ttjames Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 This weekend I'm supposed to go help my ex move and also collect some of my stuff. We've been apart since january and have kept in contact occasionally. Our break up was mutual so we don't really have bad feelings toward each other. So now the possiblity of having sex is almost 100%, however I'm not really sure if it's a good idea. She has been with at least one if not more people since we've been apart, but I haven't been with anyone because I have not felt like a having a fling or getting into a relationship yet. So I'm just wondering how big of a deal is it to be with your ex again after you know that they have been with other people? I know the lame questions I want to ask her, but I also don't want to know the answers. I guess the only concern I should really have is if she's been safe about it... But I just can't help to think about these other people that she's been with ... Any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
smile Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 ok so how can you forget about the other ppl your ex was with? Lets see my ex had a gf and so I know they had sex... I dont know hwo many others he had.. I never asked. I am partially curious and partially not. He has asked me if I had sex with anyone. I hadnt. But when we did have sex the first time... I had nothing on my mind. That rekindling and familiarity is usually filled with enough tension and passion that you dont really think about much ... know what I mean? If you want just sex then just think of it that way and the others shouldnt matter. If you want a fresh start focus on you both and the others shouldnt matter. i understand the health issue and its valid. Did you two have that talk before you had sex when you first got together? If you want it to work you cant think of the others. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ttjames Posted April 4, 2005 Author Share Posted April 4, 2005 It's not a fresh start because we're not getting back together again now. She's leaving for Paris in a few weeks and will be gone in europe for a least 6 months to a year. I guess I don't even know what the point of having sex with her again.... If anything it will make me hold on to her more..... or it will make me upset because she's been with other people.. I don't really see much good to come from it either way.. I guess the more I think about it the more I realize that it's probably not a very good idea. Link to post Share on other sites
Damnluv Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 Sex with the Ex is bad, i think it will want you having for more. I wouldnt sleep with my ex unless she was back with me. Well lets hope so. Link to post Share on other sites
begman Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 I had sex with my ex after we broke up and it threw me into a complete tailspin. I was fine with the breakup because of how bad the relationship was towards the end. A couple weeks later she told me how much she missed me and invited me over for sex. I was weak and did and it completely screwed me up. I wanted to get back together after that and she didn't because she started hanging with some new guy. Sex with an ex is bad news unless you are both on the same page about getting back together. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Why are you helping her move? Just get your stuff and leave, unless you still feel something for her. Shouldn't her new boyfriends be doing this for her? How about her family? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ttjames Posted April 6, 2005 Author Share Posted April 6, 2005 I'm basicaly just picking up my stuff... which is the majority of the stuff in the apartment... but I'm also helping her move because we are still friends.. And yes we still do have feelings for each other... Our break up was because we're going in different directions in life, not because we're not compatible... I was just wondering about the sex issue... and how other people have handled the situation to have sex with an ex after they have been with other people.... Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Fair enough. If you're feeling it with her, you'll have sex regardless of what everyone's saying. Nobody turns down a freebie. Link to post Share on other sites
smile Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 My ex helped me move out of my old apt. On the way there he went on this long spiel about how he thought girls were too much trouble and he was thinking of being celibate for a while. He said he didnt need to have sex with someone he needed to be ok with himself before he connected with someone that way. Needless to say after 20 mins of trying to convince me he crumbled under the pressure. Apparently there arent a whole lot of things sexier than a room filled with cardboard boxes and the always chic moving clothes I was wearing. So yeh I agree with westernexer....you can say what you will but its about that moment. You do what you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
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