canadagrl Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 Just wondering what everyone else thinks I should do.... I am 20 years old and attend university. I live at home with my parents and drive back and forth to school every day. I also have a part time job which I earn quite a bit of money to support myself on. I just got engaged at Christmas and we are planning on getting married in 2007, after I finish school. My fiancee owns his own house and he has asked me many times to move in with him and I really want to. My parents are old fashioned and think that you shouldn't live together until you are married. However, things are different now and a lot of young couples live together before marriage to make sure that you can stand living together! It's not like we just started dating, and we are going to get married in 2 years. I really want to move in with my fiancee and I know that I can afford to, but how do I tell my parents that I want to move out to have some freedom and responsiblity? How should I approach telling them that I am leaving? Any ideas?? Link to post Share on other sites
Midnight Magic Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 I would have a heart to heart talk with your parents. Tell them that you love your fiancee and you are moving in with him to start building your life together. After all you are engaged and will be marrying the man. Maybe they are worried that you will neglect your studies when you are living together. That could be the main reason, but explain to them that you are still going to continue with your educational plans, and you are making your own money and want to start making your own decisions. And you seem as tho you have a good head on your shoulders. And altho parents want their kids to get married and then live together, this is not really the norm anymore. I think living together before marriage is a great idea. How else are you going to know what the other person is going to be like when you share a home. Altho this brings back memories with me. When my now hubby moved in with me, I had to re-train him. He was no longer allowed to just throw his clothes on the floor, he would have to at least make some attempt to hit the laundry hamper. Parents are parents. They worry and worry and worry. And tell your parents what you told us that you want to have some freedom and start having more responsibilites. And tell them that you will visit lots. Maybe they will feel sad because you are moving out. My parents cried and cried when I moved out at the age of 18 but be strong. Good luck with your life. Things will be fine. I too am Canadian by the way. Link to post Share on other sites
WithOrWithoutYou Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 "Mom, Dad, can I talk to you both for a minute. As you probably know, I am in love with [insert fiance's name here], and I want to marry him in about two years. I really appreciate all you have done for me, and I hope you two know that I love you a lot. You guys are great, and it's nothing you have done, but it's time for me to move out, because I want to be with [insert fiance's name here]. I do love him, and moving in with him is what I want. Nothing else has changed. I'm still finishing my degree, and I plan to follow through on everything that I have always wanted to do. I just love him, and I need to be with him. I know you may not agree with this, but I hope that you will try to understand, and support me in finding some happiness. I would love to come back and visit, and even stay here from time to time if you would be comfortable with that. I really think I am making the right decision, and I would like to have your support. I'll try have my stuff moved by next week, except for a few things I would like to leave in my room, if that's ok. Thanks for understanding." Or something like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Lil Honey Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 I am a mom of a 22-year-old daughter. She moved in with her boyfriend to whom she is NOT engaged. (Thank the Lord for small favors.) Now for me, living together isn't a big thing. See, in the old days, I think it was a "sin" to live together because folks didn't want to think about a man and woman sleeping together. These days, people pretty much have it figured out that a couple already HAS slept together. So, what difference does it make if you do it on the weekends when you see each other or any time you want when living together. The deed is done. (Here comes the Mom part of me . . . lookout! LOL) I think you would be doing yourself a HUGE favor to move out of your parents' house and into some place of your OWN. That way you will always have a sense of self-reliance and independence. I say this because I went from living with my parents to marrying and living with my (now ex) husband. I see this as a mistake that I can't undo. I missed out on seeing myself in a whole new light. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 I am 19 years old, but I will be 20 in May and I am liven with my Fiancee and my grandpa keeps tellen me that it is a sin. We are going to get married in July 2008 and i is 16 months away. But I dont know what to do. We can't sleep without each other, and we really just want to stay the way we are. Please help me is it a sin???????? Link to post Share on other sites
mrscompy Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 Sex before marriage IS actually a sin. And as someone said in a previous post it has become a norm for couples to move in together cause most of them have sex before the wedding anyways I'm not sure what U should do in this situation but just do whats best for U and ur relationship. Whatever that will make you happy. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
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