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Why do they always say that nice guys finish last?

disneyfan90

By disneyfan90,
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disneyfan90

disneyfan90

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I'm having trouble understanding this. Since I was a teenager, nice guys always made me weak in the knees. Whenever I met a nice guy who went out of his way for me even though he didn't have to, I'd spend days thinking about him. At that point, looks almost didn't matter to me, because I was so taken by his niceness. Even today, it's nice guys who make my heart completely go aflutter. On the other hand, I've met so-called bad boys too, but I never wanted to date them, no matter how attractive the guy was. Everyone I've ever dated has always been super nice--sometimes, nice to a fault.

 

I have a hard time understanding why many women go for "jerks" as they call it. Maybe I'm missing something?

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morbot_k

morbot_k

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Because a lot of nice guys are unassertive and overly agreeable. That doesn't mean you have to be a jerk. Just have a sense of self.

 

There's a difference between being nice to get what you want (which makes you just as much of a jerk as anyone else) and being kind but assertive.

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disneyfan90

disneyfan90

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Because a lot of nice guys are unassertive and overly agreeable. That doesn't mean you have to be a jerk. Just have a sense of self.

 

There's a difference between being nice to get what you want (which makes you just as much of a jerk as anyone else) and being kind but assertive.

 

Ah, this is true. That difference is what I was missing.

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LookAtThisPOst

LookAtThisPOst

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I think the only people that say this are guys that say they are "nice" but are really just kind of bitter and resentful towards women.

 

Not sure where you got THIS idea as the two don't even correlate.

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Woggle

Woggle

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in my 49 years I have yet to meet one (and that includes my mother)

 

You know how cynical I am when it comes to this and even I have met my share of normal and emotionally healthy women. It's not easy to find one that is single but you get lucky sometimes.

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OrangeParty

OrangeParty

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There are two types of "nice guys". There's the genuinely kind, polite and respectful type that makes you weak in the knees. They do nice things for you and make you feel appreciated. They treat servers and bussers nicely. They love your kid or your cat. They are nice to most, if not all, people, man or woman.

 

Then there is the "nice" guy who is really nothing more than an emotionally manipulative person. These are the guys who are generally bitter and resentful towards women, because they may have been rejected before. They are nice to you because they want to get in your pants. They believe that just because they are nice, they are now entitled to your body. They are the one who whine on Facebook that women only go after bad boys and ignore nice guys. They post passive aggressive stuffs about women and how they have been wronged because the woman did not return their attraction.

 

They hang around the woman and 'accidentally' bump into her so they they can chat, and pretty much find ways to insert themselves into the woman's life. Unrelentingly. Because one day, the woman will realize how good he is and how much she owes him for being nice.

 

These aren't nice people. These are self proclaimed manipulative jerks. They hate women. Same people who answer the question "Are women obligated to have sex with someone under certain circumstances?" with a "hell yeah". He isn't nice to her because he wants to support his friend, but to ingratiate her to him. And when she doesn't feel attracted to him?

 

"How dare you like someone who isn't me?"

"You owe me for all the time and effort I spent on you!"

 

With "nice" guys, it's all "ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME". Who cares what she thinks.

 

So yes, "nice" guys finish last, because nobody likes an entitled jerk who take to social media to whine and bitch and moan about women just because they didn't give up their body.

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preraph

preraph

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Nice guys who are social and confident finish first. Nice guys who don't know how to approach and have a relationship with women finish last. it's the latter who break out that cliche.

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alphamale

alphamale

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Nice guys who are social and confident finish first.

i would opine that they be called "regular guys"

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LookAtThisPOst

LookAtThisPOst

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Then there is the "nice" guy who is really nothing more than an emotionally manipulative person. These are the guys who are generally bitter and resentful towards women, because they may have been rejected before. They are nice to you because they want to get in your pants. They believe that just because they are nice, they are now entitled to your body. They are the one who whine on Facebook that women only go after bad boys and ignore nice guys. They post passive aggressive stuffs about women and how they have been wronged because the woman did not return their attraction.

 

I'm not sure how these are referred to as nice guys. These are actually jerks.

 

They are nice to you because they want to get in your pants.

 

They aren't nice guys, they are players.

 

Seems those here have their own personal definitions.

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todreaminblue

todreaminblue

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ill agree with two kinds of nice and take it one further.....

 

 

all guys are nice when you first meet them....mostly......if they have an interest in you ...if they like you at all for any reason ...they play charm.....they play nice.....some times this facade on genuinely bad guys drops fairly quickly....sometimes they so want to win you over.....they will behave nicely for a very long time......because they know you are watching them...they play nice......sometimes for months and months...until they feel they have won ...you arent that challenge anymore and they revert

 

thats why i always advocate getting to know a guy as a friend before a lover.....the dreaded friend zone ...so you can be with a genuinely nice guy without sex coming into the equation

 

 

genuinely nice guys might finish last......because honestly...it doesnt matter how many guys were there before it doesnt matter who was the first.....what matters is who becomes the last..and that guy is always coming last......its the best spot to be..it is few and far between definitely a rare beauty that the first is the last........deb

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smackie9

smackie9

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There are two types of "nice guys". There's the genuinely kind, polite and respectful type that makes you weak in the knees. They do nice things for you and make you feel appreciated. They treat servers and bussers nicely. They love your kid or your cat. They are nice to most, if not all, people, man or woman.

 

Then there is the "nice" guy who is really nothing more than an emotionally manipulative person. These are the guys who are generally bitter and resentful towards women, because they may have been rejected before. They are nice to you because they want to get in your pants. They believe that just because they are nice, they are now entitled to your body. They are the one who whine on Facebook that women only go after bad boys and ignore nice guys. They post passive aggressive stuffs about women and how they have been wronged because the woman did not return their attraction.

 

They hang around the woman and 'accidentally' bump into her so they they can chat, and pretty much find ways to insert themselves into the woman's life. Unrelentingly. Because one day, the woman will realize how good he is and how much she owes him for being nice.

 

These aren't nice people. These are self proclaimed manipulative jerks. They hate women. Same people who answer the question "Are women obligated to have sex with someone under certain circumstances?" with a "hell yeah". He isn't nice to her because he wants to support his friend, but to ingratiate her to him. And when she doesn't feel attracted to him?

 

"How dare you like someone who isn't me?"

"You owe me for all the time and effort I spent on you!"

 

With "nice" guys, it's all "ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME". Who cares what she thinks.

 

So yes, "nice" guys finish last, because nobody likes an entitled jerk who take to social media to whine and bitch and moan about women just because they didn't give up their body.

 

this!^^^^^^^^

 

Oh and the proverbial "OH YOU LED ME ON"!!!!! after you tell them there is no second date or you tell them you are not interested in a date with them.

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GemmaUK

GemmaUK

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There are two types of "nice guys". There's the genuinely kind, polite and respectful type that makes you weak in the knees. They do nice things for you and make you feel appreciated. They treat servers and bussers nicely. They love your kid or your cat. They are nice to most, if not all, people, man or woman.

 

Then there is the "nice" guy who is really nothing more than an emotionally manipulative person. These are the guys who are generally bitter and resentful towards women, because they may have been rejected before. They are nice to you because they want to get in your pants. They believe that just because they are nice, they are now entitled to your body. They are the one who whine on Facebook that women only go after bad boys and ignore nice guys. They post passive aggressive stuffs about women and how they have been wronged because the woman did not return their attraction.

 

They hang around the woman and 'accidentally' bump into her so they they can chat, and pretty much find ways to insert themselves into the woman's life. Unrelentingly. Because one day, the woman will realize how good he is and how much she owes him for being nice.

 

These aren't nice people. These are self proclaimed manipulative jerks. They hate women. Same people who answer the question "Are women obligated to have sex with someone under certain circumstances?" with a "hell yeah". He isn't nice to her because he wants to support his friend, but to ingratiate her to him. And when she doesn't feel attracted to him?

 

"How dare you like someone who isn't me?"

"You owe me for all the time and effort I spent on you!"

 

With "nice" guys, it's all "ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME". Who cares what she thinks.

 

So yes, "nice" guys finish last, because nobody likes an entitled jerk who take to social media to whine and bitch and moan about women just because they didn't give up their body.

 

 

 

Yep!

 

 

This is how all of the self proclaimed 'nice guys' I have dated have been.

 

 

If ever I hear 'nice guy' stated by a guy again I will walk...and fast.

 

 

They're drama queens, they like to pick at people, they love to lay blame on any other party.

 

 

A regular normal guy never states he is nice or bad or ..anything. He just is who he is and..it shows. :)

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WomenWubber

WomenWubber

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"Why do they always say that nice guys finish last?"

 

Because being nice won't win you any race or competition. Assertiveness, intelligence, quickness and wisdom will.

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OrangeParty

OrangeParty

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"Why do they always say that nice guys finish last?"

 

Because being nice won't win you any race or competition. Assertiveness, intelligence, quickness and wisdom will.

They aren't mutually exclusive.

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Robert Z

Robert Z

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In my experience, being nice wins no points at all unless there is some basic attraction in the first place. You can't win someone over with niceness no matter how genuine it might be. And men who aren't nice tell women what they want to hear. Just as in an interaction, be it social or for business, lying always has an advantage as long as you get away with it and are good at it.

 

The error in the thinking I think is that you will recognize when someone isn't nice. Mean and manipulative people are often very good at hiding their true selves and using everyone around them.

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GemmaUK

GemmaUK

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I'm having trouble understanding this. Since I was a teenager, nice guys always made me weak in the knees. Whenever I met a nice guy who went out of his way for me even though he didn't have to, I'd spend days thinking about him. At that point, looks almost didn't matter to me, because I was so taken by his niceness. Even today, it's nice guys who make my heart completely go aflutter. On the other hand, I've met so-called bad boys too, but I never wanted to date them, no matter how attractive the guy was. Everyone I've ever dated has always been super nice--sometimes, nice to a fault.

 

I have a hard time understanding why many women go for "jerks" as they call it. Maybe I'm missing something?

 

After my last post on here I felt the need to say..

Disney, you haven't dated 'nice guys' you have dated good men, simply good men.

 

 

There is a stark difference between the two.

I am lucky in that I have also mostly dated good men.

 

 

Nice guys and good men are a world apart.

You're not missing anything. :)

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Robert Z

Robert Z

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You are all playing word games and making things up. Look up the definitions. You can be an introverted and unassertive jerk. And you are equating nice with being mean and manipulative.

 

You can't just change the definitions to suit your needs and maintain credibility. I think what some people are saying is that they were fooled by mean people who pretended be nice. Rather than accept that you were duped, you are changing the definition. You make nice guys sound like creeps.

Edited by Robert Z
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smackie9

smackie9

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What they are saying is there are guys who claim or think they are nice but usually are not. They do nice things which in their mind should give them entitlement and if they don't get what they want, they blame the girl and get ugly about it.

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OrangeParty

OrangeParty

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You are all playing word games and making things up. Look up the definitions. You can be an introverted and unassertive jerk. And you are equating nice with being mean and manipulative.

We didn't give them the label. They are the one who call themselves "nice."

 

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--km81UJGh--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/188uwv3006lb2png.png

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GemmaUK

GemmaUK

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Another thing that nice guys do which is rife is tell women that their opinion is wrong.

 

 

Good men don't do that.

 

 

*shrug*

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