The affair, the backstory and the aftermath...

[Selfish]

Grizzly, to help us understand how did you wind up doing the OM?

 

 

Why did your BH say you have my blessings go for it?

 

 

Has you or your BH ever open up your marriage before this?

 

 

I would appreciate if you can paint us a story of how this came about. And who found out after about the first and second time you and the OM hooked up.

Its all there already.

[Spectre]

Her husband and I find it hard to call him a BH when he gave the green light for his WW to bang the OM for the first time.

 

 

Has shown that he is incompetent to make decisions prior to D day and post D day. His WW is faced with the responsibility to make the decisions in matters of recovery.

 

 

I am not surprised that their open marriage when down the drain.

 

 

I am surprised that many here are not citing how it happens all to often where the husband and wife decide to have an open marriage. The wife is not to keep secrets of who and when she is banging, that the wife can only bang a man that the husband is ok with, if the husband has to be there, and whatever ground rules are laid down.

 

 

Thing is time after time the OM wants more. The OM convinces the WW to break all the rules and they wind up having a full blown affair, keeping the BH in the dark, until the WW wants a divorce and move in with the OM.

 

But he was betrayed though. Yes, at one time he was on board with her having sex with other men. It's weird and I'm not into it, but meh it happened. I'd never advise it, but it happened. But what also happened is he told her to stop and she did not. That is betrayal. Even if you gave someone permission before..things can change.

 

If this was a case of he gave her permission and then afterwards was mad, I'd agree. But he specifically said to stop. It doesn't get more clean cut then that. At that point if she couldn't stop she should of said something. Not saying anything and then having sex with him again is when the betrayal occurred.

 

This is what sometimes bugs me about these cases, the cases where people bring someone else into bed, everyone always assumes that hey..if you give them permission once they get permission always...so if this person is upset over cheating it is somehow lesser then a normal person who isn't into cuckolding. That isn't right at all, we are all adults. So I don't think a person gets a free pass in these cases. Cheating is cheating and in some ways it is more clear cut in these cases because sex with other people WAS had at some point and then the wife was told the H isn't cool with it, so that is pretty straight up as to what he does and does not want.

 

Like I said, I don't advise swinging or cuckolding or wife swapping or anything, but I also think if you do those things there are rules to follow, and if you can't follow them you should not participate in these acts to begin with.

[road]

 

 

 

This is what sometimes bugs me about these cases, the cases where people bring someone else into bed, everyone always assumes that hey..if you give them permission once they get permission always...so if this person is upset over cheating it is somehow lesser then a normal person who isn't into cuckolding. That isn't right at all, we are all adults. So I don't think a person gets a free pass in these cases. Cheating is cheating and in some ways it is more clear cut in these cases because sex with other people WAS had at some point and then the wife was told the H isn't cool with it, so that is pretty straight up as to what he does and does not want.

 

Like I said, I don't advise swinging or cuckolding or wife swapping or anything, but I also think if you do those things there are rules to follow, and if you can't follow them you should not participate in these acts to begin with.

 

 

 

There is nothing to be bugged about. Sex is how a bond between the wife and the FB grows. To where emotional bonding then gets made due to the continued physical boning, err I meant bonding.

 

 

This then sets up to where the FB becomes the OM and he does not want to share "his" woman. And, the Hot Wife becomes a WW and see's her BH as being weak because her BH is not mate protecting her because he is allowing another mad to bang her. The BH is allowing the risk of her being pregnant by the OM further devaluing the BH in the WW's eyes.

 

 

The BH realizes things with the WW and OM have gone to far when it is already too late and wants the marriage closed. WW says ok dear. Then takes the affair underground until caught and or OM convinces her to file for divorce and leave the BH.

 

 

The above is not a unique story. Sadly it happens too often.

[beach]

Grizzly,

 

What has transpired from having another discussion with your H about the April event and the wedding?

 

Does he see how going anywhere that OM attends is a potential harm to your progress to reconcile the marriage?