How can a woman have a social life without getting hit on?

[neowulf]

I'm not sure a rule book would be a good thing. At the end of the day nobody cares if a guy who is not part of a social network or a well connected family meets a partner or not.

 

Social rules always strike me as being set up for the interests of controlling people. I think if men can approach women without the social rules it is better for them. It stops other men and religious people controlling them.

 

I grew up in a religious home and hate the idea of men's sexuality being controlled by artificial social rules that would stop them meeting people in all but the most restricted settings. There is something dubious about the idea.

 

I agree with what you're saying, but you have to be careful you don't throw the baby out with the bath water.

 

Society is only made possible through the application of law. We have laws to help govern our behaviour and provide social stability.

 

I'm not suggesting a return to a classist system, which exists to control and segregate people.

 

I just think a lot of the behaviour we're seeing is the result of people being lost and confused.

 

No one taught me how to date, how to approach women. I had to just blunder around in the dark, trying to figure out what worked through trial and error.

 

These days, if you asked me "Hey, how would you go about finding a girlfriend", I'd probably immediately say "online dating". Because it's provides some structure around the process again. I know how to put together a profile, how the process of contacting women works. How she'll show interest, etc.

 

Randomly approaching women who may or may not be attached, may not want attention, may just laugh in my face. It's all too damn stressful.

[Ethan78]

I agree with what you're saying, but you have to be careful you don't throw the baby out with the bath water.

 

Society is only made possible through the application of law. We have laws to help govern our behaviour and provide social stability...

 

 

 

These days, if you asked me "Hey, how would you go about finding a girlfriend", I'd probably immediately say "online dating". Because it's provides some structure around the process again. I know how to put together a profile, how the process of contacting women works. How she'll show interest, etc.

 

Randomly approaching women who may or may not be attached, may not want attention, may just laugh in my face. It's all too damn stressful.

 

Since when did pushing a social boundary and talking to people bring the rule of law into question? I think this is something feminists struggle with. They would like to restrain men from talking to women in the street for example, but they know full well that criminalising social interaction would be absurd.

 

In any case people interact differently in small towns than they do in big cities. Something which is socially pushy in one society is normal in another, and some women like the attention where others don't. How do you make any rule out of that?

 

I have approached a lot of women, and I know there is an inconvenient truth that women don't like to talk about. They don't mind of the cute / good looking guy talks to them, but they are insulted and annoyed when the ugly guy does. You cannot make any social rule out of something that is arbitrary and down to emotions and looks.

 

Anyone who wants to make a rule out of this stuff is being irrational. Also, don't forget that women sometimes approach men. I have been approached a few times in bars, clubs or on the dance floor. If it is acceptable for women to do it then it cannot make any sense for women to turn around and say ridiculous stuff like "Men approach us in clubs when we are just out to see our friends" and get annoyed about it as if men being sociable in a social environment is a sin.