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Met someone. Great connection but URGH


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I met someone the other night.

 

A women the likes of which I haven't clicked with in forever.

 

The jokes, the conversation.. the shear ease of the evening with her astounded me.

 

It wasn't a formal date, we just met at a mutual friends party. Three days later and I'm still thinking about her.

 

But, she's 42 (I'm 36), she has a 13 year old son from a previous marriage.

It just seems like more than I could really handle. I want children my my own, plus I'm unsure even how to go about dating a single mother.

 

But I can't stop thinking about the connection we shared..

 

Curse it, I was just getting used to being on my own :-/

 

Why must the heart suddenly decide it wants something that completely fails to fit what we're chasing. So. Frustrating.

Edited by neowulf
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SycamoreCircle

So, you're seeking to be on your own or you're chasing women?

 

There seems to be contradiction in what you're saying. If you feel you had a strong connection with this woman, meet up with her again. Don't sweat the she's already got a kid part. A lot of single mothers are fiercely independent and aren't looking for a new father for their child. If you were to have some kind of union with her, it could serve as an excellent test-run for having children of your own down the line.

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So, you're seeking to be on your own or you're chasing women?

 

There seems to be contradiction in what you're saying. If you feel you had a strong connection with this woman, meet up with her again. Don't sweat the she's already got a kid part. A lot of single mothers are fiercely independent and aren't looking for a new father for their child. If you were to have some kind of union with her, it could serve as an excellent test-run for having children of your own down the line.

 

Perhaps I didn't explain myself. I was invited to a party by a friend of mine. I met this women at the party.

 

We just kind of started chatting. I wasn't looking to meet anyone.. but once we started talking, we were kind of glued at the hip for the rest of the night. At the end of the night, she commented that I'd "made her night".

 

It probably seems like a contradiction, because rationally I don't really want to get into a relationship right now. Emotionally, I just can't seem to get her out of my head... I keep thinking about her.

 

You do make some great points though. I just don't want to waste time or hurt people unnecessarily.

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I think there may be an advantage you aren't seeing...

 

Most women your age are going to have children. This woman isn't *that* much older and her child is very quickly becoming their own person and an adult so if the relationship continues (thinking 25+ years down the line!), the child will be out of the house within four to five years anyway.

 

The downside is that you might not be able to have your own children with this person. That is hard to say as there are a lot of women in their early forties having kids.

 

I wouldn't discount seeing her again because of her teenager if the connection is worth pursuing.

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SycamoreCircle

She's a big girl. Just take things one step at a time. Arrange a date with her. You may come away feeling entirely different about the first date. Most mature people recognize that dating brings a host of variables. If she makes you feel good emotionally, that's a good sign.

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She's a big girl. Just take things one step at a time. Arrange a date with her. You may come away feeling entirely different about the first date. Most mature people recognize that dating brings a host of variables. If she makes you feel good emotionally, that's a good sign.

 

You're right. Thanks for the perspectives guys.

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