I Like Him but I don't find him attractive

[PrettyEmily77]

Hi Loveshack

 

 

Newbie here, so please be kind! I've met this guy online a few weeks ago and we hit it off straight away. We're both in our late thirties, have the same outlook on life, we get on really well, he's funny and has a great personality; we communicate mostly by email and phone calls and it's been great all the time.

 

We recently exchanged photos and this is where I have a bit of a problem: he thinks I'm stunning, always gushes at how gorgeous he thinks I am but I don't feel I can return the favour because I don't feel attracted to him physically at all. I know this makes me sound shallow, especially because he is such a great guy and he really seems to have his sh*t together; also, before we even saw pictures of each other things got a bit frisky and out of control over the phone, and now I feel bad because I'm not sure I'd have done it had I seen his picture first.

 

 

We have agreed to meet in a few weeks' time (he has work commitments) but I'm dreading it now: I don't want to hurt his feelings and appear shallow, and also I'm thinking he might look completely different in real life so maybe I should give a chance?

 

 

Any advice from more experienced LDRers would be appreciated

[TMichaels]

We have agreed to meet in a few weeks' time (he has work commitments) but I'm dreading it now: I don't want to hurt his feelings and appear shallow...

 

 

*Appear* shallow? Based on what you've wrote, I'd say your a card-carrying, life member and poster child.

 

Actually, I think you should go see the guy so that he *knows* what sort of person you really are. Would be hilarious if *he* wasn't impressed with you in the flesh. My guess is that would be a new experience for you.

 

TMichaels

[PrettyEmily77]

*Appear* shallow? Based on what you've wrote, I'd say your a card-carrying, life member and poster child.

 

Actually, I think you should go see the guy so that he *knows* what sort of person you really are. Would be hilarious if *he* wasn't impressed with you in the flesh. My guess is that would be a new experience for you.

 

TMichaels

 

 

I was expecting a reaction like this one. People who think physical attraction doesn't matter in a relationship (especially in an LDR, in my opinion) are really lying to themselves - I never said he was unattractive, he's just not my type at all and I don't know whether I can adjust to that.

 

 

We live in different countries in Europe and I can see I'm going to find it a challenge committing myself to someone that doesn't do it for me physically, and all I wanted to know was if someone went through the same thing and was able to overcome it, if this is usual fear before meeting someone for the first time and if this can be overcome with time.

[compulsivedancer]

You won't know until you meet him. You may be surprised. Besides, you can find someone attractive in a photo and still not have any chemistry with him. Or vice versa.

[kimiky]

Well I don't know if this will help but in my experience, the looks didn't matter much to me when i met my boyfriend. I just saw few pics, didn't even know how tall or if he was fatty or skinny, because I wanted to accept himself as he was because he is an awesome guy and fits perfectly with me regarding personality. Maybe when you meet, you will be able to smell him, to see his proportions, his imperfections and good sides. If you never try in real life you never know, maybe you should meet as friends and have some back up plans if you don't really like him at all. Or either you should give yourself more time to talk to him and know more about him. You know you have to look for someone that has the same plans and ideals than you for life, I really appreciate my guy since it's almost impossible to find someone that isn't a mess with his life and it's an stable person.

[oldshirt]

Always get an accurate, current picture upfront immediately when starting to get to know each other online before you start making any kind of emotional investment into each other.

 

Better yet, meet and get to know people live and in person in your own town instead of burning up time and energy with people in different countries.

[kimiky]

Better yet, meet and get to know people live and in person in your own town instead of burning up time and energy with people in different countries.

 

Why people keep coming to an LRD forum to tell the others not to have an LDR? Live your lives and stop bothering other people, it's like we went to the marriage forum to tell people not to get married

[compulsivedancer]

Why people keep coming to an LRD forum to tell the others not to have an LDR? Live your lives and stop bothering other people, it's like we went to the marriage forum to tell people not to get married

 

I think he's saying for next time, so that she can avoid this issue altogether.

[sandylee1]

I don't think you are shallow at all . Physical attractions is important to many including myself. I would not date (when I was single) a skinny or a short guy. That's my preference and most people have a type.

 

If you can't get past the attraction thing, try pulling back from the relationship a bit. Take a break and see how much you miss him. That might help decide if you have strong feelings, despite the lack of attraction.

[oldshirt]

Why people keep coming to an LRD forum to tell the others not to have an LDR? Live your lives and stop bothering other people, it's like we went to the marriage forum to tell people not to get married

 

If there was a forum for people that beat themselves with hammers and they were posting about how much it hurt and how bad the bruising always is, don't you think people would occasionally stop by and tell them to seek assistance so that they would stop beating themselves with hammers?

 

That's how I view 99% of all the issues in the LDR forum. 99% of all heartache and issues could be solved if people could learn to meet and attract and interact personally with people in their own location.

 

I do try to stay out of it for those reasons but every now and then you have to pop in and tell people they wouldn't have all that pain and bruising if they could simply stop hitting themselves with hammers and learn not to inflict pain on themselves.

 

This one is a no-brainer, she is not shallow or superficial or anything of the kind. She made a mistake by becoming involved with someone electronically and becoming emotionally invested in someone she hadn't even seen.

[tam1984]

I'd say meet up with him and see how it goes.

 

Pics can be deceiving both ways.

 

If my bf and I had met online rather than in person...I don't know if we'd be together. In person, I am incredibly attracted to him. It is hard to explain...but it was more than his looks but also how he spoke, what he spoke about, how he walked, his mannerisms that got me. If I had just seen a pic of him, though...I probably wouldn't have found him as attractive as I do now. It's nothing against him. I find him good-looking...but he doesn't photograph well and part of his handsomeness comes from things other than his looks. If he and I were on a, say, dating site and I came across his profile pics/ profile I'd probably not find myself as drawn to him versus how we actually met. I've dated people conventionally better looking and worse looking than him..but something about him, when I first met him, really attracted me in a way nobody else has. A pic doesn't do him justice. It never will.

 

Same with people who look attractive in pics. There was a guy I very briefly dated who was physically very conventionally attractive...but who I felt no chemistry with (and who wasn't a particularly nice person tbh) and just couldn't bring myself to find him attractive. Friends of mine who saw pics of him thought I was crazy to stop seeing him...but, in person, his personality combined with his ego made him incredibly, incredibly unattractive to me.

 

I'd say give it a shot. Physical attraction is more than liking what you see in a photo imo.

Edited February 16, 2015 by tam1984

[PrettyEmily77]

Thanks all for the replies.

 

 

I know I shouldn't have gotten involved without seeing him first, but it's not something I had planned on doing (we didn't meet on a dating site) and somehow I got invested because there seems to be this great connection and I really like his personality.

 

 

I guess I'll see how it goes when we meet in 5 weeks' time, and if I don't think the attraction is there I'll have to gently let him know (and hope he does the same if he feels he's not attracted to me either).

[BlackOpsZombieGirl]

Hi Loveshack

 

 

Newbie here, so please be kind! I've met this guy online a few weeks ago and we hit it off straight away. We're both in our late thirties, have the same outlook on life, we get on really well, he's funny and has a great personality; we communicate mostly by email and phone calls and it's been great all the time.

 

We recently exchanged photos and this is where I have a bit of a problem: he thinks I'm stunning, always gushes at how gorgeous he thinks I am but I don't feel I can return the favour because I don't feel attracted to him physically at all. I know this makes me sound shallow, especially because he is such a great guy and he really seems to have his sh*t together; also, before we even saw pictures of each other things got a bit frisky and out of control over the phone, and now I feel bad because I'm not sure I'd have done it had I seen his picture first.

 

 

We have agreed to meet in a few weeks' time (he has work commitments) but I'm dreading it now: I don't want to hurt his feelings and appear shallow, and also I'm thinking he might look completely different in real life so maybe I should give a chance?

 

 

Any advice from more experienced LDRers would be appreciated

 

I sympathize with you, Emily. I, too, had started writing emails/texts to a guy that I had met on an online dating site. What's different with my situation from yours, is that his picture was already posted on his profile. In hindsight, I probably should've just never encouraged him by writing to him, but (like you), I didn't want to be "shallow". So, in communicating with this guy for a few weeks, I found out that we have some things in common, he has his act together and didn't seem to be a weirdo, perv, psycho or an emotionally damaged guy. I liked his personality....but it was sad because I wasn't physically attracted to him in ANY way.

 

For anyone here who calls Emily "shallow", that's just a knee-jerk reaction. In the game of romance - from a biological/evolutionary standpoint - sexual and physical attraction IS important; it's what attracts us FIRST to a person. The SECOND thing to attract us to that same person is their personality, the chemistry that we feel between each other and how we each view the world. It's NOT "shallow" for a person to not want to date someone else because they're not physically/sexually attracted to them.

 

Men in particular do this and talk about this ALL of the time! Such a double standard: if a guy doesn't think a girl is "hot", if she doesn't have a "nice rack", if she's too "chubby", if she's a "BBW" or if she's not height/weight proportionate, if she doesn't have a nice "ass", then they want NOTHING to do with her! They might date her to eventually have sex with her just to settle or because they want to pass the time until they do meet a girl that they ARE physically/sexually attracted to. We ALL have physical characteristics that we look for in a person so that we can be physically AND sexually attracted to them.

 

I eventually let this guy fade away because I KNEW that it wouldn't work out between him and I. Just as men have to be attracted to a woman before they'd want to date them, we women also have to be attracted to the guy that we want to date! It goes both ways, people.

[preraph]

Physical attraction is essential if you want to enjoy keeping your sex life active. Now, what people find attractive varies widely. But you are who you are, and you're like most people and need to have the attraction.

 

I think you need to tell him BEFORE he spends money coming to see you that at this time you think of him only as a friend. It will just be much worse for him if he spends money and thinks he's going to get laid and a girlfriend and then goes home broke and brokenhearted.

 

That happened to me in the early internet days. I got very excited about a guy overseas. I just found him thrilling, the way he wrote, how brilliant he was about music, etc. I still love him to death and occasionally we touch base over music news, but once I saw his photo, it just wasn't on. He looked real goofy. Now, maybe he sent me a goofy photo intentionally, but it seems like he sent another after that as well. I mean, who knows if there would have been any chemistry. Once in a blue moon I surprise myself, but he just didn't have the face or hair I am attracted to and he didn't seem like he put much effort into how he looked, and I like guys who put some effort into it.

 

Just please let this guy know you're only feeling like friends. I mean, you could lie and say you met someone and didn't want to meet because of that, but he would just hang around hoping you'd break up. And you'd have to keep lying.

 

You could even tell him in a lighthearted way, "You know, once I realized you might actually materialize, I realized that we've shared so much personal information that I feel more sisterly toward you than anything. It's my own failing that I can't ever come back from that, but I know myself well enough to know I can't. Are you going to be content spending all that money and getting here just to be platonic friends?"

[PrettyEmily77]

I sympathize with you, Emily. I, too, had started writing emails/texts to a guy that I had met on an online dating site. What's different with my situation from yours, is that his picture was already posted on his profile. In hindsight, I probably should've just never encouraged him by writing to him, but (like you), I didn't want to be "shallow". So, in communicating with this guy for a few weeks, I found out that we have some things in common, he has his act together and didn't seem to be a weirdo, perv, psycho or an emotionally damaged guy. I liked his personality....but it was sad because I wasn't physically attracted to him in ANY way.

 

For anyone here who calls Emily "shallow", that's just a knee-jerk reaction. In the game of romance - from a biological/evolutionary standpoint - sexual and physical attraction IS important; it's what attracts us FIRST to a person. The SECOND thing to attract us to that same person is their personality, the chemistry that we feel between each other and how we each view the world. It's NOT "shallow" for a person to not want to date someone else because they're not physically/sexually attracted to them.

 

Men in particular do this and talk about this ALL of the time! Such a double standard: if a guy doesn't think a girl is "hot", if she doesn't have a "nice rack", if she's too "chubby", if she's a "BBW" or if she's not height/weight proportionate, if she doesn't have a nice "ass", then they want NOTHING to do with her! They might date her to eventually have sex with her just to settle or because they want to pass the time until they do meet a girl that they ARE physically/sexually attracted to. We ALL have physical characteristics that we look for in a person so that we can be physically AND sexually attracted to them.

 

I eventually let this guy fade away because I KNEW that it wouldn't work out between him and I. Just as men have to be attracted to a woman before they'd want to date them, we women also have to be attracted to the guy that we want to date! It goes both ways, people.

 

Thank you so much for this post! I was really starting to feel bad. I know I put myself in a tricky situation, and I also know he has already decided he was attracted to me physically, which worries me a little bit.

 

 

I'll go and meet him and give it a shot; you never know, he might not look anything like his photo in person.

[PrettyEmily77]

Physical attraction is essential if you want to enjoy keeping your sex life active. Now, what people find attractive varies widely. But you are who you are, and you're like most people and need to have the attraction.

 

I think you need to tell him BEFORE he spends money coming to see you that at this time you think of him only as a friend. It will just be much worse for him if he spends money and thinks he's going to get laid and a girlfriend and then goes home broke and brokenhearted.

 

That happened to me in the early internet days. I got very excited about a guy overseas. I just found him thrilling, the way he wrote, how brilliant he was about music, etc. I still love him to death and occasionally we touch base over music news, but once I saw his photo, it just wasn't on. He looked real goofy. Now, maybe he sent me a goofy photo intentionally, but it seems like he sent another after that as well. I mean, who knows if there would have been any chemistry. Once in a blue moon I surprise myself, but he just didn't have the face or hair I am attracted to and he didn't seem like he put much effort into how he looked, and I like guys who put some effort into it.

 

Just please let this guy know you're only feeling like friends. I mean, you could lie and say you met someone and didn't want to meet because of that, but he would just hang around hoping you'd break up. And you'd have to keep lying.

 

You could even tell him in a lighthearted way, "You know, once I realized you might actually materialize, I realized that we've shared so much personal information that I feel more sisterly toward you than anything. It's my own failing that I can't ever come back from that, but I know myself well enough to know I can't. Are you going to be content spending all that money and getting here just to be platonic friends?"

 

 

Thanks for this. I'm the one doing the traveling (I have family near where he lives and was planning on going anyway) - I feel I owe him to meet up at least, and I'd rather have this conversation face to face. You never know, seeing him might make me change my mind!

[fitnessfan365]

Emily, first let me say that I think people are being WAY too hard on you. Everyone should want to have someone to be in love and in lust with. Good for you for actually being honest about it, and not pretending that looks don't matter like some women do.

 

But..photos are BS. I can say from personal experience that some people don't photograph well..AT ALL. In real life I work as a personal trainer. So I'm in great shape, and female clients/gym members always hit on me. However, I'm professional and don't date where I work. Then my best friend moved away and I became more of a homebody. So I caved and tried online dating. My pictures are terrible. I look 20-30lbs heavier than I am and since I hate being photographed, I always look uncomfortable. I get rejected 90% of the time online. Then when a woman does meet me, she won't shut up about "how much hotter I am than my pics".

 

So this guy could be a very attractive man in person, but just take crappy photos. Since you feel like you have a connection, at least see what he actually looks like.

[carhill]

Any advice from more experienced LDRers would be appreciated

 

Back when I was international dating (10-12 hours by plane), it was before such technologies as Skype and video chat. Back then, we'd make QuickTime movie clips from shooting 8mm video and send them via e-mail. I found that worked a lot better than still photos, probably because I photograph like crap

 

I'd try video chat and see how things go.

[justwhoiam]

Hi PrettyEmily77,

 

There'd be so many things to say about this thread. I don't mean to tackle them all, but I can handle a few.

 

First of all, I hope you don't get me wrong and can read what I too have to say.

 

1. Your name on the forum tells me that you put enough value on looks and you are self-aware of your own good looks (whether this is true or not, it's just the impression you give through your name)

 

2. When a woman's card interacting with other people (but that would still be valid for a man) is going to primarily be good looks, the reaction might not be too gentle

 

3. How did the 'feeling shallow' thought got into your head to begin with? How did it start to go through your mind? Why do you think you feel that way and that makes you feel bad?

 

4. Now, with points 1, 2 and 3 in mind, I definitely think that a person must feel attracted to someone to get the necessary sexual tension and get sparks flying around. Who can deny that. But how often must the man be handsome for it to happen? In my case and I'm ready to bet in most women's life story: rarely.

 

5. You later clarified that "he's just not your type". That sounds more reasonable to say for me, because we all have something that gets us turned on. There are people going nuts for a certain pair of glasses, high-heeled shoes, or moustaches, toned butt, or anything else. It's part of who they are. They have sexual triggers.

 

6. So, considering point #5 above, what is it all about? I came to the conclusion that there might be two cases for which you don't feel attracted to someone:

a) nothing in them sends sexual vibes/triggers to you

b) something in them turns you off

 

7. As you didn't mention anything in particular about this man that you don't like, I guess your case falls in the 'a' category.

 

8. Is it possible that you feel as case 'a' looking at a picture? Absolutely, yes.

 

9. How reliable is that feeling described at point #8? In my experience, unreliable.

 

All that said, I think it's good that we somehow select people we want to be with based on certain features, personalities, values, characteristics, etc. There are women who screen men based on what they do for a living. Does what you do define who you are? Not always, but probably. Does that make those women shallow? Probably.

 

Finally, I too think that you should make it clear that you're meeting him with no expectations of feeling the necessary chemistry. So that he's aware of that. Because chances are he thinks you like him. And it's just fair that you let him know.

 

Funny enough, I was not attracted to my man. He sent me pictures through the years, while we were friends. When we met, it definitely went otherwise. And anyway, he looked different than in the pictures.

 

Keep us posted.

[PrettyEmily77]

Hi PrettyEmily77,

 

There'd be so many things to say about this thread. I don't mean to tackle them all, but I can handle a few.

 

First of all, I hope you don't get me wrong and can read what I too have to say.

 

1. Your name on the forum tells me that you put enough value on looks and you are self-aware of your own good looks (whether this is true or not, it's just the impression you give through your name)

 

2. When a woman's card interacting with other people (but that would still be valid for a man) is going to primarily be good looks, the reaction might not be too gentle

 

3. How did the 'feeling shallow' thought got into your head to begin with? How did it start to go through your mind? Why do you think you feel that way and that makes you feel bad?

 

4. Now, with points 1, 2 and 3 in mind, I definitely think that a person must feel attracted to someone to get the necessary sexual tension and get sparks flying around. Who can deny that. But how often must the man be handsome for it to happen? In my case and I'm ready to bet in most women's life story: rarely.

 

5. You later clarified that "he's just not your type". That sounds more reasonable to say for me, because we all have something that gets us turned on. There are people going nuts for a certain pair of glasses, high-heeled shoes, or moustaches, toned butt, or anything else. It's part of who they are. They have sexual triggers.

 

6. So, considering point #5 above, what is it all about? I came to the conclusion that there might be two cases for which you don't feel attracted to someone:

a) nothing in them sends sexual vibes/triggers to you

b) something in them turns you off

 

7. As you didn't mention anything in particular about this man that you don't like, I guess your case falls in the 'a' category.

 

8. Is it possible that you feel as case 'a' looking at a picture? Absolutely, yes.

 

9. How reliable is that feeling described at point #8? In my experience, unreliable.

 

All that said, I think it's good that we somehow select people we want to be with based on certain features, personalities, values, characteristics, etc. There are women who screen men based on what they do for a living. Does what you do define who you are? Not always, but probably. Does that make those women shallow? Probably.

 

Finally, I too think that you should make it clear that you're meeting him with no expectations of feeling the necessary chemistry. So that he's aware of that. Because chances are he thinks you like him. And it's just fair that you let him know.

 

Funny enough, I was not attracted to my man. He sent me pictures through the years, while we were friends. When we met, it definitely went otherwise. And anyway, he looked different than in the pictures.

 

Keep us posted.

 

 

Hi there

 

 

Thanks for the reply.

 

 

Firstly, my name isn't Emily; that's my little niece's name, and she is very pretty. Maybe I should have clarified earlier, sorry about the confusion.

 

 

I worried about being shallow because I'm not normally that bothered about looks and I didn't want anyone to think he wasn't attractive; he's just not my normal type. He's a bit nerdy and very tall and I'm a gym bunny who likes fellow gym bunnies generally.

 

 

We're meeting in a few weeks' time, and I've already told him about not having expectations and seeing how it goes; to be fair to him, he took it well, which is making me like him even more.

 

 

I've never been in an LDR but he has, I think, so really I'm just confused more than anything.

 

 

I'll keep you posted once I've met him.

[PrettyEmily77]

Emily, first let me say that I think people are being WAY too hard on you. Everyone should want to have someone to be in love and in lust with. Good for you for actually being honest about it, and not pretending that looks don't matter like some women do.

 

But..photos are BS. I can say from personal experience that some people don't photograph well..AT ALL. In real life I work as a personal trainer. So I'm in great shape, and female clients/gym members always hit on me. However, I'm professional and don't date where I work. Then my best friend moved away and I became more of a homebody. So I caved and tried online dating. My pictures are terrible. I look 20-30lbs heavier than I am and since I hate being photographed, I always look uncomfortable. I get rejected 90% of the time online. Then when a woman does meet me, she won't shut up about "how much hotter I am than my pics".

 

So this guy could be a very attractive man in person, but just take crappy photos. Since you feel like you have a connection, at least see what he actually looks like.

 

 

Thanks for that. Like you say, maybe he doesn't take a good photo.

I do think looks matter in that I want to be attracted to the guy, and I'm sure everyone is the same. I also think it's hypocritical to try and hide it.

[MRSR31]

I was expecting a reaction like this one. People who think physical attraction doesn't matter in a relationship (especially in an LDR, in my opinion) are really lying to themselves - I never said he was unattractive, he's just not my type at all and I don't know whether I can adjust to that.

 

 

We live in different countries in Europe and I can see I'm going to find it a challenge committing myself to someone that doesn't do it for me physically, and all I wanted to know was if someone went through the same thing and was able to overcome it, if this is usual fear before meeting someone for the first time and if this can be overcome with time.

 

I befriended a guy I met on this forum. I never considered him romantically because the crazy thread he initiated on site featured him being torn between two reportedly phenomenal women and because he is 5 years my junior. But we were immediately magnetic like you described. He asked for my number and I gave it to him cuz I was suffering from a broken heart and figured the distraction would do me good.

 

During the course of our first conversation we exchanged pictures. I nearly fell off my chair because he looked nothing like I thought he should. That is his voice was captivating and he exuded the joie de viver I have seen only in the fantastic looking bright young man. The disparity was just surprising but it didn't matter for reasons previously stated. We soon switched to texting figuring international long distance would be quite a financial ding. Although most of the conversation was about the nutty relationships he was involved in with girls 10 years younger than me he ended our conversation with "good night sexy" and I though ugh! First thing the following morning was a text from him "good morning sexy" and every morning thereafter.

 

That was over a year ago and I am so head-over-heals in love with this man. We don't have a snowballs chance in hell at making it into something concrete for dozens of reasons. But we average 10000 texts per month and every single one he sends I receive as if a little daisy were sprouting from my phone. This nontraditional often painful relationship is bar none the most sacred one of my life.

 

This is a man I would have cold shouldered in a public venue. This is a man that keeps me so satiated that I have not the time nor inclination to look for a local. I have left very handsome charming men mid date because his daisy text was the impetus for yet another thrilling yammathon. Geography has nothing on him.

 

I never believed that looks could be overlooked. I was touted for being extraordinarily picky. Maybe they can't but in my story they are truly irrelevant. When he shoots me a selfie my eyes well up at the sight of my everything. It's really impossible to explain.

 

That being said and IMO if you can walk away then the pull isn't great enough to overcome the traditional needs for aesthetics conducive to physical attraction. I continue to try to walk away from this one and there is just no friggen way. He says to me when I kick up a storm "knock it off! We have to try and get along cuz we are stuck." And he is right. I love him like it is my job.

[PrettyEmily77]

Thank you so much for this, that's so inspiring!!! In a way that's what I wanted to hear, and that's making me so much more hopeful for when we do meet in 3 weeks' time. There's something about him I can't explain, and that's exciting me and confusing me all at the same time. It's not that I have an obsession with looks, but I always thought it was an important part of being attracted to someone. I always thought I knew my type and I've been told all my exes look very similar, but now I'm not so sure. I still think I want to be attracted to him physically, but maybe it's because I don't know him well enough. We don't speak everyday because we're both busy but when we do it's amazing.

 

 

Sorry to hear you can't meet with your man - do you think this could be part of the appeal? Is there really no chance of you making it in real life? Sorry to be asking this, but what you have is so special it just screams for a happy ending that way.

[MRSR31]

Thank you so much for this, that's so inspiring!!! In a way that's what I wanted to hear, and that's making me so much more hopeful for when we do meet in 3 weeks' time. There's something about him I can't explain, and that's exciting me and confusing me all at the same time. It's not that I have an obsession with looks, but I always thought it was an important part of being attracted to someone. I always thought I knew my type and I've been told all my exes look very similar, but now I'm not so sure. I still think I want to be attracted to him physically, but maybe it's because I don't know him well enough. We don't speak everyday because we're both busy but when we do it's amazing.

 

 

Sorry to hear you can't meet with your man - do you think this could be part of the appeal? Is there really no chance of you making it in real life? Sorry to be asking this, but what you have is so special it just screams for a happy ending that way.

It took a longtime for me to drop that concern. One day he sent me a 12 second video where I got to see him animated. That was the turning point. I was speechless and actually a little intimidated just as I would have been with "attractive guy". He was boyish while oozing masculinity and I will never forget that sparkle in his eye. Over the next six months he gave me such a run for the money while treating me like a princess. So yes some things combined trump a tight traditional package exponentially. He driving me wild right now as I write this.

[PrettyEmily77]

It took a longtime for me to drop that concern. One day he sent me a 12 second video where I got to see him animated. That was the turning point. I was speechless and actually a little intimidated just as I would have been with "attractive guy". He was boyish while oozing masculinity and I will never forget that sparkle in his eye. Over the next six months he gave me such a run for the money while treating me like a princess. So yes some things combined trump a tight traditional package exponentially. He driving me wild right now as I write this.

 

 

How nice! It must also be frustrating, I imagine.

 

 

I have to admit that the thought of seeing him does make me smile; I almost want to jump on the first plane tomorrow and get it over and done with! The more I think about it, the more I think I'm being silly just focusing on a couple of photos when everything else about him is so amazing. All will be clearer in 3 weeks...

 

 

Thanks all for the contributions, they all helped in some way