to me. I might even use pepper spray (I sometimes bring it) if put under that situation and run afterwards.

 

What these aggressive jerks don't know, is even if a rude average woman were to slap or punch a bf during an argument, it won't cause as much damage as vice-versa. If the average man cold punches me like a man, I would most likely be unconscious or at most he can kill me.

 

A guy friend of mine long ago actually did dared me to slap him hard. When I did, he said that apart from only stinging for a couple minutes, it's really nothing. This friend could even handle getting injured at times during basketball games.

If he had slap me the hardest in the face, I would be bruising or even have a nose bled.

Later on this friend, told me to punch him the hardest in the arm (he apparently wanted to test how hard your average girl's punch is) and he found out it funny. He said it felt like just a hard tap or mild slap. If it happened vice-versa, my arm would be already bruised.

Edited February 14, 2015 by MelodyRye

[bubbaganoosh]

I often wondered why some and not all women think that just because their female that they have the right or think they can cut loose and slap or hit a man. I keep thinking that there must be some unwritten law that they feel gives them the right to hit.

 

Being slapped across the face is one of the lowest forms of humiliation and when the person they slap, slaps back, then all of a sudden they play the victim card.

 

I'm a firm believer that that both men and women should be treated equal in everything and when it comes to slapping, if you want to have the same rights as a man then you lose the right to change the rules when it suits you. Have to take the good with the bad.

[elaine567]

I often wondered why some and not all women think that just because their female that they have the right or think they can cut loose and slap or hit a man. I keep thinking that there must be some unwritten law that they feel gives them the right to hit.

 

Being slapped across the face is one of the lowest forms of humiliation and when the person they slap, slaps back, then all of a sudden they play the victim card.

 

I'm a firm believer that that both men and women should be treated equal in everything and when it comes to slapping, if you want to have the same rights as a man then you lose the right to change the rules when it suits you. Have to take the good with the bad.

 

OK but the topic is about some feeling it is OK to hit the woman back twice as hard, seemingly to teach her a lesson, or in retaliation.

Also most men are a lot stronger, so a slap from a man on a woman will cause a lot more damage than a slap from a woman on a man. WE are not speaking about apples and apples here.

So if your 13 year old daughter give out a slap on the face (lowest form of humiliation), is it then OK for a man to slap her back at full force...?

[MelodyRye]

That was the point. Those men are obviously not doing it in self-defense at all but in pure anger and most of the time they want her to feel pain when he mostly felt nothing at all but just a bruised ego. From the sound of it, this can sound like some type of self-entitlement issue the guy has (hitting harder someone he can easily beat) and sort of like a ''Hey I hit you back harder and what you gonna do now'' thing. I don't see that reaction as normal at all. He shouldn't be justified either. That makes him a bully IMO.

 

This is the average woman's slap I'm referring to. If the woman was let's say Rhonda Rousey or Chyna then that's a different story. Very few women are like that.

[elaine567]

Another thing, when most woman slap a man, it is not really about causing real damage, it is an act more about drama than designed to cause physical hurt.

To turn that around into something that causes real physical damage doesn't sit well with me.

[autumnnight]

It's interesting how some of the same women who shout about equality and feminism still want to give women a free pass on 5things like slapping a man. Is hitting wrong or isnt it? That's a yes or no question.

[elaine567]

It's interesting how some of the same women who shout about equality and feminism still want to give women a free pass on 5things like slapping a man. Is hitting wrong or isnt it? That's a yes or no question.

 

The topic is not about whether it is right to slap a man, of course it isn't.

The topic is about whether is is right to retaliate with at least twice the force.

[MelodyRye]

It's interesting how some of the same women who shout about equality and feminism still want to give women a free pass on 5things like slapping a man. Is hitting wrong or isnt it? That's a yes or no question.

It is wrong and no one stated that hitting was ok.

What we were trying to say is the intention to the slap behind it and how it differs. The woman that slaps, generally doesn't have it in her mind ''Oh yes, I want to fight you, I want to seriously hurt you'' and likely did it to cause drama. It is rude and childish and I think the man should break up, which I wouldn't blame him if he dumps her and finds a woman know how to settle the differences without slapping.

 

However, once he responds harder then it's already with the intention to fight (''Oh how dare you, now I'm gonna show you how capable I'm of hurting you'') and both creates a shock and scares you. The mind and psychology of that woman isn't the same as the mind and psychology of those men. Women aren't war machines that are already at fight mode and ready to attack with greater aggression. Our minds can at times be kind of complicated to be honest but it makes sense why. I'm not a man nor will I ever think like a man.

 

 

Yes, I would lose a lot of respect for a man like that. Excusing that type of man in the name of equality seems like an excuse to be honest; you're using the excuse of equality to excuse his behavior.

 

 

I'm going to give you another example of why it's perceive differently. Imagine how a very jealous gf will be seen as. She would more than likely be seen as an immature, drama queen but nothing else.

Vice-versa and he's seen as a scary, controlling psycho that can kill his gf if she doesn't leave him, which she does have good reasons to worry. There are few exceptions but this is what ends up happening in most cases.

Edited February 15, 2015 by MelodyRye

[bubbaganoosh]

The simple way to put it all to rest is, don't hit. If you don't hit someone then you wont get struck back.

 

If a woman hits a man then she's isn't much of a woman and same thing holds true for a man. I

I've been slapped across the face by my first wife and lord only knows I wanted to give it back in spades but I had enough common sense to know that if that happened I brought myself down to her level and would have been branded a wife beater.

 

To answer the question, yeah you'll get slapped back harder because you pissed that person of and even though two wrongs don't make a right, you get what you give.

[elaine567]

OK, but you contradict yourself

"yeah you'll get slapped back harder because you pissed that person of and even though two wrongs don't make a right, you get what you give"

yet when placed in that very situation

 

"I've been slapped across the face by my first wife and lord only knows I wanted to give it back in spades but I had enough common sense to know that if that happened I brought myself down to her level and would have been branded a wife beater"

 

So in your eyes, it is OK for men to hit back harder, but then surely they risk being branded a wife beater, no?