Overcoming shyness

[AVarma]

So a big problem that I have is shyness. Unfortunately I've never had much of a social life and I turn 29 in a few months. I do regret missing out on the social life I could have had when I was in high school, college and early 20's, especially all the girls I could have been with! But I guess in life we all have to move on at some point.

 

I've always wanted to do sports but I'm obese at the moment. I'm hoping to get into good shape by summer so I can maybe try some sports clubs.

 

In the meantime I was thinking of maybe taking an acting class. I think being forced to act in front of people might help me get over my shyness, however I do fear that acting on stage may be too big of a leap for me.

 

Anyone have any advice?

[StalwartMind]

Naturally can't and shouldn't force anyone to do things against their will but there isn't really a reason to postpone certain things, such as joining a sports club even if you are obese. Depending on your preference of sports I'd start right as soon as possible, granted some are more seasonal than others.

 

Acting does seem like a big step to overcome shyness since it really puts you on the spotlight but it may be really good for you. Group events, even in sport where you need coordination and someone as leader is decent option too to have people listen to you in order to get a task done.

 

It's great you are taking initiative and the best of luck with it, it opens new doors when one overcome personal challenges and more often than not, you will already see it happening as soon as you start doing something new.

[Ethan78]

Yes, there is motivation from doing sports with other people. You will achieve far more that way.

 

As for acting start with a beginner's class but try to forget about your ego. You could even aim to embarrass yourself to play around with your own anxiety. Also, look up beginner's improv classes.

[AVarma]

Yes, there is motivation from doing sports with other people. You will achieve far more that way.

 

As for acting start with a beginner's class but try to forget about your ego. You could even aim to embarrass yourself to play around with your own anxiety. Also, look up beginner's improv classes.

 

lol embarrassing myself is my biggest fear!

[Ralph79]

One thing I can recommend is that you find your source of confidence. We all have one.

 

Example

 

I'm still shy, even at my mid 30's and even after being married to a very beautiful woman for nearly 5 years. That didn't go well for me , but that's beyond the point.

 

I was able to develop a relationship with this person because I met her in an environment where I was completely confident in my abilities. (Online gaming). I was charming, witty, and clever. Traits that don't easily come out of me, specially in bars and nightclubs.

 

I also now run my own company. I am completely confident and focused in what I do with everyone under my watch. Once I'm off work, the shyness starts creeping back in. So what I do is incorporate the elements that bring me confidence in myself into my interactions with people (depending on the circumstance of course), and try to interact with people who are like minded and can appreciate the qualities I have to offer.

 

Eventually I was able to tap into my source of confidence in more varied settings, but the key is, always be yourself.

[CrystalShine2011]

I would def join an improv group, book club, zoomba class, etc so that you are interacting with others. It's never too late, you can do it!

[Sofarris]

One method that really worked for me was starting conversations with random people you see during your day. Say when you go shopping or head out for some food. When you're being served why not ask the server how their day is? Most of the time they're happy to have someone trying to break the monotony of their day.

 

This helped me realise that these people are actually just that, people. So therefore there's no reason to be nervous. You have a hard journey ahead of you but with perseverance and hard work you will prevail.