norudder Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Heard from him again after seeing each other last week. I had suggested counseling before we went nc. Apparently he took suggestion. As we left things his marriage was not good, shed had at least one unconfessed affair, had threatened divorce several times before I ever came along, wouldn't say she either loved nor hated him. (As a mW she's checked out IMO). He said he was sorry his timing wasn't right (kids). He was going into a depression from our breakup. I was too (from that and divorce, we women can be so strong when we need to be!) Hence suggested counseling. I didn't want to pry but I have no idea what this means and he said all he was willing to share was that he's going. He doesn't want to say the right or wrong thing but I should continue my life and he asked I pull away to see how things turn out and that spring is around the corner. Is he making a decision or what? Hope is a horrible thing sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean89 Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Your last thread talked about you going on with our life. Is that what you are still doing? If you are in NC, why are you talking to him? From reading your previous thread, I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you. You have no idea what goes on in his home, can't trust his words cause he isn't going to tell you he is working on his marriage -- not if he wants to keep you in the affair. Tell him you don't want to know about his life unless he is divorced. Why keep torturing yourself? He hasn't left, he hasn't chosen to separate. He is still married, with his wife at home and you really have no idea what goes on there. Focus on healing yourself. Don't wait around for him. If he loved you, he would be with you (as you are aware, people do divorce all the time). The wife has allegedly had an affair and that hasn't been enough to make him leave her. So stop worrying about anything he is doing. Work on you - dealing with your divorce and grieving the end of the affair (and your marriage). You don't need to sit around and hope and wait for this jerk. Link to post Share on other sites
Author norudder Posted February 18, 2015 Author Share Posted February 18, 2015 I am trying to move forward. Its my intention. The emotions need to follow and the run in last week set me back a bit after doing well. I haven't known anything other than my affectionless marriage and then the connection in our A. I don't have the comfort of a fallback spouse (I wouldnt use him that way) and I don't want to use someone as a rebound leaving them feeling like I do now. Sitting with the pain is the right way to heal but it sucks. Then to get a sign of possibility, couldn't help read into it. You're right. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
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