TheOneWhoKnows Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 My now ex girlfriend broke up with me about 4 months ago. We decided to cut all contact, and we have managed to do so since the breakup; until yesterday. I was hanging out with couple of my friends, when suddenly all of us received text message from my ex, which only contained a heart (We were all very good friends with my ex. My friends still kept contact with her after our breakup). We told ourselves that it was probably just one of her friends who had taken her phone and was having some fun. However, later that evening I decided to reply, asking "who was having fun?". She replied "Oh, it was me, honey". I obviously thought someone was joking still, and ignored the message. Fifteen minutes later, she sends another message asking why I didn't answer, and told her I thought someone had taken her phone. She answered with a simple ok, before the conversation continued. After a while, she started talking about how she had just recently watched the Fifty Shades movie, and how she third-wheeled. She asked me if I had seen the movie, I told her no, and she said she'd gladly watch it again. I had no idea if she wanted me to go with her or not, so I quickly changed the topic. The rest of the conversation was very casual, talking about our plans for the next day; she told me was going to work at four. We talked for almost two hours. Two at night, I texted her that it would be a good idea to go to sleep. She replied with "Ok, good night :D", and we went to sleep. I woke up a couple of times through the night, and every time there was a new message on my phone from my ex. "I can't fall asleep", "I'm not tired at all" and even "Should I sleep with socks or not?" (Which I found amusing). The next day the conversation continued. The topics were very casual. Around three she stopped answering me, as she probably went to work (My message has been "seen" though). Now I'm here, very confused. Why do you think she would contact me again? We did agree to stay friends after the break up, at the same time as we agreed on no contact. I have no idea what to think. Still, she sent hearts to all of my friends as well, which means I wasn't the only person she tried contacting. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheOneWhoKnows Posted February 17, 2015 Author Share Posted February 17, 2015 Update: Been talking with her for quite a while today, but the more we talk, the more I feel like I'm the one starting to keep the conversation going. I'm so confused about everything right now... Link to post Share on other sites
quattrob Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 I would keep NC or if you're not strong enough yet keep LC. My ex-gf is kind of like yours but mine is even more confused about herself than yours. Girls like these you shouldn't give them the attention that they seek just because they come to you. You need to show them that you don't give it out whenever she wants it. If you do that she'll only use you in the end, nothing comes out of it. Trust me, my ex tried to do that to me, telling me she misses me and thinking of me. Even asked if I was seeing someone. I told her to not to talk to me and let me go completely. You may think that these girls will just do as you ask but I tell you, they don't because these girls are confused about themselves. I'm sure mine will start looking for me after awhile. So listen to my advice, she may be bored/lonely/etc but after all this ends, she wouldn't look for you much anymore. Move on with your life and forget about her, it's the best approach to everything. If she comes to you and tells you she wants to try again, THEN you can choose if you want to or not. Don't settle for less and don't let some girl who's too selfish, stubborn and confused control your life. There are other girls and other things in this world that you will find ALOT better than her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 It was Valentine's Day weekend and she felt lonely. I can tell you one thing, she feels lonely and she decided to reach out to you because you were always there for her in the past. I dont know if she wants to get back together with you or not, but her reaching out to you had more to do with her than you. Call it selfish on her behalf, but i advise you not to jump the gun and chase after her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 quattrob is right on "Oh, it was me, honey" "Ok, good night :D" Just be aware that that is her being manipulative. You don't go NC for 4 months and then start throwing out crap like that, just like you were never a part. Beware. She sent a breadcrumb, and a bad one at that, and you bit. MY ex started calling me pet names, using smiley faces and I never responded with anything other than her name or just hey. go back to NC right away and see what her actions are. She is not showing you anything that says she wants to get back and you are trying to play too much into what she is saying, which she really has said nothing. If you are confused, it is because there is nothing clear from her. She was bored or lonely and that appears to be just it. If she does want to do anything, then make it a lunch or something like that if she wants to talk about getting back with you. Do not just go see a movie with her like everything is the same. You cannot just be friends. It does not work that way. Link to post Share on other sites
quattrob Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 (edited) Would just like to add what xpaperxcutx said was right about it was valentine's weekend and that she only felt the way she does (lonely, missing you etc) because its valentine's and this day reminds her of you and her being lonely this year. These girls have no shame, they'd do anything to get what they want. In this case contact you and talk sweet with you, put stuff in your head just so they feel they are valued. Mine sent me an cute emoticon out of the blue on valentines day and asked if she can talk to me. I was working so i ignored it, then 15mins later she kept calling me like crazy. I finally msged her and asked her whats up, she just tells me she misses me and was thinking of me. I told her we arent together anymore. She said she knows. She just admits to being selfish and stubborn. At first i had this hope that she maybe wanted to reconcile. But the more i talked to her the more clear it was. She was only calling me because she felt lonely and misses being with someone that cared about her. I was her previous bf so its obvious she'll look for me to fill in that void. Listen to me again tc, if you give her what she wants over time these loneliness/boredom/missing you will diminish, when its all gone, she wont care or look for u anymore. You will be the one confused, hurt and used. Time to stand up for yourself and let this girl know you wont tolerate her any longer. And only then she will start respecting you and perhaps even think about getting back with you. Edited February 17, 2015 by quattrob 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 It's nothing, move on and dont answer. She sent hearts to everyone? Let's be extreme for a minute and assume she sent it to everyone just as an excuse to reach you out. But it's only an icon. it means "i feel a bit insecure and lonely in my life and i need and upper hand. i need some one who will want me, and i will reject him for my ego". That's what it means. Link to post Share on other sites
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