Long Distance Engagement Gone Wrong. Can I Win Her Back One Day?

[mikeveli4g]

Greetings everyone

 

 

I'm going to try to make this brief and simple as possible so bear with me.

 

 

It's almost been 6 months since I got that phone call where she was like "I can't do this anymore." We were engaged, two countries apart and I was 4 months away from our fiancé visa being granted for me to move over there to be with her.

 

 

To make matters worse, I failed "Break Up 101," because this wasn't your typical break up where we see each other in person everyday. Fact is, I may never see her in person ever again so when she only gave me one day to speak my mind which was filled with frustration obviously after having to jump from job to job and being under appreciated at times, I reached out to my friends and her friends to try to get them to help intervene..... begged... pleaded, until she broke the news to me it was a new guy in the picture and from what she says she's "known him for a long time."

 

 

Mind you, I'm a "pauper with potential" and she is pretty much on beauty queen status and it's no surprise that some full with probably less struggle I had probably dropped a bug in her ear and she immediately jumped on his team and 3 months after it all she tells me they are "official."

 

 

I saw all the signs but didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to come across as "jealous" and of course thanks to my struggles and her being distant and taking me for granted so much it lead to arguments and things we both shouldn't have said and she used that as the excuse to call it quits.

 

 

She still wants to be friends and hasn't deleted me from FB but it's killing me to erase all these memories because me traveling across the world was one of my biggest accomplishments in my life and it's just hard to just up and erase everything because of this.

 

 

Yes, I know the rules... no contact which is what has been done with the exception of 2 or 3 times just trying to get an apology for it all but she is still spiteful towards me at times and the only positive I saw was her wishing me Happy Birthday but of course I was in bed with my "rebound" who thankfully is in a similar situation and it works until further notice lol.

 

 

All in all, I feel like down the line we could still be if we just put all the bullsh*t to the side and being that she is one that likes to hold grudges, I'm just wondering is this new guy a "rebound" or could it indeed be the one for her? I figured since she still hasn't given me that complete, peaceful closure and she clearly knows I can see what's going on in her world on FB with her now "feeling loved" on V-Day... that she still may consider me if things fall apart on her new conquest.

 

 

She is a tough cookie for anyone but I'm so drawn to her because of what we went through all our lives prior to us making it official but clearly the grass is greener.

 

 

Please... I know I should move on but the dating game sucks. Being 33 with a little bit of gray doesn't attract the best women and when you run into the best women they are already taken. Aside from that, I crashed financially, so even if I lucked out to get a good one, I have to explain to them why I'm struggling and of course that scares them off. My thing is...take this time out and fix it instead of taking the risk of doing this all over again with someone new and having a similar or worse ending.

 

 

Thank you for reading

[erklat]

Luckily by the time they do, you will be long gone.

 

Do you want to be someone's number two?

 

Why isn't she blocked everywhere?

 

With someone new you don't know if it will work.

With your ex you know it doesn't work.

[mikeveli4g]

Thank you very much for your feedback.

 

 

Trust and believe me I really do want to and I agree with you 100 percent but it was a life changing experience from coming so far and I've loved her for so many years it's just hard to say "b#*ch, goodbye."

 

 

I never want to be no one's no. 2 and that's why I'm keeping my peace doing me and not competing but finding another good woman on her level at this point in life is so hard. She's from big city bright lights, I'm from where everyone knows your name and everyone has "done" everybody.

 

 

I was faithful, loyal and clearly would have given my life but it's the game I guess. I'm having fun and enjoying the life but def. not getting any younger.

[erklat]

You are definitely not old either so you have to rush now to find someone.

 

First build a meaningful life - not necessarily in a materialist way, and then

find someone who would like to share it with you. Don't settle for less.

[coryreply]

My thing is...take this time out and fix it instead of taking the risk of doing this all over again with someone new and having a similar or worse ending.

 

^^^ Yes, this. It's so hard not to freak out a little bit when you're ending a relationship. Try and focus on getting things in your life back into a better place first.

[CrystalShine2011]

I agree with the above, I wouldn't want to be a second option for someone.

 

With the right person, it will happen. Good luck, it'll be okay.

[mikeveli4g]

Thank you both for your feedback.

 

 

To Cory's comment... I'm doing the best I can and focusing on getting a CAREER instead of a "JOB" but it's so horrible where I live and obviously since I was moving I had to put everything on hold and had to turn down potential career opportunities during my relationship. Definitely an eye opener but I'm sure things will be alright in time.

 

 

To Crystal.... I definitely feel you on the 2nd option thing and usually under most circumstances I would say HELL NO. But it's only because I fell in love with her the moment I set eyes on her and we waited 6 years to finally meet one another in person and it was magic but hard times came along and a brutal legal process that took the feeling out of everything. I think she just panicked and became impatient and of course MAD AT ME over things I had no control over and I'm to blame for it because the stress of it all got the best of me but it was all going to pass. It's so hard to erase these memories from my head because I worked so hard for it all and I love her family, especially her mom who put up the bank to get me over there faster. It's a really hard pill to swallow so that's why if nothing else should come along I would reconsider but like you said... things will be okay... I'm just anxious to see what the future will bring.