SpiralOut Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 I've been posting on LS for some time. I looked over some of my older threads. In many of them, I described myself as "someone who used to be negative but isn't anymore." Looking back I can see that wasn't completely true. I THOUGHT that I had become more positive. I certainly tried very hard to be. But the truth is that I still had (and have) negative thoughts about myself and other people. The only thing that changed was my awareness. I became more aware of how I was talking, how I came across, and how unhappy it was making me. I also saw how being that way might push away good people and attract equally negative people. So I tried to stop being that way.... but mostly I just got better at hiding it. On the inside, I am still thinking rude things. I spend too much time thinking about people I dislike, perseverating over things they have said or done and letting my hatred build up. Anyway I don't know what to do aside from forcing my attention more towards positive things. I am putting more attention towards my personal projects. It seems I am becoming better friends with a couple of girls I know. Things are going really well with my boyfriend. I've been too focused on my workplace too, so I'm trying to pull my head away from it. I've been trying harder to do nice things for people when I am able to, or when I think to do it. I am volunteering with a garden committee. We meet once a month and I help them with computer stuff. They are appreciative, which feels really good. I have volunteered elsewhere and felt unappreciated, since they kept forgetting my name. This might sound weird but I am also planning to paint my apartment soon. It is something I have wanted to do for a few years. I'm still stressed out about finances. I think that will change once I find my direction. I've been struggling to find my purpose. I think I'm getting close. That's it for now. Thought I would provide an update since it is a breakthrough for me to realize that I'm not as positive as I thought I was. I still have a ways to go. Link to post Share on other sites
proactivedreamer Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 I am not sure if it is possible to never experience negativity, but surely it is something you can minimize or at least increase your awareness of, which it seems like you are already doing. This article seems appropriate, so I thought I'd share it: The science and practise of compassion: Why we don?t need to invoke spirituality to understand and benefit from compassionate action? | The Eclectic Moose Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 You need to buy the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. It's one of my favourite books and keeps me in the moment and live to for today. Thinking badly of others is a waste of your time and energy, it takes away from the good things and good people in your life. Maybe even consider buying a book about CBT (Cognitive behaviour therapy) so you can learn how to stop thinking so much of others in a bad/negative way, as well as beating up on yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpiralOut Posted February 19, 2015 Author Share Posted February 19, 2015 I am not sure if it is possible to never experience negativity, but surely it is something you can minimize or at least increase your awareness of, which it seems like you are already doing. This article seems appropriate, so I thought I'd share it: The science and practise of compassion: Why we don?t need to invoke spirituality to understand and benefit from compassionate action? | The Eclectic Moose Thanks for the interesting read. It explains why I can't feel compassion towards certain people.... first they piss me off, then when I try to understand them, I can't. Then I get even more angry because I have no idea why they behave that way. They simply make no sense to me. You need to buy the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. It's one of my favourite books and keeps me in the moment and live to for today. Thinking badly of others is a waste of your time and energy, it takes away from the good things and good people in your life. Maybe even consider buying a book about CBT (Cognitive behaviour therapy) so you can learn how to stop thinking so much of others in a bad/negative way, as well as beating up on yourself. Thanks. I found a copy at the library and have put it on hold. I know it's a waste of my time to dwell on things but even knowing that, I still can't stop. I look back to my younger years when I was happier and the way I dealt with annoying people was a) think to myself "wow they are annoying" then b) go do something else and forget all about it. I want to be able to do that again. Link to post Share on other sites
KimmyBee Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 You need to buy the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. It's one of my favourite books and keeps me in the moment and live to for today. Thinking badly of others is a waste of your time and energy, it takes away from the good things and good people in your life. My therapist recommended that book to me Must get it I'm in the same boat, am very negative and it is ruining my life and holding me back. Used to be level headed but got caught up with an extremely negative person and I let it rub off on me. It is a difficult cycle to get out of when you get used to it. I suggest reading that book and maybe getting therapy. It has helped me but got a way to go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpiralOut Posted March 16, 2015 Author Share Posted March 16, 2015 I am more than halfway through the book and it is helping already. There is someone who tends to get under my skin. I read a few chapters of the book. She said something rude. I pulled myself away from my mind and looked at the situation for what it was. I didn't feel offended. I felt no urge to reply. What an amazing feeling. It will be a challenge to keep this up. I daydream easily. It's tough to stay present. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Great progress! Yes the book is quite powerful, I find I can only read one chapter at a time, it's just a lot to take in and digest...And then practice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Auspecial Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 I am more than halfway through the book and it is helping already. There is someone who tends to get under my skin. I read a few chapters of the book. She said something rude. I pulled myself away from my mind and looked at the situation for what it was. I didn't feel offended. I felt no urge to reply. What an amazing feeling. It will be a challenge to keep this up. I daydream easily. It's tough to stay present. During especially stressful or chaotic times in my life when I haven't been as organized, I find that making a poster or large dry-erase board with a large representation of my goals and intentions helps. Then, no matter what other multi-tasking things preventing me from focusing, my most key thoughts are front and center, visually. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpiralOut Posted March 16, 2015 Author Share Posted March 16, 2015 During especially stressful or chaotic times in my life when I haven't been as organized, I find that making a poster or large dry-erase board with a large representation of my goals and intentions helps. Then, no matter what other multi-tasking things preventing me from focusing, my most key thoughts are front and center, visually. That's a good idea. I have a dry erase board on my fridge that I use for organizing my day-to-day tasks, otherwise I get distracted by other things and forget. I should try making a poster of my long term goals too. Right now I'm reading a library copy of the book. I'll probably buy my own copy so I can keep re-read it whenever I need to. Link to post Share on other sites
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